14. A promise is a promise

When I was five years old a friend at primary school, whose name is J told me he liked a girl called A and asked me never to tell anyone.

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I never have and I never will. Almost 30years and I haven’t told anyone. Over the years I’ve thought about saying something to someone about it but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it, just something about the innocence of that promise I guess.

He wouldn’t even care now, but 5 year old J would and I don’t want to break my promise to him.

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15. Poo-related

My mum laughs about this all the time but I don’t tell anyone because it makes her sound insane. I was about 4 or 5 at the time and I lived in an area where everyone was a bit rich and snobby. My mum went to visit her “friend” who had two kids. One was a girl and she had this beautiful pink girl bedroom with double bed with a canopy, loads of toys and she was adored by the mum. The boy’s room had this cage like cot which he was just sitting in. My mum loves children so didn’t like this. One day she asks me “poorelatedthrowaway do you need to go to the toilet? If you do, do it in this bag” now I thought that was a bit weird so I didn’t. Eventually we’re driving along and there’s this tupperware container with a plastic bag with something brown in it. We get to this car park and park up, my mum takes the bag out, walks over to another car and just smears her own human waste all over the windscreen just covering the whole thing it. It was awful. Anyway she threw the bag away and we drive off.

Photo Credit: Instagram, thatkidbrian

She told me another story about when she was a late teen/young adult and a boyfriend had done something really bad to her. So she did a poo in a box, wrapped it up nicely and left it in his room as a present.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

16. Dumpster crunch

When I worked at a convenience store, there was a huge dumpster that we were responsible for taking out back every week. It was my turn this week. This thing weighed well over a thousand pounds, but luckily it was on wheels so I just pushed the thing. I wasn’t really paying attention, and there was a slight downhill slope in the designated dumpster area. Some jerk parked their convertible in the spot, but by the time I noticed, it was too late. It rolled slowly, but the amount of force it had was incredible.

Photo Credit: Instagram, michaeldonovanphoto

I was frantic and acting stupidly. The best I could do was try to stop it by putting myself between it, and this worked to a degree, but I wasn’t able to push it up the hill and there was nobody around to help me. So I squirmed my way out, listened to the door crunch under a thousand pounds of metal and garbage, and went back to work. Somebody had a bad day that day.

17. WHOA

Might as well get this off of my chest…

Without going into great detail (purposely vague), more than five years ago I was a part of a group of 3-5 people that would successfully take the MCAT in place of others for a fee. We were all adept at taking the exam.

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Our clients were old money types with kids who could not make the cut (or didn’t want to try). The fee was $100k plus any other extra charges. Fake fingerprints, IDs, prosthetics, you name it and we did it.

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I had no qualms doing this as my reasoning was “if they can’t pass the exam, how would they get through med school + STEPs? Take their money and let them fail out of med.”

No problems until one of the clients actually managed to get through school and had racked up some malpractice (thankfully nothing too serious). It hit me hard to the point of attempted suicide. I quit and went to therapy and the group disbanded (for other reasons) shortly thereafter.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

I’m much doing much better now, but this info is staying with me from people that I know (and staying with you, random reader).

18. Cash in hand

I worked for a shipping company at a customer desk. A guy I had known came in to ship a package. He was a known drug dealer in my town. He didn’t recognize me. The package was wrapped in duct tape. I took the package, brought it out back and made it disappear into my backpack. After my shift I opened the package & found $37,890 in cash. I never went back to the job & never heard anything about it. I left Texas a month later with cash in hand.

Photo Credit: Paramount