I don’t have children, but some of my friends have daughters and I already feel sorry for the guys who are going to date them when they are teenagers…because they have no idea what they’re in for.
Because these guys are kind of intimidating and they are really gonna scare these young men…and I hope they film these interactions so I can enjoy them, too!
Dads were asked to talk about their daughters’ worst boyfriends…
And here’s what guys on AskReddit had to say.
1. Not my daughter…
“My daughter is 15 and was going out with a young fella who was 16. They would frequently argue about her friends because he was jealous, I tolerated until she started not socialising with her friends then I had a word with him.
Told him that if he could not accept she was her own person without trying to control her to combat his own insecurity then I would put a stop to him spending any time with her. He seemed to listen.
Fast forward a week or two. She was all excited because they were going to the beach and would get to play on someone’s JetSki. She came back into the house a few hours later shaken and in tears, said he had taken her a few hundred metres off shore on the JetSki, started yelling at her, calling her a slut and then pushed her off threatening to leave her there.
Yeah. So I went down to his house and spoke to his parents. Told them that I wasn’t going to deal with him because, well, you know. Said that they needed to deal with him and if he contacted her again I was going to the cops.
Turns out, Samoans mums and dads take that sort of thing pretty seriously. He turned up with his dad who told me the mum had taken the jandal to him… basically spanked her 16 year old after tearing a shred out of him in front of the family.
He was made to apologize to me, my wife and my daughter and promised to stay away. The dad told me to let him know directly if he didn’t keep that promise.
I almost felt sorry for the little sh*t but, nah, not my daughter buddy.”
2. Don’t like any of them.
“So far, I’ve hated them all.
She is only 16 and has only really had 3 boyfriends, none serious.”
3. Good for nothing.
“This one little sh*t was a total good for nothing.
No job (in fact never had a job) and spent his days sitting watching TV. They were officially a couple for about a year, though he didn’t take her out for a meal even once. I didn’t see it going anywhere – and thankfully it didn’t.”
4. You’re not going out with him.
“Guy comes rolling down the driveway on a ratted out, semi-bobbed Honda motorcycle with no baffles in the exhaust. He stood about 5’7” 120 lbs, wearing a leather vest, no shirt, biker chaps, and zero helmets on the bike.
I thought it had to be some kind of practical joke. His name was “Ace”. He told me this from behind much-too-large aviators. Cocky little b*stard.
He attempts to fist bump me at the door, calls me “dude” and calls my 18-year-old daughter “sweet t*ts” when she walked out of the house.
Guess who stayed home and watched movies with Daddy that night?”
5. Get outta here.
“From the first I met him I really hated the condescending, arrogant, egotistical little pr*ck that suffered from short man syndrome.
So many stories, so little time. Here are the highlights:
He would scare the cat on purpose and when I told him to stop he said, “It’s just a cat.” Then he would do it again. Later that night after more acts of disrespect to me, my wife, and my daughter, I invited him to leave…forcibly. It took me several times of trying to open the door with his head before I realized the door opened inward. Silly me.
I allowed him to spend the night at my daughter’s request. We set him up in a spare bedroom. I explicitly told them both they were not to sleep together in my house because they were not married. When I couldn’t find him in the morning I knocked on her door, opened it, and there he was in bed with her. She said she told him “No” but that he got in bed with her anyway.
This little sh*t decided to install a door lock on my daughter’s bedroom door. In my house. I banned him from my house.
Many months later my daughter attempted to get us to reconcile. I agreed to meet with him for her sake. I tried to explain to him that regardless of what he thought about the rules in my house, they were just that; My house, my rules. And I told him that if he was going to come into my house he was going to respect my rules.
At one point he said, “I don’t have to sit here and listen to a lecture from you.” I said, “You’re right, get out.”
I kicked him out and never saw him again. They weren’t together for long after that.
My daughter is now married to a man that loves her and that I’m proud to call son in law.”
6. Total creep.
“The drug dealer I found in my basement, who I told publicly that if I found him within 10p yards of her again, I would give him a slow painful death.
21 years old chasing a 14 year old girl. I kicked him out of my house. I didn’t open the door. Best repair bill I ever paid. Set my reputation around here among the boys.”
7. Never mentioned that…
“There were several but the one who had a secret daughter that he never mentioned util the child support people came knocking was a shock to all concerned.
