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17. Broke friends
Well, it was my 18th, and my first after starting university. Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. I talked to all my friends and they all wanted to come until I mentioned they might have to kick in half for their dinner. All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled. My World of Warcraft guild got together and sent me a tray of muffins and a timecard. Its always a crappy day when the only people who even pretend to care on your birthday are people who you’ve never met in real life. Thank you, <The Muffin Kings>, for caring.
18. Series of unfortunate events
My 20th birthday. I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. When I got there and found out class was cancelled I was pretty bummed, especially since I had no ride home for three hours. Next my sister takes me out to lunch where we find out our grandfather has to have emergency open heart surgery. Awesome. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me. We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. I have to pay for my own dinner. Next we go back to her dorm room for some birthday sexy time, but instead we have a talk and she breaks up with me. Worst birthday I’ve ever had.
19. Shit rolls downhill
16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting. They didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Then my best friend, who happened to be the girl I was madly in love with stopped by to tell me goodbye as she was moving to Texas with her family. I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out. When I got back from saying goodbye, my dad was packing his stuff and they told me they were getting divorced.
20. Birthday present
On my 21st birthday, I got an email that would change my life forever. I still remember the day quite clearly. I was living in Japan at the time, and I was sitting at the bar having lunch when my phone dinged to let me know I had a message. It was an email from the DNA testing company with the results of my DNA test between myself and my son. They were a 99.999999999999999997% match. I was ecstatic, but the joy was fleeting.
I called the then ex-girlfriend to deliver the news. I remember being so happy dialing that number. She answered, listened to what I had to say, then proceeded to tell me that it didn’t matter. She doesn’t like who I am, she doesn’t like what I do for a living, she doesn’t think I’d make a good father. I was taken aback, I thought she was kidding and tried to laugh it off, but she solidified it all by hanging up the phone. I’d never known a feeling so painful. I imagine being shot hurts less than the words I had heard in that call.
I fought the good fight from then on, but I never talked to her again. Legal counsel recommended I try not to take her to court for custody because she will win (I have no support network, I live in a foreign nation, etc). I used to follow her Facebook and look at pictures of him, but after they started timeline, all her stuff became private. I’ve never even met him.
21. A Failure of a Mother
On my 9th birthday my mum took me and six girls from my class to the cinema. About ten minutes into the movie she says “Gonna go get another Coke, you guys want anything? We said no thanks, we’re fine. She doesn’t come back. Movie ends and I can’t find her in the lobby, the bathrooms, outside, anywhere. It’s dark, I’m miles from home with no way of contacting anyone and my friends and I are all really scared. I ended up going into a toy shop beside the cinema, crying my eyes out and asked the manager to please help me. He calls the guards (Irish cops) and my friends and I get taken back to my house in two squad cars. My stepdad was absolutely horrified to see us coming home like that. I was really upset and in no mood to celebrate, we did the cake and presents routine and my friends’ parents picked them up soon after. My mum eventually showed up later that night, drunk. I didn’t even bother yelling at her, it was a familiar situation and I knew there was no point. I cried myself to sleep that night. Then Monday arrived, and the girls had told everyone in our class what had happened, and nobody would talk to me. All their parents found out as well, nobody was allowed to come to my house any more and I didn’t get invited anywhere either. It remained that way for the next three years of primary school.
22. Like dominos…
I was really excited for my 19th birthday. I was going to have lunch with my girlfriend, hang out with my friends after, and end the evening with pizza at my parents home. The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. Another hour or so in line. I text my friends and cancel our plans. We then go to The Olive Garden and she spends the whole time talking to her mum about something that the mum’s most recent boyfriend did. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday. Girlfriend looked at me puzzled. She had forgotten it. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. I’m in the backseat and I call my parents and tell them that I’ll be home soon. There’s an accident down the road on. My parents call me and ask where I am. I tell them to eat without me. 3 hours later we are out of the traffic jam and I go to my parents home and cry. Broke up with her a few weeks later because she was cheating on me (for months now) and I was still salty about her forgetting my birthday and ruining that day.
23. Lol, kids
Got extremely sunburnt on my back/shoulders at a water park a few days before my 5th (I think) birthday party
Spent my party face down on a leather sofa crying my eyes out/sulking as roughly 20+ kids ran around in my garden enjoying a water fight party.
24. First world problem
It was my 30th birthday, and my wife and I were going to be house/dog sitting for my father the next day. My father and his wife were flying out the next morning at 6am, so the birthday celebrations were just a quiet dinner out, then early to bed. At around 4pm my dad’s wife cancelled dinner, but we still went over so I could have a look at the new hot water heater, as it had been acting up.
My birthday is a week before Christmas, so we also brought over some gifts for family members we don’t see often. This caused my dad’s wife to flip out and start arguing with my wife. Turns out she had been drinking since around noon, and was starting fights with everyone she came into contact with. This continued for a good half hour while my father and I looked on dumbfounded.
So we sheepishly went home. At that point I really just wanted to get super drunk and pass out, but I didn’t, because I love my father and will not knowingly disappoint him because of something his wife does. My wife was rather upset too, and we went to bed sober and there was no birthday sex. Still drove them to the airport the next morning, and dad’s wife acted like nothing happened.
So, really, it was a first world problem worst birthday, and could have been much worse. I haven’t made plans on my birthday since then, and I see it as any other day.
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