I’m going to give you 1 guess what most of these AskReddit stories are about.
Did you guess the naughty side of the internet? NAILED IT (lol). Lessons to take away from this: clear your browser history. Also, learn to use private browsing. We’ve all got weird personal stuff, so let’s just agree that for the successful functioning of the social compact, we should keep it personal, right? Good.
But a lot of these stories are pretty funny, in an awkward, American Pie sort of way. Read on, playa:
1. Tech Repairman
I used to work for Nokia And Samsung doing mobile phone repairs and some of the stuff I’ve seen has blown my mind, one of my favourites was when a dad brought in his daughters Nokia windows phone and while holding it a text preview came up from a young man saying “God I can’t wait to see your big boobs”
The fathers reaction was priceless he just gritted his teeth let us do what we had to do and left, I can only imagine the bollocking she got when he got home.
2. More than you bargained for…
So when I was a kid, my dad locked me out of most of the internet with parental controls.
I got mad at him and installed a key logger onto our computer so I could steal his password and go into account settings and change my privileges.
I got his password, along with a bunch of love letters he was writing to a woman he was cheating on my mom with.
3. It goes both ways
As a prying child looking for confiscated video games I discovered my mom hides my gameboy way better than she hides her strap-on.
4. P*rn. P*rnp*rnp*rn.
That my then-14 year old stepdaughter had a thing for anime p*rn.
I mean, hey…do your Naruto and Pikachu thing. But dang – you’re the daughter of two IT parents. Delete your browser history!
5. “She settled on honesty…”
My 5-year-old daughter was riding in the back seat autobabbling away. Eventually she said, “Daddy, I don’t think you know this, but when I was young, I used to pick up little bits of things off the floor and put them in my mouth.”
“Really? What kind of things, sweetie?”
“Pieces of paper, fuzzies, things like that.”
A thoughtful look crossed her face, like she was trying to make a really difficult decision that would determine her fate.
Finally she settled on honesty and said:
“…and I definitely ate a flower once.”
6. “It opened up the dialogue even more”
We adopted one of our kids and he is biracial, while the rest of the family is white.
Back when he was in 2nd grade, I found a writing assignment that the kids had to do. They essentially had to write three things they would wish for if they had a genie. One of the things he wrote was “I wish I was white.”
That really hit me hard. I thought we had done ‘enough’ to incorporate his racial/cultural background. It wasn’t something we just ignored. It hurt to see that he didn’t want to be who he was and that we had something to do with that. I hated that he felt that way and I hated that I found it.
In hindsight, however, I am glad I found it. It opened up the dialogue even more and our son reveled that he wanted to move somewhere where he wasn’t one of the only black kids. We did end up moving to a much more diverse area a few years later and I love it here.
My son is now in middle school and is pretty comfortable talking about racial identity. As much as it hurt finding the paper, I think it was beneficial to get it out in the open.
7. Killin’ it, grandma
My kids aren’t quite old enough to ruin my view of their innocence yet, but when I was a kid my grandma found my rather hefty p*rn stash under the bathroom counter one day while cleaning. (had my own small bathroom at the time)
Got really embarrassed about it until I realized that she just straightened them out into a neat stack and never said a word about it to me to this day. Hell of an old lady.
8. Tech Repairman II
Wasn’t my child but I used to work in a phone shop and I was transferring this kids photos to his new phone. It was the first of that model I sold and little did I know it had a pre installed app that showed a ‘gallery’ on the second homepage after you swiped right, I was explaining how to use it and the default image the gallery function decided to select was a fully frontal nude photo of this poor kid’s junk.
9. Always knock. Always.
Not a parent, but when I was about 15 and in the process of f*pping my mom came into my room without knocking, I was so shocked and at a loss for words, all I could say in reaction was:
All I could say in reaction was: “I’m just checking if it works!”, not sure how that could have changed the situation in any way.
Needless to say she always knocked before coming into my room after that little incident.
10. Perfect Timing
My friends Dad walks into him watching p*rn and he accidentally clicked a gay p*rn advertisement. His dad awkwardly closed the door and will forever think his son is secretly gay.
11. Shower Banana
I was once really hungry, so I ate a banana in the shower and threw the banana peel on the shower floor.
Dad found it later and asked me, quite angrily, what debauchery I was up to with a banana in the shower.
He probably thought I was shoving it up my butt.
My mother “accidentally” found my brother’s dope plants in a house he and I shared when she “popped round for a visit” while we were out. Her line was that she went to put something away and – lo and behold – it just happened to be the cupboard my brother has stashed his plants in.