The guy had already been caught lying and I gave him the benefit of the doubt but when that sh*t landed I stood at the door of their house – on my daughters wishes – and waited until he’d packed his sh*t and escorted him off the premises.
Lots of empty threats and BS but he never showed his face again.”
8. Kissing your butt.
“The one that always went overboard with the sir b*llsh*t after he was told I was in the special forces.
It’s simple, I HAVE A F*CKING NAME AND I HAVNT BEEN IN SF FOR THREE YEARS.”
9. Not cool.
“I had been saving a mango for days waiting for that perfect ripeness.
Almost ate it one evening but decided that one more night would be perfect. The following day my daughter’s asshole then-boyfriend decided to eat that perfectly ripe mango before I came home from work.
Never forgave him! –Also he was an entitled jerk in many other ways!”
“The one who became her first husband because I knew his parents and that spousal abuse is a learned behaviour.”
11. Mental abuse.
“I still hate that guy that mentally abused her.
The guy that didn’t want her to show her tattoo ( small one that says survivor on her lower arm) because it didn’t fit in the class he wanted to be in. The guy that didn’t want her to cosplay because it was either too childish or softp**n. The guy that didn’t want her gothic clothing because it wasn’t fitting to his circles.
The guy that didnot want her to see her best friends and didnot want her to come along to the parties of his friends. The guy that always compared her to his female friends. The guy that gave her psychologic problems that caused her to have problems studying wich caused her dropping out of university. Yeah, I still hate that guy.
Luckily with all the support from us, her current boyfriend and a very good psychiatrist she is overcoming her anxieties and insecureties. Last month she graduated as a certified nurse working with elderly people with alzheimers.
I am so freaking proud of her.”
12. With a passion…
“My middle kids boyfriend. I hate him with a passion. She’s made so many bad choices while with him (I know her choices I should blame her and I do) and he encourages them. They abuse drugs together etc. it’s a mess.
And he’s just a jerk (tried to pick up on my youngest while she was a minor). I know her problems won’t go away even if he was gone, but good lord do I just want him to go away.”
13. A confused young man.
“Our daughter’s first boyfriend was a confused young man, nice enough guy, but later events somewhat explained his behaviour. On a Friday night if they had a date she would be excited all week, rush home to get ready and then from 30 minutes before the time he said he would pick her up, she’d sit on the couch and look out the window in anticipation.
He worked at a mall kiosk and had a sh*tty car, but he was good looking, popular and he was her world. But, for every date he would call her, often just 5 minutes before the pickup time and say he was going to be an hour late because of work.
Then he would do it again an hour later, and then again. Our kid was trying to be understanding and not get mad, but you could just see the disappointment wash over her each time, and her enthusiasm deflate out of her.
The last part of the d*ck move was to call her one last time and say he couldn’t make it at all, and then show up 5 minutes later to a Hero’s welcome.
Our daughter would be so overjoyed at seeing him, albeit often 4 hours late, that she would just forgive him. I thought it was a d*ck move and was emotional manipulation, and I called him out on one day, but he played dumb.
The relationship ran its course in a few weeks, as young love does, and we didn’t see him again. We did hear through the grapevine that after the relationship with our daughter ended, he changed teams.
That was actually his challenge all along, he didn’t want to spend time with our daughter because he didn’t like girls, but he was trying to fulfill societies expectations.”
14. The rules.
“I mostly of hate all of them, I’m old and of course, its not that i don’t understand their generation, it’s them, and i stand by it.
But it’s not up to me. I’ve always been very open about the fact that I only care about how they treat her. It doesn’t matter how I relate with them.
That being said, I’ll stab a kid if he doesn’t treat her properly.”
15. The first one.
“Her first high school boyfriend.
I saw the texts between them, he was pressuring her to have s*x with him and demeaning her so, I picked up the phone when he called one day and without saying anything to him at all he had an attitude problem with me.
I told him he needed to check his attitude with me and treat my daughter with respect. He promptly told me verbatim to “go f*ck myself” and then dared me to do anything about it.”
16. Not a fan.
“The first one. She’s had two, him and the current one who’s a nice guy (other than we absolutely don’t agree on politics, but hey).
