If there’s one thing I know for sure about human beings, it’s that they will always find a way to surprise you. This could be in a good way, or a bad way, but it will definitely happen if you wait long enough.
If you’re a nurse or someone else who works in healthcare, those surprises will probably involve more dire situations than most – and also some that are just downright disgusting – and the longer you’re on the job, the harder it probably is to shock you.
So when these 31 nurses say these are the most unbelievable moments, be warned – they mean it.
31. He looked like a goner.
“First day of my emergency medicine clerkship, saw them wheel in a motorcycle accident guy who had dozens of broken bones (arms, legs, skull, etc) amongst significant soft tissue injuries. GCS was in the single digits. Had a decent pulse when they brought him in but it was fading fast. FAST scan showed he was pretty much bleeding into every space in his abdomen and pelvis.
The guy looked like a goner. His co-rider had already been pronounced dead in the field. Hands and feet were the same color as the white sheets on the gurney, pulse was barely palpable, lips were blue etc.
Anyway the trauma surgeon apparently sees something or has a flash of inspiration (I stepped away for like 5 minutes while they were putting in chest tubes to go check on one of my other patients in a different room) because as I head back over to the trauma bay, they’re whisking this guy off to the OR.
I hear from a nurse the next day that they cracked his chest, called in vascular and CT surgery in conjunction with the trauma surgeon to stop all the bleeding, and then closed him up once he was hemodynamically stable (but obviously in grave critical condition).
There was no telling in the short term what kind of neurologic deficits he’d have from the fact that at one point, 80% of his blood was chilling in his abdomen rather than his vessels. Heck, I didn’t even know if the guy’s spine was intact or if he’d be paralyzed just from the physical trauma.”
30. She could not be convinced.
Spent WAY too long having to explain to a celiac patient that white bread was still made out of wheat and that’s why she was still sick.
Nutritionist had already been over it several times and then called me in to try to convince her.
29. Still a sad story.
“Not a doctor but a registered nurse, last summer between the months of June to September we had a young male, 19 years old who crashed his motorcycle and was sent flying through a van’s windshield. By the time he came on to my unit he had gone through so many operations and I heard he needed to have over a hundred blood transfusions within the first month to keep him alive.
He also ended up losing all movement and sensation from the belly button down as well as losing his left arm. His right arm was intact but barely functioning. Neurologically he was with it…knew his name and that he was at the hospital but I honestly don’t think he knew what happened to him.
His family members were very nice and I could only imagine how they were feeling. I honestly have no idea how he was still alive. He couldn’t sit up straight anymore because he would be in terrible pain 24/7 but if we laid him flat he couldn’t really clear his secretions…… I’m surprised he didn’t get pneumonia or aspirated or something else.
We discharged him to a long-term acute care facility and that’s the last I heard of him but it’s just such a sad story considering he’s only 19.”
28. You won’t die…from hunger.
I used to work on a cardiology unit and we often would get patients that had surgery either later in the day or be next day.
I was a nurse assistant and would constantly be arguing with patients because they think we are evil for not letting them eat. “I HAVEN’T EATEN IN 15 HOURS”
I’m like I’m sorry dude but either you don’t eat or this process will begin again because these doctors don’t want to possibly kill you.
27. Just a hole.
“I’m a hospital medic and my first serious trauma was a guy that got tagged in the neck. Somehow it missed everything important and went right through. Minimal bleeding, no C-Spine damage. Just a hole through his neck that didn’t piece his esophagus, trachea, or any major vein or artery. Dude was just chilling in the room.
And then two weeks ago we had a gsw that would NOT have made it to the local trauma center. Hit is femoral vein but was still GUSHING blood. One nurse stuck her finger in the hole and it stopped the bleeding, and I found a second wound in his chest.
No bleeding at all (it just looked like a weird indentation, we couldn’t even tell it was a gsw at first) and I stuck an IV adhesive sticker over it to vent it and prevent a collapsed lung. The guy’s blood pressure was in the toilet and wasnt even able to read on the machine, we needed a manual check.
By the time we got him sort of stable and with decent vitals, and got a surgery team in early, we were drenched in this guy’s blood. Pretty sure most of what was flowing through him was saline and other people’s blood. He survived though.
We also had one woman whose entire abdomen was fully open under her belly, and everything in her was horribly infected. We basically told her we can’t stop that much infection and she opted for hospice care. She was in so much pain I don’t know how her family even got her to the ER.
I lifted up her gut to look underneath since I was the first in the room to assess, and I was hit one of the most rancid smells I’ve ever experienced. Literally everything from the waist up was infected. There were some unnatural fluids draining right out of the completely open bottom of her stomach. I mean it when I say you could just lift it up and look right inside.”
26. Just making sure.
Not a nurse but my wife is about to get her tubes tied.
She had to sign a document stating that she would be rendered infertile after the procedure.
We laughed and the doc straight said “I used to think it was funny too.”
25. A fighter.
“My Dad is 87, He had prostate, liver, bowel, colon and skin cancer. For the skin cancer he had lots of reconstructive surgeries. (His whole tibia region and the back of his hands. ) Every year he has to have at least one skin lesion removed.
