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19+ Truly Horrible, Utterly Evil Things People Did

By on April 30, 2017 at 11:59 am

15. This is some Mean Girls shit

I made a girl fat… and not by marrying her.

In 2003, my office got a new secretary and a new manager. The secretary, a thin blonde, was a vile she-devil, she wouldn’t do anything the staff asked (find info, set up calls, get coffee for anyone who wasn’t herself) and the manager wouldn’t do anything about it. We joked that her job title was “Internet Quality Control” because she more-or-less sent personal email and played on myspace all day, to which when she overheard, literally went to the manager in tears. Then one day I got a rather large jar of candy as a gift and she just about single-handedly consumed half of it, which pissed me off good. Then later that week, I brought in a dozen donuts and she ate half of them on her own. Upon putting the facts together, our web designer, editor and I decided to fuel the fire in something we called “Operation: Butter-Up”, where we each in turn brought in a large bag of candy to fill up my jar as fast as she could empty it. In the course of three months, she put on 20 pounds.

In a years time, she unrecognizable and along with being a crank, she was an idiot and couldn’t figure out how. Several times a week we provided her sweets and snacks of every kinds until her boyfriend dumped her, which was about eight months into the project, and she had to get a new wardrobe. We lucked out because she was rather stupid, but we had more diabolical measures lined up if she stopped eating the candy, along the lines of mixing in weight-gainer to the non-dairy creamer she was using and things of that nature. That was 2003 and she’s still big to this day, saw her on Facebook and smiled at our handiwork. Still single to this day, and I would like to think that we had something to do with it.

16. You win.

I created Clippy, the Microsoft Office Assistant.

17. “Ended up saving him in the end”

In early high school, my best friend and I liked the same girl. This girl was, to put it lightly, “it”: drop-dead gorgeous, brilliant, and excelled in all things athletic. Well, my best friend didn’t know that I liked her at the same time that he did, and so when the girl and I started to date I didn’t tell my best friend for a few months, all the while he was pining after her… I finally told him after a while, and damn was he pissed. I felt like shit. But we didn’t stop hanging out even after that–he forgave me pretty quickly, which was always the moment to me that I knew that I could count on this guy like no one else. And which simultaneously made me feel like shit again, because I don’t think I would have forgiven him at the time.

Anyway, said girl and I dated for a long time, and it turned out to be the most intense, emotionally taxing, fucked-up relationship I’ve ever had. Whenever my friend and I joke about it now, we always comment on how I ended up saving him in the end. Karma’s a bitch.

18. Armed Robbery

One night I was at a friend’s house party and living it up as usual. My friend (owner of said house) introduces all of us to a real asshole friend of his. This guy was bragging how he just stole this teens purse over at the local burger joint. I’m not usually one to get involved or be of high morals but I’ve got a thing against stealing directly from innocent people (stores and stuff were ok at the time). So later on that night when this guy is tipsy I get him in a part of this house, just me and him.

I’ve been brooding all night over this guy so I’m really pissed (and drunk) by this time. When he turns around I’m sticking my Smith & Wesson 9mm pistol in his face. He literally shits himself but I don’t care. I take this girl’s purse from him and then make him give me his wallet ($353.00 in cash, a license, some credit cards, not much else) and all the valuable shit he has on him (gold necklace, class ring, iPod, and some weird demonic ring). I tell him to never grace the presence of me or my house friend again as I cock the hammer back on the gun, at this he pisses himself. I make him leave the party right then and there (I left him his car keys). Later on when I sobered up I drive over to the local big boxmart and get a box out back of the dumpster. I note this girl’s license address and label the box as such. I then put in her purse with all her belongings plus this guys valuables (minus the demon ring) and his $353.00. I then proceed to tape it up and ship it out to her. I then went downtown and gave this guy’s wallet to a homeless man and told him to live it up on his credit cards.

19. Dirty Knickers

At primary school in Scotland, when I was about 9 years old, a new boy, Peter, joined the school. His family had moved up from England. He was a bit odd but we go on well enough.

After a few months, he stayed over at my house as part of a sleep-over. A few days later I was looking for something in my toy cupboard and found a pair of Y-front underpants. They weren’t mine. They were Peter’s and they had the most enormous streak of shite in them.

I gingerly put them into a clear plastic folder and the next day at school during break time I charged people 5 pence to look at them. Then someone took them from me and everybody chased Peter around the play ground, with his dirty knickers waving in the air.

20. You’re an asshole

Once I filled some empty corona bottles with urine, recapped them and left near the recycling bin across the street. I was hoping to see some vagrant drink one, there’s bums drinking beer outside my apartment at all hours. After an hour, someone did grab those bottles, but instead of chugging one down right away, they just put them in a backpack and scurried off. Dude didn’t look much like a hobo, very unsatisfactory experience overall. Afterwards I felt guilt.

21. “Despicable me”

This honestly still makes me LOATHE MYSELF, even years later. Okay this will be short and (not so) sweet: I let my boyfriend who I was living with at the time eat me out, right after I had gotten home from cheating on him. Worst part… the guy had cum inside me. Despicable me.

22. This I don’t feel bad about.

A girl was very obviously cheating off of me on an exam so I filled out my test with all of the wrong answers and made it pretty clear so that she could see them.

After she turned in her test while I “checked my answers”, I erased the wrong ones and put in my own answers. She was quite surprised to recieve a 0 on the final, whereas I got an A. She failed the class.

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