Ladies…you’re about to get totally infuriated.
I’m sure you’ve been in a situation before where someone acted like you were invisible and then went straight to talking to your husband or boyfriend because THEY’RE A MAN, right?
Women took to AskReddit to share their stories about this phenomenon. Let’s take a look…
1. Car shopping.
“We were buying a car for me.
Paying for the whole thing outright, but financing the minimum amount because they ran a deal that got us $1500 off if we financed through them (we paid the whole note the next month), so of course we had to sit in the salesman’s office for an inordinately long amount of time answering questions.
The salesman, who was great in every other way because he was a hands-off, no-pressure guy (we walked from several other places when they attempted to pressure us), would ask my husband the questions. My husband pointed at me and said “I don’t know, it’s her car.” Salesman said “Of course, but we all know how it goes, right?” and kept asking him.
So what ended up happening, because we both wanted to get the paperwork signed and get the hell out of there with the car but we were also on the same wavelength wondering about how far we could go with this, was that the salesman would ask my husband the question.
Husband would blatantly turn to me and repeat the question, I would answer him, then he would turn back to the salesman and repeat exactly what I’d said. Dude never got the idea that maybe he could…just ask me the questions.
On the car we bought for my husband a few years later, since we put both our names on the paperwork we both had to sign. The finance guy saw my last name was different and asked when we were getting married. And was confused when we said “Er, eight years ago?””
2. I’m right here!
“Husband and I took my daughter to urgent care for stitches. Husband was holding the kid, and I checked her in at the front desk iPad.”
Front desk man looks to my husband and asks for the insurance card…. we’re on my insurance so I hand him the card. Next he tells my husband the co-pay, looking at him, behind me, when I’m the one standing at the d*mn desk.
I pull out my card with my name on it, and pay.”
3. Not cool.
“Getting a new patio door.
He walked in, looked me up and down and asked if I had permission to make a decision about the quote. I said I had that power but had to speak to a few more companies. He said he had better come back “when the man is around to sort this out”.”
I told him he wasn’t welcome back in MY house and I would take my business elsewhere.
Their follow up customer service call employee got a right earful when they rang a few days later to see if my husband and I had had any more thoughts on the matter.
Oh I had some thoughts….”
4. Talk to her.
“I was invited to a weekend away with a supplier to launch their new range.
My husband went with me and on the ‘order day’ the Financial Manager of the supplier came up to my husband and asked him what he thinks about the new range and what he is considering to buy.
My husband replied very dryly that he is only the plus 1 and that he must speak to me seeing that I am the one with the checkbook.”
5. Over here!
“When I was buying my house, I took my boyfriend with me to the viewing and realtor was talking mostly to him and even ended up calling him with bids on a house.
Yes, the house I purchased all on my own and is mine. I don’t take myself too seriously and I’m not easy to upset or embarrass, so I didn’t really care, I was riding high on a wave of winning a bidding war.”
6. Bad move, Pat.
“At work, I manage a few facility systems in our building (think air handlers, water purification, etc.) I was meeting a new vendor (let’s call him “Pat”) that was servicing one of the systems I was overseeing.
Pat had already met the facilities engineer (also a man), so this coworker was introducing me to him. Instead of talking directly to me, Pat turned to my coworker after shaking my hand and asked him, “and what does she do here?”
A few weeks later, he had the unpleasant opportunity to learn that I’m the one who calls him when his company falls through and doesn’t deliver. Needless to say, I was not overly polite about it when Pat failed to do his job.”
7. Story about Mom.
“Happened to my mom when we went to look at colleges.
The admissions guy opened by shaking my dads hand, constantly directed questions at my dad, and would look to him for confirmation whenever my mom said something.
My mom is defacto the money person of our family unit. She manages the family finances and investments and stuff, and was way way way more qualified to comment on things like student loans or expected contribution.
When we left that meeting she was absolutely furious that she had to basically fight the admissions person to have a normal conversation.”
8. House hunting.
“25 years ago my husband and I are looking for our first house. He had just graduated and still had student debt. I had been practicing law and had 20k saved for the downpayment.
Real estate agent only spoke to husband, even if I asked the questions. In one house we went to look at the basement and the guy says “you don’t want to go there. It has spiders.” I told my husband I wouldn’t ever buy a house from him. Later the guy ran for office and I told everyone the story including a woman that called me randomly to promote his candidacy.
Turns out she was his mother. It’s a small thing but indicative of his attitude toward ” the fairer s*x”.”
9. Out shopping.
“My husband and I were buying a new mattress.
It was a joint decision on the feel of it, but my decision for the price-point/warranty/etc because I was paying for it. In other words, all the stuff we actually needed the salesperson for.
Salesperson was a fine guy, old-fashioned, not overtly rude, but he was definitely talking to my husband more than to me (the one with the money to pay). I noticed but, eh, I’m used to it, I was going to get my info and pay the man. Whatever.
My husband, bless him, wandered away all floaty, like he’d never seen a furniture store before (weird, but ok). Then he came back and said, “Hey, can I have some money? I’m going to go check out the (insert dumb little decorative thing in the other part of the store).”
I was weirded out because I have never seen him care about a lamp enough to go examine it on his own and also we don’t… we don’t do that? But yeah, I said, sure, and handed him some cash.
The salesman IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to my husband. Suddenly, in his mind, I was wearing all the pants. He started asking me what I did for a living, etc and I was able to negotiate for a slightly lower price.
I love my husband so much. He knew exactly what he was doing.”
10. Landscaper.
“My husband and I had our backyard completely dug up and re-landscaped when we bought our house.
