28 People Share Ridiculous Things They’ve Heard Overly Religious People Say

I’m not religious, but to each their own, right?

That’s my two cents about the whole thing.

But we all know some people don’t think that way.

Some religious people like to try to convert others to their cause and some even get positions in government and try to push their beliefs on others that way.

And some of them just say RIDICULOUS things…are you ready for this?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

1. Two things.

“Two instances come to mind.

I overheard an older lady talking with some friends after church once. She said, “I’m so worried about my granddaughter. She moved in with her boyfriend. How could she? She was such a good girl.”

Now, granted, I don’t exactly know any context or anything to this, but the way she said it made it sound like her granddaughter, who sounds like a decent human being, simply moved in with her boyfriend. And that was just the worst thing. Because they weren’t married. I guess they all talked about me like that when I did it.

Second thing: I was told that it is my Christian duty to bear my Christian husband kids after I said I didn’t really want them. I was 16. He was the new youth pastor. And we were at a lake just to have fun.

No sermons, no anything. Just a little church get together for some fellowship. He’s the reason that a little part of my not wanting to have kids is out of spite.”

2. Didn’t really work out that way.

“That if I didn’t accept Jesus as my savior I wouldn’t make it past the year.

I don’t know what he meant by that exactly, but this was 16 years ago.”

3. A bit extreme.

“That their own son was autistic because he wasn’t baptized in time.

And that my own nephew had ADD because he also isn’t baptized, despite you known s family history showing they and my side of the family have ADD, dyslexia, Autism, and so on.”

4. No evolution.

“You don’t see half ape-human hybrids, hence humans didn’t evolve from apes.

Explained to me by a religious uncle when I was 12.

I thought about it, and figured out that apes and humans evolved from a common ancestor, and that this evolution of intelligence is probably something that takes a few generations.

Also, I noticed a squirrel looking both ways before crossing a road in NYC once.”

5. Save yourself!

“It’s the end times






6. Jeez…

“Was at a funeral around 1990.

My secretary’s healthy 18 year old daughter (only child) died in her sleep after being discharged that evening from the emergency room with the “flu”.

The pastor officiating at the funeral said that she would be reunited with her daughter in the flesh in her lifetime because the situation in the Middle East was proof that the “end times” were coming.”

7. How many times have you heard this?

“At the funeral of my second cousin, who died suddenly at, I believe age 38, leaving his wife widowed, and his 4-year old son without a father.

One person said to the widow, “God has a plan, there’s a reason your son came to you so late.” I’m thinking, “ what, so that he can be left fatherless at age 4?””

8. White Jesus.

“Talking with a coworker at lunch how I thought I was funny Jesus is always white with blue eyes. When being middle eastern he would have been likely been dark skinned.

She looked at me and said ” My Jesus isn’t black””

9. It’s Eve’s fault.

“My in-laws actually arguing about why childbirth hurts.

He was yelling at his wife saying it’s because Eve ate the apple.

It was the most cringe moment of my life. Wanted to bang their heads together.”

10. Here comes the Hellfire.

“When my grandfather was literally on his deathbed, at the age of 63, his mother (yes, still alive and well at 90-something) was holding his hand, telling him to “prepare himself for hellfire and damnation” because he was an Episcopalian and she was a Catholic.

My grandfather “changed camps” for his late wife so they could get married. It was literally the most evil and absurd thing I’ve heard a person say to their own blood.”

11. Call an exorcist.

“My sister in law had a priest come bless her daughter’s room when she found out she had read Harry Potter.”

12. Moving on…

“I was in my town during a pride event, it was great, I would’ve taken part but I didn’t realize it was happening.

You probably already know where this is going.

The lady and her husband were yelling at a gay couple saying how they were sinners, I walked over to them and said “listen lady, you’re wearing jeans and a cotton jumper. Mixed fabrics is just as bad as being gay according to the bible so just let them live.” Her response? “We don’t have to listen to that part because times have moved on since then.”

Wha- ha- lady? So you’re saying god is still angry about gay people but not at clothes? Don’t f*cking cherry pick what you believe, believe all of the Old Testament or none of it.”

13. So crazy.

“”If you pray hard enough God will fix your arm.”

My limb won’t just grow back, bud.

Doesn’t work like that.”

14. Pray away the gay.

“My Gran is extremely religious and believes whole heartedly that she can ‘pray away the gay.’

She told me of a story of a man who went to their church, came out as gay and the whole church prayed away the gay and now he’s married to a woman and had 2 kids.

