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I’m not sure that airplane pilots are necessarily trying to hide things from their passengers for nefarious reasons, but I do think that when you’re dealing with a huge, complicated machine and a mostly-shrouded industry, it probably just seems easier to keep most of the inner workings to yourself.
These 20 pilots loosened their tongues, though, so if you were ever curious about what happens in the cockpit (and beyond) you might find your answers below!
20. You should be glad they’re there.
People tend to think the airplane is just flying itself. Trust me, that’s not true.
It can fly by itself sometimes. But you’ve always got your hands on the controls waiting for it to mess up.
And it does mess up.
—Airplane pilot, South Carolina.
19. The landing really says a lot.
So if you want to say something nice to a pilot as you’re getting off the plane, say “Nice landing.”
We do appreciate that.
—Joe D’Eon, a pilot at a major airline who produces a podcast at flywithjoe.com.
18. But short runways make that almost impossible.
At some airports with really short runways, you’re not going to have a smooth landing no matter how good we are: John Wayne Airport; Jackson Hole, Wyoming; Chicago Midway; and Reagan National.
—Joe D’Eon
17. Just trust them on the weather front.
This happens all the time: We’ll be in Pittsburgh going to Philly, and there will be a weather delay.
The weather in Pittsburgh is beautiful. Then I’ll hear passengers saying, “You know, I just called my friend in Philly, and it’s beautiful there too,” like there’s some kind of conspiracy or something.
But in the airspace between Pittsburgh and Philly there’s a huge thunderstorm.
—Jack Stephan.
16. Some airports are harder than others.
John Wayne is especially bad because the rich folks who live near the airport don’t like jet noise, so they have this noise abatement procedure where you basically have to turn the plane into a ballistic missile as soon as you’re airborne.
—Airplane pilot, South Carolina
15. Not a comforting thought.
It’s extremely dangerous.
If there’s any impact or deceleration, there’s a good chance you’re going to lose hold of your kid, and he becomes a projectile.
But the government’s logic is that if we made you buy an expensive seat for your baby, you’d just drive, and you’re more likely to be injured driving than flying.
—Patrick Smith.
14. Not necessarily a perk.
I give them only to my enemies now.
Sure, you can get a $1,000 airfare to Seattle for $100.
But since you have to fly standby, it will take you three months to get back because you can’t get a seat.
—Pilot, South Carolina
13. Just leave your seatbelt on all the time.
Most of you wouldn’t consider going down the highway at 60 miles an hour without your seat belt fastened.
But when we’re hurtling through the air at 500 miles an hour and we turn off the seat belt sign, half of you take your seat belts off. But if we hit a little air pocket, your head will be on the ceiling.
—Captain at a major airline
12. Plus, the floor is probably dirty.
I always tell my kids to travel in sturdy shoes.
If you have to evacuate and your flip-flops fall off, there you are standing on the hot tarmac or in the weeds in your bare feet.
—Joe D’Eon
11. Costs are always cut from somewhere.
Please don’t complain to me about your lost bags or the rotten service or that the airline did this or that. My retirement was taken to help subsidize your $39 airfare.
—Pilot, South Carolina
10. They control the thermostat.
Cold on the airplane? Tell your flight attendant. We’re in a constant battle with them over the temperature.
They’re moving all the time, up and down the aisles, so they are always calling and saying, “Turn up the air.”
But most passengers I know are freezing.
—Captain at a major carrier.
9. Just say no to reclining your seat in coach.
If you’re going to recline your seat, for God’s sake, please check behind you first.
You have no idea how many laptops are broken every year by boorish passengers who slam their seat back with total disregard to what’s going on behind them.
—John Nance
8. You gotta love it, but if you do…
You don’t have as much time off as your neighbors think you have, you don’t make as much money as your relatives think you make, and you don’t have as many girlfriends as your wife thinks you have.
Still, I can’t believe they pay me to do this.
—Commercial pilot, Charlotte, North Carolina
7. The downsizing hurts everyone.
We miss the peanuts too.—US Airways pilot, South Carolina.
6. Like a musician on tour.
I may be in uniform, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best person to ask for directions in the airport.
We’re in so many airports that we usually have no idea.
–Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina.
5. It’s not like in the movies…most of the time.
On TV and in the comics, you always see these pilots with their hats on, and they have their headsets on over the hat, and that always makes us laugh.
—Joe D’Eon
4. I guess it’s better if they’re rested.
I may be in uniform, but that doesn’t mean I’m the best person to ask for directions in the airport.
We’re in so many airports that we usually have no idea.
–Pilot for a regional carrier, Charlotte, North Carolina.
3. Color me shocked.
Here’s a news flash: We’re not sitting in the cockpit listening to the ball game.
Sometimes we can ask the controllers to go to their break room to check the score.
But when I fly to Pittsburgh on a Sunday afternoon, the passengers send the flight attendants up at least ten times to ask us the Steelers score.
—Commercial pilot, Charlotte, North Carolina
2. That’s quite the visual.
One time I rode in the jump seat of a 747 freighter, which carries cargo, not passengers.
As soon as the doors closed, the first officer went in back and put on a bathrobe and slippers.
No kidding. He said, ‘I’ll be damned if I’m going to wear a tie for a bunch of boxes.’
–Tech pilot at a regional airline, Texas
1. They have good reasons for every request.
We ask you to put up the window shade so the flight attendants can see outside in an emergency, to assess if one side is better for an evacuation.
It also lets light into the cabin if it goes dark and helps passengers get oriented if the plane flips or rolls over.
—Patrick Smith
I’ve got pilots in my family, and I’ve got to say, this list has only made me more curious about their work.
If you’re a pilot or work on an airplane, drop some more secrets in the comments!
