You’ve heard it a million times but it’s true…first impressions are really important!
That’s why this Ask Reddit thread is important… because there’s SOOOO much great advice in here for people who want to get somebody to like them right off the bat.
Take a look at what these folks had to say.
1. Got your back!
Stick up for someone. I (plumber) was meeting with a group of realtors to discuss some repairs that needed to be done at a house. One of the realtors was talking about another agent and said that she was retarded.
Jason, one of the agents, stood up for her. “hey man, it’s not cool to talk about her behind her back like that. And you shouldn’t use the R word”
Massive respect since then.
2. Simple things don’t purposefully.
Any act of kindness. One time a friend of mine asked to carry my computer bag and i was like woah i never noticed him before.
It wasn’t heavy but him being considerate really got me.
3. Hugs, not drugs
I went to summer camp a couple years in a row when I was a teenager.
The first year I went, on the first day, there were other teenagers standing outside holding signs that said “FREE HUGS”. Well, I took them up on the offer and got a big hug, it was awesome!
The next year, I was one of the teenagers holding a sign that said “FREE HUGS
Compliment something about me that could be changed in 5 minutes or less, like a piece of clothing or my hair. Lot of people don’t realize that complimenting body parts isn’t something you do to a stranger because it’s objectifying and uncomfortable.
That aside, anyone who cares about what I write about is gonna make a friend real effin quick because I crave validation for my writing. I could talk endlessly but I don’t because I know no one wants to hear that sh*t but if someone does I will die on the spot.
5. Looking interested…
Within a conversation try to find what is exciting them at the moment and try to include whatever knowledge you have of that topic into conversation or look interested into what they are saying.
Sometimes people just want good listeners.
6. It doesn’t have to be hard…
Just be friendly and sincere.
If they have an authentic positivity and seem happy to be interacting with me, that’s all it takes. It makes me think “well this is a nice person.”
Even if I feel like it’s not entirely genuine, I’ll at least appreciate that they’re trying and that’s worth a lot on its own.
7. Everybody needs to pitch in…
Mutual contribution to the conversation or discussion. It’s a huge turnoff when one person is carrying the conversation. It is equally frustrating when one person is very succinct and just contributes to the conversation by asking questions… it very much becomes an interview/interrogation. If you want someone to have a good first impression:
– be lighthearted (positive)
– ask genuine questions but also contribute to the conversation
– answer questions genuinely, people pick up on things especially in the beginning of the start of a relationship.
8. Turn it on!
Learn their name, nod your head when you and them are talking, and be interested in meeting them.
I have to turn it on, but my wife says she can tell when I do it.
9. Ask me what I asked you!
If we’re talking and I ask you a get-to-know-you type question (What was the last concert you went to? What do you think about XYZ? etc.), it fills my heart with love and joy if you ask me the same.
It’s not because I’m waiting to tell a story but it shows that you are actually engaged in conversation instead of broadcasting who you are.
10. All about the canines
This is going to sound so shallow compared to the other comments, but if someone compliments my dog I instantly think “this person was raised right”.
11. This is going to come up a lot…
Pay attention to the person speaking and acknowledge what they’re saying.
When it comes to your turn to speak, chat for a short while, but bring it back around to them by asking open ended questions and continue to actively listen.
I don’t know the full science behind it, but I read something before that it creates a comfortable relationship in the person’s brain and they will instinctively like you more.
12. She’s making it pretty easy.
Laugh at my dumb jokes.
What can I say, I’m a simple woman… flattery goes far.
13. Or… you CAN fake it.
From what I have witnessed a complete lack of interest with fake attention, like head nodding, and an obviously faked sympathetic tone that corresponds with the whatever has been said by the other party is all you need as long as the people talk about themselves.
And when you actually listen to people and put some thought into your responses then you have somewhat of a 50/50 chance of being considered boring or smart and friendly.
14. The friend theory
This is interesting. Starting a conversation as if we’re already friends helps so much.
I used to work at Starbucks, and on my first day at a new store one of my coworkers walked up to me with the newsletter thing and said “I like to look for cute boys in here.”
It was funny, and I immediately liked him and bonded with him more than coworkers who simply introduced themselves or asked basic small talk questions.
15. A great conversation… is one sided?
People say that I’m one of the most comfortable people to talk to, and that they feel like they can talk with me about anything. A great conversationalist, etc
Little do they know, most of my side of the conversation is just asking questions and using their answers to ask another question.
16. Guys, read this!
If you heard something about be from mutual friends, ask me something about what you heard. If you don’t, ask me a question about something I’ve said and actually be interested in the answer.
Don’t ask what I do for work or where I live or what I think of this weather or how my flight was. If we’re drinking beers, ask me about my favorite beer, or how I got into beer. If we’re going to a show, ask me about how I feel about the band or how I got into them or if I dance at shows. If we’re standing around at a party, ask me about my hair or my cool shoes or something else that interests you.
That’s how we have a real conversation about something mutually interesting.
