*Facepalm*. Something I did many times reading some of these AskReddit responses to the signs from the opposite sex. Take a look below and see if you have the same response I did.
1. Laundry Time
In college, a girl in a few of my classes asked if she could come over and do some laundry because the dorm washer/dryer were down, then maybe do some calculus while we were waiting. She came over, forgot her laundry basket, forgot all of her calculus books/notes, and didn’t really have a plan of why she was there; she suggested she could wash the clothes she was wearing, but all my clothes were too big to fit her while those were getting washed. So we played with my guinea pig for a while and tried both using my calc book before she ended up just going home.
Took me almost two years before a different girlfriend pointed out how dense I was.
In my teens I worked with two middle aged women who lived together and each referred to the other as her partner. I assumed they had an outside business together. About 5 years later I realized that they were (and still are) a couple. In my defence, I’m really, really dumb.
3. Just being friendly
In high school, guy gave me a dozen red roses and said, “These are for you. From me.” I thought he was just being friendly.
4. More important things to talk about.
When I was about 16, I was hanging out at my girlfriend-at-the-time’s place and she was all over me. Her Dad wasn’t home, so, just us. She snuggled up to me and told a story about how she was on a beach the previous day and saw a guy groping his partner. She even put my hand on her thigh as she did.
So, obviously, I just shrugged it all off and started talking about new insects I learned about that morning.
5. So innocent, so cute.
So, I went to a sleep away camp for the first time when I was 12. There was this girl there that I had my eye on, as she was a real cutie, but I was way too shy to approach her. At some point, we’re in the pool together, and her friend comes up to me and says “Hey, my friend told me she’s cold. Can you go warm her up?”
So I did. By getting out of the pool, and grabbing her a towel.
6. “Didn’t like horror movies”
My friend sucked my middle finger all the way down, while maintaining eye contact and invited me to go home with her to watch a horror movie very few moments later. I said I was going home because I didn’t like horror movies.
7. Dancing Fool
A girl asked me if I wanted to go inside and grind…. I just didn’t know what to say. Thought she was being friendly since we just danced for the past hour.
8. Hot Tubbin’
When I was in high school, I was with a group of friends, all of us in a hot tub. This really cute girl…wearing a string bikini… sat in my lap, put her arms around my neck, and within 5 minutes, everyone else left the hot tub to go inside.
What do I do? “Maybe we should go inside with everyone else.”
9. Snapchatting Error
Snapchatted me a photo of her laying in bed with the caption “I really want to cuddle.”
I just told her to use a pillow.
10. Coworker Crush
A coworker I had a big crush on. Invited me multiple times to go work out with him and to go to some parties, hugged me for no reason, told me that he’s ”really happy to see me” multiple times, jokingly grabbed my hips while he was sitting in front of me, played with my hands, smiled like a dork and tried to catch my eye when a coworker joked we should have sex.
I was so shy and anxious that I aborted all these signs, convinced myself it was just ”friendly”.
Now he has a girlfriend. And I look back and I’m just damn.
11. Could not be more explicit.
My best friend came over one day when my family wasn’t home. She dropped her bag and condom fell out. She said “oops” with a smirk.
Later that day we were watching a movie in bed and she told me “I bought new lingerie. Would you like to see?”. I — of course in the most kind manner — told her no. She got pissed at me and left the house. After about 2 days it hit me that she wanted sexy time.
RIP past me.
12. A different kind of sign
The time I went for walk in Poland. The map said it was a gentle green route, but I missed the all the warning and turning signs and accidentally got onto a serious hiking trail up in mountains.
Jeans, trainers and a T-shirt on, four hours later I finally encountered two other people, but they barely spoke English and were in full kit. I asked if there was a cafe nearby to get a drink, but it was miles away.
In fact, it was miles away back in Poland. I’d accidentally hiked my way into Slovakia.
13. Hindsight is 20/20.
Recently went through old text messages from the phone I had in high school. A girl I was attracted to sent me messages and photos that clearly show she was interested in me. I was completely clueless and never knew until now.