How we look at gender these days is interesting, and because we’re having all these discussions about what it means to be a man or a woman or fluid… it brings up the discussion about what kinds of things are expected of these genders… and how that’s nonsense.
I mean… boys play with dolls. Girls play with cars. I’ve seen it. I’ve DONE it. But for some reason, people get weird about it. Still to this day, they don’t like it. Why!?!?
These people share the things that they really don’t like about how genders are treated differently, and I can’t say I disagree.
1. For the Kids
Child custody.
I know some phenomenal fathers who only get limited visitation because mothers make the father look bad.
Dads very rarely win custody battles and I’ve seen kids get stuck with super sh**ty moms while their amazing father is left heartbroken.
2. Shame Shame!
FYI, I’m a few inches above 6 feet, but this for my under 6′ homies:
Girls on Tinder: I prefer guys 6’+ – NO EXCEPTIONS (unless you’re rich and a 20/10 hot)
Guys on Tinder: Perhaps a fit lady with tanned skin.
*World*: WHAT A F**KING INCEL, FAT SHAMING
3. No Girls?
I’m in a family of 4 boys. Every time we all go to the store or something like that, the cashier always says “Wow four boys… and no girls?” And after my mom says yes they always say “Oh I’m so sorry for you!!” But I’ve never heard that said about girls. It’s just rude.. like they’re trying to make us feel like a big burden because we’re boys.
(To be clear I dont think it should be said about all boys or all girls)
4. The Kid Quandary
When I (a woman) say that I never want kids I’m instantly hit with “you’ll change your mind” “that’s your purpose in life” “you’ll be lonely” “your maternal instinct will take over” but when a man says it it’s completely fine and acceptable 🙄
Obviously not all men and men still face this issue too, I’ve just noticed it’s more prominent when women say it.
5. S**less Marriage
The stupid stereotype that women stop wanting s** when they get married and neglect their poor suffering husbands.
It’s total bs. There are just as many women crying themselves to sleep at night after their husband has rejected them for the 5 millionth time. And there are also tons of happy marriages where both partners feel happy and fulfilled. Every single marriage doesn’t end with a frosty wife and a frustrated husband.
6. Same S** Relationships
Same s** relationships between women are not taken seriously, which is bad because they could be kissing their girlfriend and people will start pushing that they are “such good friends!” or “just showing off for the boys!” or “just haven’t found the right man yet!”
On the other hand, with men it is taken so seriously (and negatively) that straight men are afraid to even touch each other in any way that may be seen as gay (because apparently many of them think that’s the worst thing ever.) “Hugging? Dude that’s so gay!”
7. The Gifts That Don’t Keep On Giving
My grandma automatically assumes she knows exactly the perfect gifts for me just because I’m a girl.
I recently mentioned to her my dream car would be a black/silver Jeep Renegade (we were talking about how she wanted to buy me a car for my birthday, she didn’t though at my request). Her response? “Oh I would NEVER have gotten you something like that, it’s too boxy for a girl like you, and I just associate black and gray with boys, which you’re not.”
What in the actual f**k? I f**king H**E white cars.
I’m so pissed that she would try to spend a sh*t ton of money on a car without actually thinking of my preferences as a human being, and instead making general assumptions based off of the fact that I’m a girl. I still would have been grateful of ANY car she would have gotten me, but it still INFURIATES me that my first car could have been bought for me based on things like that.
I look forward to the day when I can buy my own car, and I can get one that represents who I am as a person and not just a girl.
8. Stalkers
Years ago I (guy) deposited money at the bank. The teller (girl) who I’d never seen before made small-talk like normal. I was very fit, classically good looking, and was enjoying single life very much so. So I leave.
I didn’t even get to my destination before I had a FB message from her saying she liked my smile and personality and wanted to go get a drink.
I was really uncomfortable so I just deleted it. When I got back and told my friends about it, all 7 unanimously went off about how I wouldn’t have cared if she was cute (spoiler: she was very cute) and how I need to stop being an a**hole. If I had carded a girl and remembered her name to stalk her on FB to ask her out I’d have been labeled super creepy and they’d have stopped talking to me.
But when a girl uses my bank info to find me I’m the a**hole because I was promiscuous at the time.
9. Clothing Standards
Girls have to watch what they wear just to go to school?
I get it if an outfit is really revealing or not age appropriate but I knew so many girls who got sent home because a bra strap was showing beneath a tank top or they had spaghetti straps in summer etc.
I got sent to detention for having 2 earrings in one ear once when the guy right next to me had the exact same i just happened to be in a skirt.
10. Any Violence Sucks
Female on male violence happens unbelievably frequently and it really f**king sucks.
As a man who was in an abusive relationship, f**k man, the fact that I had to defend myself before gives me unending anxiety because A. I feel like a monster, and B. I’m always terrified about what other people will think, especially new relationships.
It really really f**king hurts to know that I’m going to forever be the villain in some people’s mind because I couldn’t handle being hit, or kicked, or scratched anymore.
