Trying new things is generally regarded to be a good thing for humans to do now and again – or as often as you can. Hopefully, those instances pleasantly surprise you, but even when they don’t, you can usually learn something.
If you’re these 19 people, what you learned is that you’re definitely never going to do that again.
19. Trust your gut.
We were giving long distance a shot, it was an on and off relationship for like 3 years.
I traveled 18hrs to see him only to find out he had been cheating on me and no one from his circle even knew I existed.
I cried for a straight 18hr bus ride back home.
18. I’m sure the dog feels the same way.
Attempting to catch my dogs shit in the bag rather than picking it up from the ground. Seemed like a good idea.
Dog sharted up my arm. Had a long walk back home through my neighborhood covered in shit.
17. Food poisoning is the worst.
When I was like, 11 I had some friends (the kids that lived next door) over and we were just hanging out, playing video games all night. My mom ordered Papa John’s for us. We tore the pizza up like the ravenous savages we were and continued gaming. That night the boy stayed over while his sisters and little brother went back home.
We go to bed that night and at some point one of us (cant remember who) began to throw up, which woke the other one up. My mom rushes in and helps clean up the mess. Once the vomiting stops we go back to bed. But then before long itd start again. Just like before, sometimes I was first, sometimes it was him. Sometimes we could get to the bathroom on time, sometimes we couldn’t. My mother, the saint of a woman she is, cleaned up all of that vomit. Apparently things were no better at their house.
To this day some 15 years later I refuse to eat Papa John’s. I’m sure it was just a one time thing but once was enough
16. If you don’t love it, don’t do it.
I applied and got in because my parents thought I would be a good fit. I stuck out the first year because I was heavily influenced into thinking my career paths only included law, engineering or medicine.
After the first year I was miserable and depressed, dropped out and now I’m doing something that I’m passionate about and is less saturated than law. My dad is still trying to convince me to pursue a JD.
15. I’d laugh, but…
Peppermint essential oil.
Why? My darling spouse read online you could use it on lady bits to provide a tingling sensation. Decided to do so to me. DIDN’T read the bit about majorly diluting it first.
The result? The sensation of 1,000 fire ants biting my most intimate parts while simultaneously being submerged in lava. And since it’s an oil, washing it off did jack shit.
I sobbed in a half full bath tub whilst rubbing my cooch with a towel doused in vegetable oil (the remedy, according to the Internet).
0/10 do not recommend
14. A great story for dinner parties.
Purchased a bag of 150 mint mentos as a study snack. Got stuck into an assignment and somehow ate the entire bag over a twelve hour period. Next day my partner and I walked our dogs down to a cafe. Stomach becomes sore while we drink our coffee. I look to the toilet but it’s a busy cafe with a single toilet. Figure I’ll just wait to do my business back home (about a half hour walk away).
As we start walking back I begin to sweat. Cramps become unbearable. Give my partner the dog lead and tell her I need to run. She doesn’t know what’s going on. I start sprinting. Which then makes the stomach cramps so much worse. Realize I’m not going to make it. Almost crying from the stomach cramps. See a Bush. Can’t hold it. Pull pants down. Don’t quite succeed. Shit EVERYWHERE! Bush isn’t concealed.
Other dog walkers walk past and dog runs up. Mortified. Still can’t stop shitting. Partner sees me. My pug happy to see me. Runs straight up and into my mentos diarrhea.
Haven’t eaten mentos ever again. It’s a fun story now but god did that day suck. Partner loves to bring it up at dinner parties.
13. Fastest way to get dumped.
When I was about 17 I had a boyfriend who was a bit older but also a complete idiot. One day he offers me a full body massage and I’m like “sweet!”.
As he’s doing it he tells me he’s going to use tiger balm instead of oil. I asked what that was and he told me it’s what they use for massage in his culture (he’s Chinese, I’m NZ European). I was like “ok whatever”.
Next minute, I had a sensation over my entire body, including my lady parts. Had an hour long shower and I was still suffering. Chinese people do NOT put tiger balm all over their bodies. This guy used to say and do all sorts of dumb sh%t and then would pretend it was Chinese culture to avoid looking like an idiot.
12. Take your time.
Yesterday I was in a hurry and not being very safe and put a 1/4″ drill bit through my hand.
Could have been 100% avoided by taking even the slightest of safety precautions but I was frustrated and rushing to finish.
Never again will I not take the simple moment to do it correctly.
