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20. Over my head
Gaming specific, but when people are complaining about lag online.
“I have 60 megs down and 40 up, I shouldn’t have any lag!!”
Not true at all. Past a certain threshold (like 3 mbs), your bandwidth doesn’t matter. Its all about connection quality, namely latency and packet loss. You can have a high connection and still have crappy online gaming experiences if you’re dropping packets.
21. Annoying AF
When people (usually teachers) are showing you a video on YouTube and they do one of, or all, 3 of these things:
1Neglect to hit the full screen button
2Keeping the ad on the screen the whole video instead of hitting the x and closing it out
3Leaving the CURSOR HOVERED OVER THE PLAY BUTTON
22. WiFi needed
They don’t understand the difference between online and offline content, it’s all just stuff in the computer.
For example, grandma’s computer is offline, she opens a folder and sees her pictures, she opens her email and it doesn’t work, I get a call because something in her computer isn’t working and she doesn’t understand the difference between things that do and do not require a connection.
23. Guilty of this myself
I’ve had uncles and aunts that tell me they have forgotten their password to their Gmail and ask if I can get it back because they never used to enter it as it was already autocompleted.
I have an uncle that said he was going to ring Google to demand they auto fill that box for him so he can log on. And he blamed them that it was his fault he didn’t know his password or security question.
24. That must be it
Right before I bought my own computer when I was in my teens I downloaded chrome with ABP to avoid viruses and ads and such. My dad saw the icon, thought it was Limewire or something, and demanded I take it off his computer because he didn’t want viruses. He then went on to use Internet Explorer with McAfee and riddled his computer with viruses.
Needless to say, when he finally threw it out, he heavily implied the 3 days chrome was on his computer was what did it in.
25. That’s cute
My grandfather (mid-70s) isn’t technologically savvy in the slightest. He has a cell phone, but it’s a very old flip phone. He hardly ever uses it, and when he does, he talks very loudly and a bit worriedly. He always has to announce that he’s “talking on the cell phone” if he calls you with it, and that “we might get disconnected”. My family was visiting him a few years back, and he had pulled his phone out of his pocket because we were talking about our smartphones and he wanted to explain that he got along just fine with his old one. I glimpsed a piece of tape on it from where I was sitting and asked to see it. To my dismay, he had taped a sticky note with two numbers on it to the back of his phone: his wife’s cell phone number, and the number of his buddy he always talks football with. I shared my discovery with everybody and we all had a good laugh. After the laughter died down, I offered to put the numbers in so he could take the sticky note off, to which he replied “I’m sure you could, but I wouldn’t know how to get them back out.
26. Acceptance is key
They panic at the sight of every pop up window on the computer, even innocuous ones like reinstalling the printer hubs or something.
This is my coworkers. They’re at the point where they don’t even read the message, they just call me screaming “Help! Something is wrong!”
Nothing is wrong. Just hit the accept button.
27. Count me out
I work in the IT sector of my company and I hear the tech support guys teaching people how to reset their password every few months. It goes something like this: “Did you restart your computer? okay.. no .. it can’t be that fast.. how did you restart it? no. It’s not the button on the monitor. Okay you need a capital letter, a number and a symbol. You did what? No. Stop. A CAPITAL LETTER. No. Dont do that. Stop it. A number. Did you include a number?…” etc etc. It’s quite entertaining / cringing to hear.
28. Huh?
Acquire an assortment of useless browser toolbars and extensions.
Open Yahoo search, search for google, then search for what you want.
The monitor is the computer, the computer is the modem. This is non negotiable.
Never read error messages; if you read them, you’re just admitting defeat.
Restarting does nothing. It’s a scam tech support uses when they want to take a coffee break.
You only need two fingers to type with at the most. Watch your keyboard to make sure you’re typing properly.
Don’t worry about file directories and subfolders. Storing your files is what the desktop is for.
If something stops working, the last person who touched it besides you is responsible.
You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it your own way.
29. Family story
My grandfather is a phenomenally brilliant man, but he was a little bit slow on the uptake when it came to embracing the use of computers. It was only after years of saying “The Internet is everything wrong with the world today!” – and that’s a direct quote, incidentally – that he allowed my father to give him a crash course in navigating the online world. Given that I come from a family of engineers and inventors, this teaching session was less an informative class and more a period of barely controlled chaos… and it also resulted in an outcome that never would have even occurred to me.
Now, everyone has stories about old people cluttering up their browsers with malicious toolbars and unnecessary applications, and you may be thinking that my grandfather managed to contract the Internet’s equivalent of syphilis within moments of getting online. As it turned out, though, he had an odd sort of natural immunity to the pitfalls of the Web, of which he needed to be cured before he could effectively explore.
“Okay, Dad,” my father had been saying, “this is your browser. You use it to look at the Internet.” He pointed at the top section of the screen as he spoke. “This field here is where you’ll type in the address of whatever website you want to visit.”
“Sure, I know that much,” joked my grandfather. “I don’t know any addresses, though!”
“Right, so you’ll need to look them up.” My father gestured at the address bar again. “This browser lets you use that field to search for things, too. Try typing in ‘metallurgy’ or something.”
My grandfather did as he was instructed, and – after examining the resultant page for a few seconds – eventually expressed his muted delight at being able to access entire libraries’ worth of encyclopedias from the comfort of his office. There were more questions asked, of course, but after a handful of minutes, my father encouraged the man to do some independent experimentation.
When he came back a little while later, though, he discovered that he’d left out a rather crucial detail.
“Uh, Dad?” my father asked. “What are you doing?”
My grandfather jabbed his finger at the screen. “That’s supposed to be an entry on trains. I’m going to look at it.”
“That’s great, but… again, what are you doing?” My father pointed at an open notebook next to the keyboard.
A roll of the eyes and a cantankerous grumble preceded my grandfather’s next words. “Look, I’m new to this whole Internet thing. Maybe you kids can remember all of these addresses, but I need to write them down.”
With a dawning sense of horror (and no small amount of amusement), my father watched as my grandfather wrote – by hand – an entire URL onto a physical sheet of paper. Once he had finished, he closed his browser window, opened a new one, and typed the link he had copied into the address bar.
“Damn!” my grandfather exclaimed, having been presented with an error page. “I must have written it down wrong. Hold on.” Once again, he closed the browser window, opened another one, typed “trains” into the address bar, then started manually transcribing the URL he intended to visit.
My father actually let him finish before pointing out what would have been obvious to you or me.
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