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24 of the Cleverest Comebacks of All Time

Photo Credit: Pexels

Every now and again, people say something so stupid you actually can’t believe it came out of their mouths.

Luckily, there are lots of expert wordsmiths out there who can think of clever, witty comebacks at a moment’s notice.

Here are 24 of the best comebacks of all time.

1. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.

This may just be the best burn ever.

Don’t know about you folks, but I totally get asked to follow people all the time.
byu/Jozxyqk_27 inMurderedByWords

2. Slow clap for this one.

Don’t make fun of someone else’s job, period.

On a comment thread about UPS and USPS workers
by inMurderedByWords

3. She’s out here flexin’ alright.

And she thought she wouldn’t get caught!

All Caps abbreviations, too!
byu/PianoMusicTheorist inMurderedByWords

4. Damn, shut down!

How do you even come back from that?

[Murder] All they wanted was a damn taquito emoji
by inMurderedByWords

5. Here, she fixed it for you.

Ahh, that’s better.

A better headline
byu/SUBTOPEWDSNOWW inMurderedByWords

6. When atheists attack.

That’s seriously savage.

This is how you murder someone with a sentence.
byu/ede720 inMurderedByWords

7. Don’t fuck with ‘Harry Potter’ fans.

Or they will shut you down.

I’m a Ravenclaw
byu/Ben-Wyatts-Calzone inMurderedByWords

8. Looks like they taught this student critical thinking.

College = success!

Mmm spicy
by inMurderedByWords

9. Myth, busted.

Just so, so good.

I think this counts as a murder
byu/bill-bob_10 inMurderedByWords

10. Well, actually, you didn’t take your analogy far enough.

Here, let us help.

Nice Employee[TM] gets called out for the bad metaphor
byu/PaulaCiccone inMurderedByWords

11. Your insult could not be completed as dialed.

Please try again later.

Please try again
byu/Standsaboxer inMurderedByWords

12. Friends. Who needs ’em?

It’s hard to make friends when you’re a total prick.

This guy wants all the cake.
byu/godsafraud inMurderedByWords

13. That oughta shut her up.

Expert-level burn right here.

In a shower thoughts thread “Telling a man to man up is the equivalent of telling a woman to get back in the kitchen”.
byu/Themotron inMurderedByWords

14. It’s like looking in a crystal ball.

Maybe he’ll reconsider his approach.

15. The Beatles for the win.

Touche, touche.

Another reason to love the Beatles
byu/simwalkedaway inclevercomebacks

16. That’s an apt comparison.

Seriously, Boomers, what the heck?

They also have poor swordsman skill
byu/the_saddest_one inMurderedByWords

17. There are two types of people.

We can’t stop laughing at this one.

Especially clever
by inclevercomebacks

18. The truth hurts.

Even when you’re a movie star.

So apparently Tarentino is as savage in real life as he is in reel life
byu/Lowcrbnaman inMurderedByWords

19. ‘Merica.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

[deleted by user]
by inclevercomebacks

20. Argument = shut down.

Now that’s a great teacher.

Find a different career.
byu/TheRaptor668 inMurderedByWords

21. The hypocrisy.

It’s staring you right in the face.

Christmas isn’t about bragging rights, except when it so clearly is
byu/beerbellybegone inMurderedByWords

22. We can all learn a thing or two from this movie.

It’s very applicable to real life.

Have we tried selflessness?
byu/lisanik inclevercomebacks

23. Ooooh burn!

That is so spicy it hurts.

Shine like a diamond
byu/Madman5765 inclevercomebacks

24. He already thought of that.

Clearly, you dullard.

Now someone is asking the real questions
byu/Prof-ParadoX_ inclevercomebacks

What’s your favorite burn of all time? Or are there comebacks you wish you’d thought of during the middle of an argument? We’d love to hear from you!

Let us know in the comments!