21 People Muse On What They Would Rename Earth If They Were In Charge

It’s kind of crazy how long ago the planets were named and how no one has really challenged those names, don’t you think? I mean, the world has changed quite a bit since the 18th century, and yet here we are, all referencing Roman gods and goddesses on a daily basis like it’s totally natural.

Maybe it’s just that we can’t really come up with anything better, but that can’t be it, right?

Well, see how these 21 people would rename Earth and see whether or not you agree!

21. Just to anger a large number of people.


20. All valid options.

Dearth. Girth. Gearth.

19. I mean, why not?

Matsch, Schlamm, Morast, Schlick.

From now on we live on the planet Morast.

18. Seems like a great 21st century options.


17. At least Hollywood thinks so.

Earth 2000.

Everything is more awesome followed by “2000”.

16. It looks nice in the visitor’s guide.

Sol 3.

Came here to say that. Might as well call it what the visitors guide would say.

It is true what they say, “men are from Sol 4—women are from Sol 2.”

15. Why are we like this?


I’m sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Ouranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all. Ourectum

14. If a dude is going to name it…

Blue ball.

Bloo marbol.

13. There can be no debate.

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

Having the jingle is not debated.

12. This checks out.

Shaturn. Poopiter. M-arse.

11. Do a little dance.


beep beep boo beep boop bo beep bo boo boop

10. I mean why not?

The Planet Formerly Known as Earth.

Unpronounceable symbol.

9. An accidental win.


That’s actually biblical

Heaven-lite is also biblical, odd as it sounds.

8. I like it.

Earth 4

Just to mess with aliens.

7. Unless you’re a tasty animal.

Mostly Harmless.

6. Always important.


So aliens know we definitely f**ked their mom.

5. Very clever.

Nife or NiFe.

The planet is mostly Nickle (Ni) Iron (Fe), right?

And who doesn’t want to be able to claim they live on the NiFe’s edge?

4. It gives a certain warning.

Detroit, the Planet.

3. Second.


We’ll also have to rename Texas “Tex-arse”

2. Not a bad suggestion.

It’s synonymous with dirt. Yet it has more water. I need a fancy sounding foreign name for mud.


That’s a nice word for such a naughty planet.

1. Like the yogurt.


It’s bc Gaia was the Greek goddess of Earth, mother of all life, similar to the Roman Terra Mater (mother Earth) reclining with a cornucopia.

The Romans copy/pasted the Greek pantheon and most of the surrounding mythology but spiced up most of the names.

Ok, some of these ideas are not actually that bad.

If you think you’ve got a good one yourself, drop it in the comments – we’re all ears!