The first day on a new job is never easy, but it’s also pretty difficult to screw up so badly you get canned…or so you would think. On AskReddit, we found a number of stories of what NOT to do if you want to be asked back for a second day on the job.
1. Not The Best Place To Find A Dealer
“He tried to buy weed off a customer just because the customer looked like someone who might have weed. He didn’t.”
2. Asshole Parents Make Asshole Kids
“I worked at a popular teen/college kid clothing store. I wasn’t the manager, but I trained new hires. This one girl shopped at the store a lot and we were excited to hire her.
She was let go because she was late, was caught trying on clothes instead of greeting, and apparently laughed when anyone asked for a size larger than a medium.
Her family showed up at the end of her shift, and tried to buy $2k-$3k worth of clothes with her employee discount. Corporate policy sucks, so they got a good portion of it. Her mom tried to bring it all back years later (completely worn/destroyed) and threw a fit saying she should get full price because the girl had died. Guess who we could all see sitting in her mom’s car?”
I got to fire my co-manager’s sister who called 5 minutes before her first shift and said she’d be there in an hour because she just sat down to dinner with friends.
“What do you mean you just sat down for dinner? Your first shift is in 5 minutes?”
“Yeah I know. But we were out and decided to go for dinner. I’ll still be there, just a little late.”
“An hour isn’t a ‘little’ late. Be here in 5 minutes or don’t bother coming in at all.”
“But <co-manager> is my sister! She gave me the job!”
“Yes she did. See you in 5, or not at all”
But <co-manager> is my sister!””
4. Worst. Teacher. Ever.
“I’m a teacher.
I was on a committee to hire a new 5th grade teacher.
I was showing her the ropes and monitoring her in class behavior. I watched this bonehead tell a student, “I don’t like you very much. Figure it out yourself.”
The next thing I showed her was the door.
In the exit interview (had it on the walk to the door) I demanded an explanation and she said of the student she ‘didn’t like,’ “He was wearing designer jeans. You know his life is all peaches and cream, taking from us little guys.” I say “Did he make an inappropriate comment to you about money?” She says “No. But I know their kind.””
5. Work Isn’t Where You Should Try To Unload Your Stash, Dude
“My chef hired a guy who was less than a week out of prison for dealing. He was just going to wash dishes. Seemed like an OK guy, just looking for some work because he had just done 5+ years. So, day one, he goes to head chef and asks, “Hey man, you know anybody here who wants to buy heroin?”
Out the door 2 hours into his first job out of the joint.”
6. If You’re Gonna BS Your Resume, At Least Know The Basics
“IT position, supposedly had a BA in computer science with 2 years experience in relevant technical position. I didn’t interview him.
We very quickly discovered that his computer abilities were non existent, started asking questions until he broke down and said he lied on his resume because he wanted to make more money. His previous job was drywall installation.
We gave him a list of software he needed, available via a URL. He didn’t know what to do with a URL, or what a URL was, and then it quickly unravelled. It was about 3 hours because the first 2 were paperwork.”
7. Entitled Little Ass
“The job hours were from 8am to 4:30pm, Monday through Friday. Our new hire showed up about 10 minutes late on the first day. Normally 10 minutes late isn’t that big a deal to me, but it was his first day, and I had pulled 3 other staff members into our 8am meeting so we could discuss the training schedule with our new hire.
So we are already in our meeting when the new guy walks in. He doesn’t apologize for being late – he just sits down as I’m going over the training schedule for the week. After a few minutes of listening to us discuss what he’s going to be doing for the rest of this week, he raises his hand and says, “Can we reschedule the afternoon sessions planned for today and tomorrow? I have to leave at 11 today and 12:30 tomorrow.” This was the first time I was hearing about these plans.
I asked the 3 staff supervisors to give me an opportunity to speak with the new guy alone for a few minutes. They leave the room, so I start talking to the guy about how he can’t just change his schedule without running it by management first. As I’m talking to this guy, he gets a text. He looks down at his phone and puts his hand up, as if he were telling me, “I’ll be with you right after I finish reading this text”.
As soon as he finished reading the text and looked back at me, I said, “This isn’t going to work. Please make sure you take everything you brought with you and do not return. I’ll have HR email you your separation papers.” He seemed pretty shocked and asked what he did wrong so I told him. He tried to explain himself, but I told him that it’s best if he finds somewhere else to work.”
8. Not The Smartest Crook
“I work for a company that takes care of the HR needs of other small companies in my area. New hires often come in to fill out paperwork.
We had this guy who came in, filled out his name and social security number, gave it to us, then proceeded to steal the front desk guy’s wallet and keys. Right in front of the very visible security camera.
Turns out the police knew the guy as we was a repeat offender. He lived right around the corner.”