The landscaper was an older guy, probably around my dad’s age, and my husband and I are pretty young to be homeowners, so I could kinda understand this dude’s condescending attitude. When he came over the first time to do the estimate he almost exclusively addressed my husband even though I’d made it clear I was the one who was doing the designing and knew what I wanted done.
When the work was done and I paid him, he kept looking behind me for my husband and almost didn’t give me the aftercare instructions for the new sod, saying he wanted to make sure it was done right so he’d email them to my husband. I finally snapped, “Give me the d*mn piece of paper, Bruce! I’m the one who will be home during the day to do the d*mn thing!” (I worked nights at the time).
He reluctantly handed it over and called my husband the next day to make sure the lawn got watered. My husband told him, “You’d have to ask her, Bruce. She told you she’d do the d*mn thing” and hung up.
I had, indeed, done the d*mn thing.”
11. Worth it.
“This August I bought a new truck and took my boyfriend with.
He is white and I am Mexican, we arrived at the dealership and I asked about the explorer they had front and center. Salesman comes over and is asking a bunch of questions to my bf. He told him its for me. I was ignored for the entire conversation. I got up and started looking at the truck. A Hispanic Salesman comes and asks me if I need help.
I was out of there within 1.5 hours keys in hand. Found my bf with the other salesman. I looked at bf and said I bought the one I wanted Manny G got me squared away.
The look of utter disappointment and anger on the guys face was worth it. My bf chuckled and told said “I told you she was the one buying.” Manny you were great.”
12. Jeez.
“I was buying a new sports car.
My husband and I walk into the dealership and the sales guy walks up holding his hand out to shake my husband’s hand and asks how he can help.
My husband says “she’s buying, not me”. Sales guy glances at me and says to my husband, “Well, it’s not just her decision, right?”.
We left and I bought my new sports car elsewhere. F*cking *sshole.”
13. Ugh!
“I have a chronic pain disease that runs in the family.
I noticed that my father and male relatives had no problems securing pain meds, but that my doctors would never give me any, despite clearly indicating how much pain I was in.
So I started bringing either my father or my husband to my medical appointments (which is hugely intrusive), would have them repeat how much pain I was in, and low and behold suddenly I get pain medication.”
14. That’s weird.
“When I had my appendix taken out, I asked my doctor when s*x would be OK again.
He turned to my husband and said whenever you feel ready, you can begin s*xual relations again. I don’t know if he was uncomfortable talking to me about it, or was deferring to what my husband would prefer.
Either way, it was strange.”
15. Issues.
“I have issues constantly when going out to eat with my boyfriend. They always put the bill down directly in front of him no matter what.
Even when I reach across the table to grab it and put my card in, they almost always put the check back down in front of him after swiping the card.
They will often turn to him and thank him or tell him to have a great evening or which copy to sign. It’s infuriating.”
16. Really?
“Trying to collect a parcel from the post office that was addressed to both me and my husband.
Was told that my husband had to come to collect it. I asked whether they meant both of us had to be there and the response was no just him.
Needless to say I was not happy and after a while arguing they gave me the parcel.”
17. Thank you for your service.
“I’m an army veteran.
My debit card is with a military affiliated bank. Every time I pay for dinner at a restaurant they bring it back, set it in front of my husband and say “thank you for your service.” My husband was never in the military. The card has my name on it, and sometimes they even watched me pull it out of my bag!
I have also been by myself somewhere, paid for something with the card, and had the person see the card, look at me and say “oh, was your husband or dad in the military?”
Ummmmmm, no, no they were not. I was. Thank you.”
18. Listen, I know my cars.
“Needed a new car and went by myself to check some places out.
Was patently ignored despite being seen by more than one salesman. Had to take my husband with me, whom they did talk to.
I took auto mechanics for 2 years, my husband knows nothing.”
19. Don’t come back!
“We wanted a fence around our house.
I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc. He and I agree on terms up front and then I make decisions from there. It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does: I make more than my husband.
A man came over to give an estimate during a workday. I was ready to sign the papers and he said, “I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it”.
I asked him to leave my property and never come back.”
20. I can pay for that.
“All the time, every time we go out, to eat or shop. Restaurants, car dealerships, stores.
Even when the items are obviously mine – like the shoes I bought today, the salesman went to the counter and stood around waiting for my husband, who was at the back of the store, to ring the items up, while I’m standing right in front of him. I had to tell him that I’m paying for my own d*mn shoes!
And even when I pay they hand the card or change and receipt to my husband who just stares at them with exasperation while he hands it over to me.”
21. Infuriating.
“Auto repair. Happens a lot
. One time I described the problem to the guy at the desk as a clicking when I turned the key and asked it they’d check the timing belt. They said I’d have to leave it so my husband arrived ten minutes later to pick me up. The mechanic came out and asked him what was going on with the car, never looking at me.
I finally asked if he’d checked the timing belts as I’d asked the guy at the desk to do. He had not. Gotta say mad turned to cocky when it turned out to be the timing belt.”
22. Oh my…
“I’m a female business owner with a male business partner.
I’ve had a few customers born in the dark ages and reps that ask to “speak to my boss” but the worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to “put the kettle on girly”.
Needless to say he didn’t get his cuppa and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for.”
23. There’s a guy!
“A guy friend I happened to have around when a joiner came to fix something in MY home.
I welcomed the joiner in, started talking to him about the issue, then he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him.
He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home.”
24. You’re hysterical!
“When I was a baby for some reason I wouldn’t “latch on” when my mother breast fed me, so I wasn’t eating well.
The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was “too hysterical”…
He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like…”
Ladies, have you had any experiences like this?
If so, tell us your stories in the comments.
We can’t wait to hear from you!