I “didn’t know” about the first one. Her mum told me about him as he was actually someone I taught. So I had to see him several times a week while I just _know_ he was lording it up at me “not knowing” he was seeing my little girl (by little, I mean 17/18).
I never got to give him the “treat her well” speech because of this. And he didn’t. Dumping her was the best thing he did for her, though.”
17. A toss-up.
“It was a toss-up between emo-boy whose kept his hair in front of his eyes and spoke in morose monosyllables and overly groomed guy who messed around and broke her heart.
Broke up with her by text. He hadn’t had a great life since, so maybe karma really happens – or maybe just being a jerk sets you up for an unhappy life.”
18. THIS ONE.
“Her current (and first) one. She’s 16 and “in love” and I’m trying to be supportive but this boy is a complete idiot.
He frequently blows her off to play video games, is never on time when they’re supposed to meet up (by like hours) and just doesn’t seem to appreciate her or her time.
I’ve told her this multiple times, and have subtly suggested maybe they should take “a break” but they’re still together.”
19. At least she’s onto him…
“Branden, her first boyfriend, is the biggest dipsh*t I’ve ever met. It’s not even a generational thing, I’m pretty sure I’d hate him if I was fifteen.
Every time he’s come to pick her up he’s been late. And he doesn’t even send a “running late” text, he just shows up thirty minutes later than planned, they’ve missed at least one movie because of this.
I thought it was a blessing initially because she isn’t on her phone nearly as much, it turns out he just ghosts her all day and then keeps her up all night to talk.
I would have loved to have that level of communication at their age.
She’s onto him, she keeps saying she wants to break up with him but I think she just wants to do it in a nice way.”
20. What is this thing?
“This one time, my daughter brought home a young man for dinner.
He claimed to not know what a potato was. Like REALLY?
Has he never eaten french fries in his life?”
21. Get lost.
“This little sh*t who would regurgitate the most hateful, primarily right wing, talking points.
I remember after Hurricane Maria his older (college age) sister planned a trip to Puerto Rico to assist with the clean up and recovery. He was furious at her for being such a bleeding heart.
He would rant about it. I mean those people are suffering and not that it’s super relevant to my point, but might matter to his view, they’re suffering Americans. That’s just one example.
I always found it disturbing that a 16 year old was so entrenched in such a myopic view of the world. No curiosity, no humility.”
22. A loser.
“The one that only dated her to get in her pants.
He brought nothing to the table but a pen*s.”
23. A real keeper.
“He was a recovering drug addict, out of juvy 19 years old and she was 17 but it was when he said he wanted to be a youtube influencer I wanted throw his *ss out.
Oh but it gets better he sits at my table eating dinner telling my daughter what she can and can’t do with her hair etc…
I think the look on my face would have been enough but nope they didn’t break up until his ex got out of juvy and they got back on the drugs and called her up high to abuse her over the phone.”
24. All the bad stuff.
“He was arrogant, condescending, lazy and broke, and for some reason she loved him.
He would make her buy him food. He was the inspiration for buying her a car with a stick shift. I thought then he would not try to drive it. The idea backfired and he made her drive him around all the time.
It took everything she had to get up the courage to finally dump him after being cheated on. Now she is about to graduate from a university and has a decent boyfriend.
He is pushing carts at the king Soopers I shop at. I love it.”
25. Gotta dump this guy.
“The current one, although the previous one wasn’t great either.
Besides blaming my daughter for him asking other girls for nudes (we were at Disney World at the time and don’t live in Florida), he’s also showing violent tendencies like punching his phone until it was smashed and his knuckles were bloody.
Then, he decided to make a facebook post: “Now that all the pride bullsh*t is over, you BLM and LGBTQ need to get out of the way so we can celebrate the Veterans that defended our country on their holiday. ”
We have trans and pansexual family members, one of which my daughter is extremely close to. My mother in law said that he would not be allowed at their family functions if he keeps talking like that, which devolved into his entire family proving their racism and hate.
Unfortunately, she has not decided to dump him yet.”
26. Hey o!
“So when my daughter had her first boyfriend and I met him I said “so you’re the b*stard who took my daughters virginity!”
He replied: “sorry sir , I promise it won’t happen again”.”
Now we want to hear from other dads out there!
In the comments, tell us about the bad dates your own kids have had.
We look forward to hearing from you!