11. Yeah, not okay.
Having a giant needle stuck through my pregnant belly and being dug around to get a sample triggered my fight/flight and I was sweating so much from the intensity.
I didn’t watch while they did it but my mother in law was there and started crying while they were digging around.
She held my hand, looked at me with tears in her eyes and tried to calmly say “it’s okay, you’re okay”.
I still have nightmares about it 10 years later.
10. Always be suspicious.
Back in the mid 2000’s, I got one of those scam calls saying that I owed a lot of money and needed to call them to get an account squared. I was scared and didn’t want police coming after me (I was torrenting a buttload of movies and TV shows at the time and didn’t want them seizing my computer). I called them up and asked them how to get this figured out, assuming that a couple grand would be worth the fines and jail time.
I kept asking questions. I kept imploring for more information. I wanted to know exactly what account I was giving to, the name of my contact there, and exactly which Walmart their “payment partner” was distributing their “money cards.” I was legitimately terrified, but I think my constant questions spooked them. They said “good luck in court, we’re sending the police now,” and hung up. That was the moment I started to realize this might not be a legitimate thing. I tried calling them back, got somebody to pick up, and when I read them back my case number and contact name, they said to stop wasting their time and hung up again.
I did a bit of research, and by “a bit,” I mean “literally two seconds on Google” and discovered that police and banks won’t call you to resolve outstanding debts, and they certainly won’t give you just one hour to fix it. I felt really dumb falling for a scam, but also felt really lucky that the scammers couldn’t answer my deluge of questions.
Nowadays, I independently verify every singe thing. Voicemail, Email, text…if you put a phone number or URL in that thing, I’m going to skip it and take the scenic route instead. I’ll call my bank’s branch directly using the number listed on their official website. I’ll contact a company using their official customer service line. I’ll sign in to my own account using my own bookmark or search result, and not use the “login” button in the email.
Since then, I’ve had very good luck avoiding scams and blocking these overseas criminals. They almost got me once, but afterwards, never f*cking again.
9. This sounds awkward.
Living with a couple.
Roommates suck in general but a 3 times in my life I split an apartment with a couple and it was awkward at best, and truly miserable when they fought.
Getting an endometrial biopsy.
Worst pain of my life.
If I ever get cancer they can just take the whole damn uterus out, I’m not going through that again without anesthesia.
7. It never hurts to take a second look.
Driving through an intersection immediately upon my light changing to green. Some asshole ran a red one day and almost t-boned me on the driver’s side.
Never again. I always wait for a few seconds before I start driving through an intersection, longer if there is a blind corner.
6. Too many lessons learned the hard way.
Alcohol and Cocaine. Almost ruined my life. Started drinking at 16, started doing coke at 26, and took till I was damn near 41 to quit.
Dumped my last baggie of blow out beside my garage 23 years ago and haven’t touched the shit since.
5. The worst.
I think it’s something every young person should do…once.
People suck, especially with our bullshit culture of “the customer is alway right”
4. No thank you.
I had my gallbladder removed after a gallstone.
I thought I was having a heart attack and called an ambulance. While I waited I started arrange all of my finances for my wife. The hospital ran a zillion tests, told me it was a gallstone, and the only real solution was to remove the whole gallbladder if it came back.
If it came back?
3. Just say no.
Meth. I was a hardcore amphetamine pill addict and said “fuck it” one night and smoked a shitload of meth. I was up for two or three days, by the last day I was well into psychosis and left town.
Stayed in a hotel room for a few days to make sure I didn’t become a meth addict and to evaluate what the fuck I was doing with my life. I didn’t stop the pills immediately but I’m never fucking doing meth again.
2. Not good for anyone.
Making friends with people because you feel bad for them.
Be nice but no more than that is required.
Pity is no reason to start a friendship and it never turns out well, neither for them nor for you.
1. Good travel buddies are hard to find.
Go on an overseas tour with a close friend. Always do a mini trip or spend a weekend with them exploring a new place to test the waters.
I went on an overseas trip with someone who was constantly late, couldn’t pay for anything, didn’t want to do any of the activities we had planned, sulked around…the list goes on. We had completely different travel styles.
She wanted to sleep in…I wanted to organise things, be on time and plan ahead. Basically our travel styles just did not mesh. I ended up having such a bad time I booked a flight home. Would never again go on a holiday with her again or any friend with a similar personality. never again.
I have to agree – these were all terrible ideas!
What would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!