If you have nothing interesting to ask me about, maybe offer something interesting about yourself, or something relevant to the context of where we are and what we’re doing. It can be as simple as, “I hear you bike commute. Is that hard?” Then I can talk about that, and then ask you if you bike, and you can tell me that you never learned since that time your dad thought you were ready to not have training wheels and you weren’t, but you do skateboard, and I can ask you about that, then we’re actually having a conversation about something interesting instead of “yeah, it’s supposed to be hot all week.” It’s almost like the improv rule of “yes, and.”
Offer your conversational partner openings, and take the openings you get to build and keep the volley going.
As a woman, so many men ask boring generic questions about me, don’t listen to the answer, and then go on at length about themselves. That’s not a conversation, it’s a monologue, and it’s all surface level. Back and forth, give and take, and sharing beyond the surface level of pleasantries is what makes talking to other human beings cool, but so few people do it well.
17. Listening is key…
I had a client tell me she really likes me bc you can tell i genuinely listen to everything she’s saying and give an honest, thought out response.
My business with said client ended back in February and she moved 800 miles away but she still texts and calls periodically to catch up with my family.
18. Obscurity is the key
Im not one for first impressions making that much of an impact but a good spirited joke or obscure fandom reference, paired with a good vibe is a GREAT start.
My opinion can and probably will change as we get to know each other because, again, for me personally first impressions mean jack shit unless the first impression was REALLY bad.
Like “meeting you because you set my car on fire” bad or “screamed a slur in a crowd” bad.
19. Oh, you like it rough, eh?
If someone can jokingly give me a hard time (obviously not in a mean spirited way), then I automatically like them.
Sarcastic bullying is my love language.
20. Just be genuine!
When they show a genuine interest in getting to know you.
Seems like a lot of people have this wall or facade when you first meet, so just being someone who is open to connecting in an open way would be a breathe of fresh air for me and I’d like them pretty quick since this is so rare.
21. Masks off pls!
Honestly if they just relax and only talk to me about something they genuinely like or wanna know.
I dont like the little “mask” we put on around each other and love when they just be themselves with me immediately.
22. Participation trophy
Share something interesting/fun they’ve recently participated in or something they’re passionate about, it makes me feel like they want to share an aspect of their life with me which builds trust and makes me want to share as well!
23. Superpowers to connect
Say something funny.
FWIW I’m a big old teddy bear and I pretty much like everyone right away. If I don’t, there is usually a good reason. Sometimes I don’t know what it is right off the bat, but eventually I find out. And the universe makes sense again.
Once I figured out that was my superpower, I harnessed it as a force for good.
24. But how will we know what you like??
Engage me in a conversation about something I like.
As an introvert and person with social anxiety I don’t usually bring up topics to talk about. But if you say something about Harry Potter, South Park, cats, same music I listen to… I take that as sign you care about me a little and what I have to say.
Acknowledging me and being generally nice makes me feel happier and that I matter since generally I feel ignored most of the time.
25. No complaining please.
A genuine smile and not complaining.
Soooo many people start a conversation by complaining about some aspect of their life that’s just no way to live.
26. This is hilarious!
Tap each of your shoulders twice, nod your head, turn around clockwise, look back at them over your left shoulder and say “I’ve got the magic”.
It takes practice, but if done correctly it will get you anyone with a beating heart.
Hope this helps.
27. Is this person a professional?
This ability is innate to some people. After being in contact with some individuals like those, few points that I have picked up are as follows
- Start helping those close to you, regardless of how irritating the chore is, e.g if your sister asks you to help with her homework or if you mother asks you to take out the garbage, etc just start doing these small things, and make yourself available to others selflessly. This help creates the persona of a caring and cheerlifting attitude within oneself.
- Try to handle tough situations with a hint of humour.
- Let others tell you their circumstances, we never know when one might be in need of a sympathetic ear.
- Time and again remind others that you were thinking about them, and that you are praying for them.
- Try to downplay an otherwise difficult problem, so as to give others a peace of mind.
In my opinion you can’t improvise something, that will become reason for someone’s affection, rather start by improving small things in life, and eventually you will become a source of positivity, which everyone can feel just by sitting with you.
28. Shy guys
If they’re shy, I think I’d feel comfortable with them. I’m very awkward and shy in real life, but when I see someone who is shyer than me I let my guard down and become more talkative.
I’m too scared to order shit, but if I see someone struggling to order as well I become a mom and do it for them.
It’s weird, but they just make me comfortable and more confident.
29. Could it be that simple?!
Give me pizza.
I’m a simple man.
30. Familiarity could work.
Talk to me like we’ve known each other for years.
Had a guy who did this in a weekend camp and everyone thought we’ve known each other from before the camp.
Didn’t even introduce ourselves to each other and the camp ended without both of us not knowing the other’s name.
This means so much to me bc I have very bad social anxiety and Im trying my best to seem “normal” around people, especially clients.
Now that we’ve established all of that… do you have any strategies that work? Let us know in the comments!