When I said it couldn’t have been an accident, as I’d placed a small piece of tape on all the cupboard doors in the house and every single one had been opened, she flew into a rage, carping on about how she couldn’t trust my brother and that’s why she had to check every cupboard. But more to the point, that my trick with the cupboards was a low and despicable act and I should be ashamed of myself.
So when I then explained that I’d lied, that I hadn’t put tape anywhere, but I appreciated her new honesty regarding snooping through the flat, things strangely didn’t get any better after that.
Actually found this out from a neighbor who frequented Omeegle (I believe that’s what it’s called, when you webcam chat with strangers) and apparently stumbled onto my daughter and her friend
Stumbled onto my daughter and her friend putting on a show…skin and all. I had no idea what to do…
14. P*rnp*rnp*rn II
Not really the prying type… But grabbed my 9 year old daughter’s tablet to show her how to get to her gmail inbox using her web browser.. Her email client was misbehaving.
There were like 7 open tabs of p*rn, and her web search history had a “boys peeing” search…
Shocked me and the wife, she’s 9. That was when we decided it was time for a bit of anatomical and reproduction info…
Which, of course, fell to me. My wife was thoroughly incapable.
15. P*rnp*rnp*rn III
Golden shower vids on p*rn in my 12 year old’s browser history.
16. Anatomy Lesson
Not a prying parent, but a prying kid. My father had a p*rn on the DVR and thought I was too young to know how to work it. Surprise surprise, I found it and had a major moment when I found out what a vagina looked like. I always thought women had penises too and gave birth through their butts. Shocking to say the least.
My younger brother found it later on, had a panic attack so bad he fainted.
17. P*rnp*rnp*rn IV
I was trying to take a picture on my nephew’s phone and discovered he had a taste for intense hentai.
18. They should teach incognito mode in school.
I’m not a prying parent, but I am a prying child.
I discovered the kind of p*rn my mom is into by seeing what windows she had open in her phone’s browser.
She now knows what incognito mode is.
19. Dirty Mags
While I never pried, I was placing clean laundry into my son’s dresser drawers when I spied several hot lesbo p*rn magazines.
Problem was, they were mine. And I wasn’t yet out of the closet. And I was still married to his dad. Yeah.
My mum went in to my msn chat logs when I went to go live with my dad (I was not a savvy rebel, forgot to check ‘don’t save’) and found all my cybering, I was like 14.
She said it was way worse than the ‘I hate my parents’ type of stuff.
21. Serious Privacy Invasion
My very conservative mother opened my follow up letter from the abortion clinic. Rather than ask me about it she showed my boyfriend in private in an attempt to break us up.
22. Private. Browsing. Learn it.
I found out they don’t know how to use private browsing on the iPhone, all history saved, this disappointed me more than the actual history.
23. Everyone P*rnp*rnp*rns!
Used to torrent p*rn because that was all I knew to do. One day I open my torrent client and see it already downloading several kinky vids. I assume it’s just the client being spammy and gross, so I delete the files and proceed on to my vanilla multi gig downloads.
The next day my dad sits me down and says I should watch out for the upstairs computer because it “has been acting up” or something. Says he is aware it has downloaded some gross stuff, but he immediately says he knows it wasn’t me. His confidence that it wasn’t me surprises me, and that’s when I realize it was his. I guess he saw that somebody deleted the files and panicked thinking that I was judging him, so he had to come up with a story about how the computer does that stuff on its own so I would know it wasn’t him.
If he hadn’t said anything, that’s what I would have assumed.
24. LOL, come on man!
Well this is from my perspective, not my parents but i know it still probably was awkward. I have a habit of being too tired i fall asleep while enjoying some p*rn. Mom came in to wake me up, found me butt naked, face down, with p*rn playing on my phone.
25. Oof. That’s real rough.
My mum did find a letter I wrote to my boyfriend (before the days of internet and texting) where I described how I was going to give him a bl*w job.
Couldn’t look her in the eye for weeks, even tried to pass it off as English homework! I was fourteen at the time. Two decades later I still cringe when I remember it.
26. Why would you print p*rn??
My brother was trying to print out some p*rn pictures once, and the printer wasn’t working.
When my dad turned the computer on the next day, the picture immediately printed.
27. Home Not-So-Alone
This is about parents:
One time in high school I came home on a night where I had said I would be staying at a friends. Walked into the living room to see a p*rno on the 50″ TV screen. But they weren’t even watching, they were just chilling and playing cards on the coffee table while a girl blew some guy in the background.
I make ridiculous amounts of noise when I come in nowadays.
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You rock! Thanks for reading!