11. S**ism Isn’t Cool
S**ism in general.
A professional acquaintance of mine was complaining about being reported on Facebook for h**e speech for repeatedly talking about “killing all men”. 40+ comments were left supporting her and telling her to “keep fighting the good fight”. This was from a circle of people that I had until that moment thought reasonable. If I, as a penis owning individual, were to take issue with that, I would be told to f**k off and grow a thicker skin by most men and women I know.
If I, on the other hand, started red-pilling all over Facebook and talking about how all women should be killed, regardless of the reason, I would lose all of my jobs and all of my friends. These are not only conversations I have to deal with on social media, but at my f**king workplaces too.
Why the f**k is it okay for you to be terrifyingly s**ist if you have a vagina? Stop painting men with such a broad brush, because you’re hurting and scaring a lot of us.
12. Expertise
When a man is an expert in his field, he’s well respected. When a woman is the same she’s a bi**h and doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
I have spent the last 15 years running a piece software that I am one of only 3 experts in in my country, but when I explain to users how they’re breaking the software (after they’ve crashed it because they didn’t listen), I don’t know what I’m talking about & we should call the vendor. the vendor gets on the phone and asks why were calling, because I’ve been working with the software longer than the vendor’s entire tech support team.
13. Girl Gear Heads
I grew up overseas, in a country that doesn’t really encourage personal vehicles. We have a lot of public transport. As a result, my mechanical knowledge is extremely poor.
My white girlfriend, who grew up in the sticks, and who’s dad is a mechanic, has tinkered with cars all her life. Every time we walk to an auto parts store to get stuff, the employees never talk to her. Even if they ask me a question and she replies, they continue acting as if she doesn’t exist and keep talking to me. It’s unreal. It’s as if they don’t see her.
She’s gone to job interviews for mechanical jobs where the interviewer asks her very basic and belittling questions because they don’t believe she can understand mechanical stuff. Meanwhile up until last year when I met her I didn’t know what a ratchet was…
14. Because You’re a Girl
When I was a teenager, I was not allowed out of the house to walk to the local shopping center to hang with my friends (all male). My mom told me it was because I’m a girl and I’m way more likely to be attacked on my way and if I was a boy it’d be different.
In general since I was 12 up to now, when walking alone in public I was very frequently s**ually harassed and I’m not sure if the same thing happens to men.
15. Dads, Stop Doing This
Threatening your daughter’s boyfriend.
This is a double standard, but it’s also just a Hollywood trope that some dads think they’re supposed to do and it’s incredibly creepy.
When I was in high school at least a couple dads would say things like “just remember I know how to shoot” and “if you break her heart I’ll break you” etc.
Sometimes it’s just dads thinking they’re cute when they do this but I’ve received at least one legitimate threat by a dad thinking he was doing his dad duty.
Keep in mind that as a teenager I was very small and not at all in the “bad boys” clique, but if you are actually worried about your daughter’s boyfriend harming her, then don’t let her date them. Don’t just blanket threaten a bunch of minors.
16. Male Teachers
I am a female teacher.
I only know one man who is a kindergarten teacher, and people constantly make comments to him about how “women must love it that he is so good with kids” and he will be a great dad.
As if he is only in the job to impress women?
Nobody says this sh*t to me.
17. “Guy Work”
Not allowed to do “guy” work at work. As in, I can easily fix what is broken with some wrenches right now, but no, “male coworker x” will do it next week.
I got turned down for a job at the state park because it involved occasionally lifting 50lb bags and well, girls apparently can’t do that. (I move 300lb barrels at my job now) The state park did offer me a different job, working in the office, by myself, until 11pm. I was 16 at the time. But hey, office work is for girls, so that’s a better fit.
And if I do any of this super difficult guy work, I’m seen as some sort of butch lesbian, because regular straight girls can’t do that stuff.
18. Gal Violence
I’m a bar manager. The other night a girl bit and punched my security guard, I phoned the police who came in about 45 minutes and she was STILL there just waiting for them to show up (she could have simply left) and was screaming at us that we have no idea what it’s like to be a minority (true) and no idea what it’s like to be a woman (true) and no idea what it’s like to be the victim of s**ual assault (not true, and was also not relevant for that night).
She was not arrested, and no charges were laid after she literally bit another human being and was trespassing on our property, and seemed to be either on drugs she shouldn’t have been or needed drugs she wasn’t on.
My security guard was furious about the situation and said ‘if that was a guy, I would have fu**ing knocked him out long ago’.
I’m not advocating for women being hit for things that a man would be hit for, I’m saying that it’s very frustrating to see that the same patience and restrained wouldn’t be shown to a man who did the same things.
It’s a tough situation because I don’t think either gender gets treated well in that situation. Women are dismissed as crazy, men are simply hit and dismissed. There has to be something in between that works for both.
19. “Be a man!”
When I was a teenager, I worked with these two girls who were extremely s**ually aggressive- one who had a thing for me and her friend who egged her on.
