Sadly, I think we all have a jerk or two in our lives that we can’t shake for one reason or another – and if even you’re lucky enough to avoid that scenario, there’s no way you’ve avoided jerks entirely for the whole of your life.
Which means you’ve listened to more than a few of them talk, and listen – they tend to say things along similar lines.
These 25 people are sharing some of the phrases they’ve heard jerks say most often, so listen up – and run the other way the next time you hear one of these uttered.
25. It’s not an apology.
“Just saying” (after saying something completely inappropriate, ignorant, or unintelligently giving their personal take on a controversial trend they know little to nothing about)
“Don’t be a beta, be an alpha”
24. Spot on.
Do you know who I am??? My dad owns a dealership!
God aqua teen hunger force had that one spot on. I knew three kids in high school whose dad’s owned car dealerships all assholes. I wonder if in order to open a dealership does the car companies ask about the kids.
Like I can imagine one guy who is looking to open a Toyota dealership. Toyota asks “oh you have a son how is he liking school. The potential franchisee says “oh my son he volunteers at the homeless shelter on Saturdays and helps new kids when they have their first days in school”.
Toyota responds ” sorry sir if your son was a sexually aggressive homophobe with a dwi we would consider you but sorry it’s not going to work out.”
23. Turn it back around.
“Do you know who I am?!”
No…and if you have to tell me who you are, then clearly you aren’t important enough
22. It is confusing.
asks you why something happened
“Don’t give me excuses”
Like if your late to work or something and someone says why were you late. Well my explanation is that there was a car accident.
Then they follow up with no excuses.
21. These all boil my blood.
“Don’t be so sensitive!”
“It’s for your own good.”
“You’ll thank me for this someday.”
20. Speaking of excuses.
When you call someone out on their toxic behavior and they respond with…
“That’s just the way I am.”
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
19. When do we see the best, exactly?
If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.
18. It makes your blood boil.
“You’ll change your mind.” It’s so fucking dismissive and annoying.
Especially in regards to having children. If someone in their mid-20s tells you they don’t plan on having any children in their life, you don’t get to decide that they are wrong.
17. Thanks for the warning.
One of my exes big threats to me when we split up was that he was an Alpha and I would never be able to find another Alpha like him. Just lower tier men.
Basically if he was the definition of Alpha, I never want to date an Alpha again.
16. Because of course they know.
“ I tell it how it is” and often the people who say this, can’t be told how it is!
The thing that bugs me the most about this is that the person who tells it how it is operates under the arrogant assumption that they know how it is in the first place.
There’s no questioning their assumptions or changing their world view, because they take it as written in stone that they know how the world works.
15. Also the worst sort of parents.
“Because I can.” After being asked “why?”
14. They won’t believe you.
I’m an Alpha. Or anything related to it.
Tell them “calling yourself an alpha is the most beta thing you can do”.
Easier than explaining A) humans aren’t wolves and B) normal wolf packs also don’t work that way.
13. Maybe there’s no respect due?
With all due respect proceeds to be massively disrespectful.
12. I think we all know who is most likely to say that.
“Don’t you know that the customer’s always right?”
11. Can’t you take a joke?
“i’m just kidding” “it was just a joke” “relax” “i didn’t mean it”
10. There is only one truth.
Yep if everyone is living “their truth” doesn’t leave much room for THE ACTUAL TRUTH
9. All the entitlement.
“The customer is always right”, “You’ve just lost a customer”, “I need to speak to your manager”, “give me corporate’s number”
Like, how entitled do you have to be to actually believe half this shit is going to work in your favor? The most we ever got when someone called corporate on us was a “try not to piss off customers”.
A slap on the wrist. Literally, the only thing that this kind of s*%t does is make you look like an a$$hole.
8. And also an actual judge.
“Only god can judge me” And “If you cant handle me at my worst…”
You get to judge. You get to judge. You get to judge. WE ALL GET TO JUDGE!
And we all judge, I don’t care how many people deny it.
“I don’t judge.”
7. Like we couldn’t figure that out on our own.
Sorry, not sorry.
6. Prepare yourself.
I’m brutally honest.
The people that say that are often times more interested in brutality than honesty.
5. No matter what you say.
You tell them about something that you’re going through and they reply with “I’ve been through worse.”
4. In a totally rude way.
I just call it as I see it.
3. Oooh that last one though.
“It’s just a joke.” “Don’t get your panties in a bunch” “Someone’s on their period.”
2. An important distinction.
If you’re “just honest,” and you say everything you think, then logically sometimes you should say positive, kind things because surely 100% of your thoughts aren’t mean and nasty, right?
If all you think are mean, nasty things, then you are brutally honest…about what an asshole you are.
1. Nothing to laugh about.
“I can’t say that these days or I’ll have to go to HR!” (Laughs)
This one is constantly said by the owner of the company I work for, after he says something sexist or flirtatious to a female staff member.
I’d say these are definitely glaring red flags, wouldn’t you?
If there’s something else you think belongs on this list, drop it in the comments!