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25 Parents Discuss the Funniest “Child-Rearing” Advice They’ve Heard From Childless People

You know what I think is pretty stupid?

People who sound off about things that they don’t know anything about!

It drives me crazy!

And I think that people who don’t have children should never give parents any kind of advice in that area.

Have you ever been given ridiculous parenting advice from people WITH NO KIDS?

Here’s how parents on AskReddit responded.

1. I don’t think so.

“When I was pregnant I couldn’t sleep wel because every position was uncomfortable (I also have arthritis).

A friend said: “You probably cannot wait to give birth so you can catch up on some sleep!””

2. Good luck!

“My favorite is always, “when we have kids it won’t change our lifestyle at all. We will just bring the kids wherever we go!”

Hahahahaha!”

3. Now he knows.

“When working on our baby shower registry my husband couldn’t understand the need for, 1. Strollers (“I’ll just carry my babies”) and 2. Baby monitors (“if my babies cry I’ll just go check on them”).

What makes it even funnier is that we were having twins.

He now sees the error in his ways.”

4. I’m gonna need more time than that.

“My favorite is when friends used to hit me up at like 7 at night asking me to come out THAT NIGHT.

And would then be shocked I couldn’t just “get someone to watch the baby”.

Now they just never ask lol actually come to think of it…now I just don’t have friends.”

5. Really?

“My sister, who has no children, visited once and scolded me for letting my children take the couch cushions off the couch and make a fort.

I was thinking…seriously?

That is like the last thing I am worried about having 3 kids under 7.”

6. The one that thankfully got away.

“This one was from my ex who I should have know would be a terrible parent.

In the hospital, I just had a baby and was struggling to breast feed. I went to the washroom and when I came out my ex was feeding my newborn applesauce. FREAKING APPLESAUCE. She was only hours old and 4 weeks premature.

Also he told me that I needed to wait for my 5 month old to calm down and self sooth before I fed her her bottle because when a baby cries when they are hungry that’s how they manipulate the parents.

God I hate him.”

7. Okay…

“I always love it when people suggest something that boils down to “just try and reason with them”.

I’m like, there’s no point in trying to make any kind of rational argument with a young kid especially one that is in the middle of a tantrum. Kids have big emotions over things that to an adult seem silly, but to them, it’s huge.

You gotta wait it out. They’ll tire themselves out and when they do, you can have a little chat with them and ask them “do you think that was an appropriate level of anger because there was less ketchup on your hot dog than your brother’s?””

8. What a dummy.

“My 22 year old brother telling me that instead of nursing my baby while we are together because it weirds him out, I can pump enough beforehand and feed bottles and then baby will be good all day.

I explained that if I miss a nursing session then I would be really uncomfortable and have to pump during that time anyways so I usually only pump when I’m away from my baby.

Sorry kid.”

9. You learned the hard way, huh?

“A thing I said before I had kids. “I feel like parenting is easier than most people make it out to be.”

Said to my old boss with 2 kids.

She laughed so hard she almost peed herself and then put that quote on her bulletin board to remind me when I had kids.”

10. You got this!

“When I was on maternity leave, my boss at the time called to ask me if I can write an article for our website.

My baby was 2 months at the time, latched to my bo*b permanently and crying inconsolably whenever not either breastfeeding or being rocked.

When I told my boss I have to hold her all the time, the response was: “Ok, so hold her with one hand and type with the other one.””

11. Uhhhh…

“I was getting a passport when my daughter was 3 weeks old.

I was getting one for her too, and the man said that I couldn’t hold her, that she needed to sit up on her own. Mind you, my baby was also a month early and at 3 weeks she weighed 6 pounds and was 18 inches.

He literally argued with me that I couldn’t hold her for the picture, and stormed off to get a manager. How the heck is a preemie 3 week old going to sit up for her pictures ??”

12. Mind control.

“While I was pregnant I was spending some time with a friend who had no children yet.

At one point I realized my baby hadn’t moved as much as normal and I voiced my concerns to my friend saying I might need to go and get checked over. She said “Can’t you just tell the baby to move with your mind?”

Like she thought babies and mothers are somehow telepathically linked and genuinely thought that I could make that happen. I couldn’t help but burst into laughter and then my baby started kicking away again.

He must have found it funny too!”

13. Not gonna happen.

“”It’ll be fun, you can just get a babysitter!”

Yeah, let me get right on finding a babysitter on 3 hours notice so I can leave my bottle-refusing 2 month old baby to come to a concert that starts at 11pm.”

14. What a jerk.

“I was pregnant at the time and working in a kitchen.

My general manager caught me sitting down while prepping some potatoes for service and said “It must be nice to get to laze around whenever you want”.

It took all of my will to not say something snarky.  He did get fired 3 weeks later for a non related incident. Karma is a b*tch.”

15. Nope.

“I love the ones that say if a 2-year-old throws a tantrum in public that means the parents are bad parents.

Or people who think parents should have some magical ability to prevent babies from crying on planes.”

16. No point in that.

“A childless friend couldn’t understand why my 2 year old wasn’t wearing any clothes in the house.

“Isn’t he cold? Why don’t you just dress him?”

Because he will be undressed again within 60 seconds there is absolutely no point in dressing him.”

17. Not easy at all.

“My friend who is child free, thinks it’s just easy and “not a big deal” to bring a new born-up to 12 month old to a large football game, tailgates, bars, breweries, etc. (this was pre covid).

NONE of that is easy. Babies have scheduled. Toddlers have schedules.

They don’t just come along and not make noise for hours at events while the parent has fun!”

18. Totally the same.

“A friend told me very confidently that babies were “exactly like puppies”.

I can see the similarities, but I think the whole waiting around a year for human babies to walk is one pretty major difference.”

19. Sounds like a great idea.

“SIL is very big on free range parenting but believes a 4 or 5 year old should be able to find and ride the subway in NYC by themselves and essentially just roam.

Curious if she will change her tune when she has kids.”

20. No one is sleeping here.

“Once a friend said to me, the mother of a newborn, “it must be nice to sleep in all the time!”.

Like yeah, if sleeping in means waking up 7 times a night.”

21. Not a chance.

“”You can just put the carseat in my car.”

Nope. I spent 2 hours putting that thing in. It is never coming out.

We are taking my car or not going.”

22. Now you know.

“I thought having twins would be the ultimate deal, get it out of the way and done.

Then I actually had twins.

I got served such a big piece of humble pie.”

23. Good luck with that.

“I had a coworker who was struggling to pass the CFA exams.

She suggested that she might find the time to study by adopting a child and taking advantage of maternity leave.

She did not, in fact, do this.”

24. Yes, you will.

“My friend said that SHE would NEVER allow her kids to watch the ipad.

I am so proud of myself for never mentioning that after her two crazy boys became ipad addicted at ages 3 and 5.”

25. You live in a fantasy world.

“My (childless) sister informed me that her future kids won’t ever watch the Frozen franchise.

I laughed and laughed and laughed some more.”

Have you ever heard people with no kids make uninformed and ridiculous comments?

If so, tell us all about it in the comments.

Please and thank you!