When I finally made it clear I had no interest, I was hounded and called every name in the book for the rest of my time there, had my s**uality questioned daily, etc.
I finally complained to my manager, who responded with, and I will never forget this:
“Maybe she’ll stop being a b**ch if you man up and f**k her, you pu**y.”
Good times.
20. Great With Kids
Guy here. One double-standard that I’ve benefitted from but I still find very saddening: guys being praised as being “great with kids”… for doing the bare minimum.
I used to date someone who had a very young sister (around 7 years old when we started dating). I remember taking the three of us to see a Disney movie at the theater, I was holding the little sister’s hand while we were waiting in line, and a woman in line behind us, apropos of nothing, says to me: “I can tell you’re going to be a great dad.”
She didn’t say “I can tell you two are going to be great parents”. She just said it to me. For holding a kid’s hand to keep her from wandering off.
She was also wrong, I don’t want kids ever. But more to the point, it just made me sad that, apparently, the standards for being a “good parent” are so much lower for men than for women.
So much is expected of mothers. But apparently so little is expected of guys that any random schmuck can be declared a “good father” by accident.
21. Making Drinks
This one may be a little odd, but I’m a female bartender who works with one other woman and four other guys. For some reason it’s okay for men to “tease” us ladies when we make drinks, but I haven’t seen that happen to the guys I work with (it might happen too, but maybe not as often). I currently work at a country club, but I’ve worked at chain restaurants and dive bars too.
Its really frustrating to be busy and hear some condescending pick up lines about ‘how does someone like you know how to make -insert really basic drink here-‘ and its shocking the amount of people that want to give me pro-tips on pouring beer and whatnot. This obviously isn’t every guy out here doing this, but there has been at least one of these guys at each bar I’ve worked.
22. Style for Miles
Being stylish.
Jesus Christ I just want to look good and up to date, I don’t want to look like my father who has the same suit since the day I was born.
Just let me have nice clothes.
The problem is, when a man wants to be stylish/look good he is often called gay, but when women want that it’s all good.
23. Dress Codes Are Outdated
One I do not care for is dress code double standards.
I had a job where every day men had to wear a dress shirt (Had to be an actual dress shirt with a stiff collar, button-down collars were not allowed), tie, slacks and lace up shoes. You could not loosen your tie or unbutton your collar or roll up your sleeves, which I never minded honestly.
When clients visited of course it meant a full suit, a vest was strongly encouraged (Meaning you would hear about it in your next review if you didn’t wear a 3 piece suit for visits).
However, the women would wear short skirts, sandals and t-shirts.
Allow me to expand on this….
Dress codes are fu**ed for both men and women.
In a professional environment Men will boil in a collar & tie while women will freeze their asses off.
While it can be uncomfortable to wear a collar and tie for 9-12 hours a day, heels enter the chat and laugh, because nothing i worse then compulsory high heels for women, literal, measurable bone & cartilage damage.
Also, dress codes seem to be written for men, because it is easy for a man, the easiest, you know exactly what you are supposed to wear.
Telling a woman that a dress code is business casual is like giving them a 5x5x5 Rubik’s cube to solve on What the fuk does that even mean?!
So please, nobody take offense on anything regarding genders in this topic, it is screwed all the way around.
I say to fix it, drop gender specific clothing. I would love the freedom of saving 20 minutes by just slipping into a sheath dress instead of a full suit.
24. The Virgin Code
That men are encouraged to have s** starting young, and women are highly discouraged and told to stay virgins.
Not only is this making women feel shame for having very human s**ual feelings, it’s also forcing young men who may not be ready for s** to feel inferior if they don’t.
I grew up with the whole “be a virgin until marriage” mentality.
As a result, I have a horrible dating life because the idea of intimacy makes me anxious and ashamed.
25. Hair Hair Everywhere
Hair length.
I’m a guy and my hair is long as hell almost to my hips.
It’s not greasy or weird, it’s professionally kept but I’ve been told at multiple job interviews how unprofessional it is and I need to cut it.
Doubt they would ever tell a woman with a pixie cut that she needs to grow it out before getting a job.
Just weird.
26. Bromance
That women are the ones waiting for huge romantic gestures and men are the ones planning them.
Romance is alive and well, it’s just that men deserve to be treated to a picnic in the park every now and then too.
I think a lot of relationships would be a lot happier if women set up more romantic gestures in general.
27. I. Am. A. Parent.
“Oh so your baby sitting the children today?”.
No. I am the father. I am parenting, I am not a baby sitter.
Also, lucky enough it have a bit and girl, we let them play with whatever they like. My son loves playing with dolls as much as he does trains and my daughter loves dinosaurs as well as dressing up as a princess. The grandparents (all sides) seem to discourage anything they see is inappropriate for their gender.
I have intervened Inna number of occasions telling them all they are just kids, they will play with anything they find fun.
So friends, those were a few of the double standards that strangers on the internet wanted to share. Now we want to read yours!
Share those in the comments, fam!