Poor guy.”

15. Terrible.

“That God took my wife to be with him because I as an atheist didn’t deserve to be happy without god in my life.

I promptly told that *sshole to get f*cked in front of my 1 & 1/2 year old and my 5 year old kids.”

16. Sounds like a real treat.

“My friend’s mom is mentally ill, and hyper religious. Bad combo. She was also a check forger.

She honestly believed that every time she passed a bad check at a supermarket and got away with it it was because Angels were protecting her. If she got busted, and banned from a store it was because Angels were protecting her, and had she not gotten caught she would have gotten food poisoning and died.

The woman literally had to drive 45 minutes to get to a supermarket because she was barred from every other one that was closer. And she’d refuse to pay for food with cash, because then the Angels wouldn’t have a chance to save her.”

17. Hmmm…

“My parents were in the process of a divorce—my mom told the couples counselor that my dad (who doesn’t drink alcohol) had a drinking problem.

When it was brought up in counseling, my dad was confused, and when they both looked at my mom, she said “soda.”

She is fanatically religious. Glad he finally got free.”

18. Get outta here with that.

““She’s had diarrhea in her diaper, so she’s obviously sinned already.” –

My cousin talking about his 3 month old daughter at the time.”

19. Ugghhh.

“This is kinda weird but one day this one friend of mine was telling us why she turned vegetarian, it’s mainly because she saw this film about how animals are really mistreated and stuff and doesn’t wanna be part of it.

It was a good and wholesome conversation until this one really religious girl spoke up out of nowhere and said “yeah I know all these fast food places mistreat the animals but I know Chick-fil-A doesn’t, because they’re in the faith.”

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this comment every time I drive by a Chick-fil-A ever since.”

20. He was actually from Arkansas.

“Jesus was a Baptist. A SOUTHERN Baptist.

And that there were no dinosaurs. Those quite simply must be misidentified skeletons because A) God wouldn’t let his perfect creations go extinct, B) the earth is only six thousand years old anyway, therefore C) those are bones of modern animals that have been twisted, elongated, and reshaped by the process of burial and fossilization.

And D) God would have mentioned them specifically in the Bible so any fossils that can’t be explained away by the reasons above are due to God placing intentionally misleading evidence in the fossil record as a test of faith.

I dated a guy who felt that way about dinosaurs. I couldn’t believe it so i kept pushing for a reason. Those are the ones he gave me. The relationship didn’t last much longer than this conversation.

Yeah… drag.”

21. I’m in big trouble.

“TV shows are evil. They promote idol worshipping and they don’t have anything that is in the Bible.

That is how the devil reaches you. Every time you watch a series, 100 demons enter your body.”

22. It’s all good.

“That because they accepted Jesus into their heart, they can sin all they want.

Then just pray to Jesus for forgiveness at the end of the day and they’re all good.”

23. Doesn’t work that way.

“That I am clearly a Satan worshipper since I don’t believe in God…

Um no. I don’t believe in Satan either…”

24. Devil music!

“My grandma once told me when I was 7 that because I listen to music a lot, that when I die God will punish me by pouring melted lava in
my ears.

Man that scared the heck out of me at the time.”

25. You’re friends with this person?

“I have a friend that believes that “God killed Steve Irwin for teaching children about evolution.”

Same friend was also offended at Lego Movie 2 for being “too gay.”. Because of the jokes with the sparkly vampire Lego. I tried to explain that if anything they were making gay bashing jokes with that scene because of everything said about Twilight.

But he still refuses. He also refuses to watch Endgame because of that one gay character in the support group at the beginning.”

26. Christian school.

“My parents put me in a private Christian school for high school. One of the teachers there told me that “anyone who isn’t Christian is incapable of good”.

He explained it by saying that Christians are motivated by doing things for god and simply because they’re right, but non-Christians do things for selfish reasons and that makes the act not good.

I asked about donations and charity work and he said people did it to be seen by others and be praised, I asked about anonymous donations and genuinely good people but he said that even those people were doing it because it made themselves feel good.

This guy still teaches kids.”

27. That’s reassuring.

“That because I’m Bipolar, I’m a demon sent by Satan to destroy everyone and everything around me.”

28. Oh, they’ll be fine!

“My SIL told me that it was fine if a person was wrongfully convicted of murder and executed, because God would look after them.

I asked her how she would feel if it happened to her husband (my brother) and she said, “Things like that don’t happen to people like him.””

How about you?

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard a very religious person say?

Talk to us in the comments!