We love diving into novels, television shows, and movies that feature all sorts of characters, both as a protagonist and antagonist. We love to step into shoes that aren’t ours, into lifestyles we will never try, and just imagine what it might be like to live another life.
That said, there are plenty of those characters we’re also glad we don’t have to meet in real life, for one reason or another – and these 18 people are dishing on which characters they’re glad only live on the page.
18. Whose to say he doesn’t?
Penny Wise.
17. We definitely don’t need that.
Homelander. This world is messed up enough already without a Superman-flavored Hitler going around.
(Also don’t need an Omni-Man or that BrightBurn kid either)
16. He’s not the best.
Honestly Joker, I don’t ever want to hear his laugh when I’m in public, a movie theater or even in my own home with a gun.
His list of felonies is why I don’t want him to be real.
Five minutes with him and Hannibal Lecter would be like “WHAT THE F*%K, MAN??!!!!”
15. That’s the scariest thing he’s ever said.
Darth Vader. I just know he’d end up being my boss: “I find your lack of productivity disturbing.”
14. She’s an actual nightmare.
Umbridge from Harry Potter. If she was I’d take one for the team.
She was so hateable because she was real. I had two teachers who were extremely similar, who seemed to get off on punishment and making rules for you to break.
13. Definitely petty.
Jigsaw. I don’t wanna make some mistake in my life and get killed for it. Have you seen the petty shit people get abducted for in some of those movies?
Literally killed a guy for being a smoker! I love the movies, but Jigsaw’s moral code gets more and more inane as the films go on.
12. I’d rather not.
Trevor from GTA V. I really love that game and Trevor’s character too, but that men is something else. Imagine in real life??? He could beat all the Florida mens’ crimes in a record time.
Give him 6 months and he’ll take over the whole country with his drug farm.
11. No monsters of the deep, please.
Cthulhu. Or for that matter anything sinister created by HP Lovecraft or Clive Barker.
Nyarlathotep would be the worst, since it actively enjoys messing with humanity while the majority of the elder gods are mostly indifferent to our existence.
10. Tooth stuff is weird.
The tooth fairy. God how freaking creepy!!
Some stranger breaking into my kiddos room stealing body parts for some random collection seems freaking as hell to me.
9. Not the best neighbor.
Timmy’s Dad from Fairly OddParents, he’s actually quite a horrible human being, especially to his neighbor Dinkleberg.
(He wanted to blow his house up with a bazooka in one episode and another episode had him and Crocket conspire to literally fucking nuke Dinkleberg to death)
8. A little too real.
Punisher, because so many cops aspire to be him.
But if he was real Punisher would straight up murder most of the cops who idolise him
7. He’s pure evil.
Joffrey Lannister. I’ve never hated a 12-year-old so much.
GoT provides a nice array of characters I’m glad do not exist.
6. I think he does exist. Honestly.
Randall Flagg.
5. Can you even imagine?
Caillou.
4. A terrible power.
Gul Dukat.
Dude was straight EVIL. His power was genocidal murder painted over by charm and wit.
3. It definitely wouldn’t be ideal.
Vilgax from Ben 10. The last thing the Earth wants is a giant cyborg octopus invading us.
Or maybe Alien X would be worse in existence, yes he helped recreate and saved the universe from a doomsday weapon, but imagine if he decided he had enough of all living beings and decided to destroy the universe in a thought, we definitely wouldn’t be prepared for that.
2. Mind games for days.
Emperor Palpatine. I don’t think anyone fully realizes just how terrifyingly charismatic and manipulative he really is.
This is excluding his force powers. Imagine a man like him in today’s political climate.
If he were real he would have made today’s political leaders look weak by comparison and could have manipulated, lied and cheated his way into a seat of power easily.
1. He can sort of be reasoned with, though.
Thanos would suck… Such a simplistic view of things.
If he can snap his fingers and erase half of life, why not snap and double resources instead?
Or just give him a good argument about how you can better reallocate the universe’s resources.
I have to agree with all of these, and I could make a long list myself.
What fictional characters are you happy to leave between the covers? Share with us in the comments!