He had a couple of heart attacks and then a sextuple bypass surgery. He also had a big pneumonia, a huge abscess and a small stroke.
His Doctor wants to see him every 6 months. I think just to be amazed that he’s still walking around.”
24. Not the same hole.
Did labor and delivery for awhile. We typically inserted catheters after the epidural. A lot of women would ask how they could push the baby out if something was in that hole…had to explain to many ADULT women the urethra and vagina are, in fact, not the same hole.
Also had a couple where the husband did it with the wife’s stoma and it got a gnarly infection. Explaining that you should not ever put your dick directly into someone’s stoma was a hoowee of a conversation
23. They each carried a leg.
“I had a patient who was literally cut in half at the pelvis after a car hit him and pinned him to a telephone pole. Paramedics carried his legs in separately. He was wide awake and talking to me as we quickly put in a central line and he got all the bleeders ligated by like 5 different surgeons. He declined pain meds repeatedly, what a legend.
He was in the OR 5 minutes later. Luckily this was at a major academic center with an exceptional trauma surgery team. Apparently the guy lived, not sure what his quality of life was after, but pretty crazy.”
22. A real headache.
Had to explain to a patient, and his family, multiple times that although he does have a defibrillator now he still needs to take his heart medicine …. a real headache of a conversation
21. An ancient attack.
“Sabre tooth cat (smilodon) bite.
Local university has a paleontology dig with Pliocene (IIRC) era fossils. An undergraduate was helping out in lab and tripped and fell into a fossil reconstruction, lacerating her forearm. Needed a few stitches.
This was before ICD coding was required on everything.”
20. That’s not how this works.
I’m a neuro nurse. I once had a patient who was going into surgery the next morning, meaning they couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight.
Well at 4am I go in there to check on him and he’s drinking a cup of milk and eating cookies that his family had brought him. I asked him why he was eating because he had surgery in a few short hours and his reply was that he has a bowel movement every morning so he figured we would be okay to eat because it would be out of his system before surgery.
That’s not how this works grandpa!!! ugh surgery canceled.
19. Not the cheese!
“Not an emergency room but, I had patient come into my clinic because he was sure he broke his foot. I asked him what happened and he told me he dropped a really heavy Costco sized wheel of cheese on his foot.
To be fair, those are tremendously heavy.”
18. I hope their kids are ok.
Working at ob/gyn clinic.
Had to explain to a concerned husband that his pregnant wife will not choke the fetus if she eats spaghetti.
That’s a completely different system of organs.
17. They just flopped out.
“My mom told me a story about how this dude had a ruptured hernia that he’d ignored for a while, and then sneezed one day and his intestines flopped out of his body. Like out onto the floor. So his wife scooped em up in a towel and he held the towel while they drove there.
My mom heard that bit, but told me she near pooped herself when this dude came walking in holding a bloody towel and his wife yelled ‘MY HUSBANDS GUTS FELL OUT.’ “
16. Magic is the only answer.
I had to listen to a dialysis patient explain to me very seriously that he had gained 6 kilos of water weight in 2 days because he had “sat in the tub for too long” and had magically absorbed over 13 lbs of fluid.
That was not a fun conversation.
15. This is all disconcerting.
“I had a patient who sneezed and tooted in rapid succession and dehisced her (previously thought well healed) hysterectomy incision. She said blood shot across the room.
I also had a patient with a herniated small bowel fistula (like a basketball sized section of his bowel hanging out) that would unfurl like an accordion if he laughed/sneezed/tensed his muscles when laying down. I always looked up new jokes before I saw him so we could watch it pop out when he laughed.”
14. Pretty bad, tbh.
Had a guy come who wanted malaria tablets but wasn’t sure what area of the country he would be traveling in.
Rural he would need them but the cities he wouldn’t.
He said “what’s the worst that could happen?”
“You could get malaria.”
“Yeah, but how bad can that be?”
“Dead. The worst it can be is you die.”
He left the shop anyway.
13. A new diet.
“Not a normal ‘injury’ but it’s stupid. We had someone come in because they couldn’t pee for two days. X ray showed so much stuff. This person was literally filled with stuff. So much it blocked their urethra. This patient never mentioned they’ve been constipated for a few weeks. They explained that they started a new weight loss diet that’s supposed to be chicken and a vegetable for every meal.
They thought their new diet was not making any waste and was being used as energy, so the not pooping just never triggered a ‘hmm this isn’t normal’ response. Turns out they had a diet that only consisted of bunless McChickens for breakfast lunch and dinner. Go figure.
After draining almost 2 liters out of this poor soul’s bladder we were ready for phase two: milk and molasses enema. Mixed up the goods and brought a bedside commode, just incase the bathroom is too far. We give the enema, 15 seconds later the loudest stomach gurgle erupted from the depths of our patient. Quickly scrambling trying to get this person on the commode. Anyways, don’t eat only McChickens for a month straight.”
12. It wasn’t a prank.
I, a male nurse, had to explain to a 25 year old female what her period was. She came to the ED and was concerned she had cramping and vaginal bleeding monthly.
Thought for sure I was being pranked by co-workers.
Nope.
11. At least he had a sense of humor.
“Broken man parts. A lady was riding him, she came up too high, and then down. He heard it pop. It had a slight bend to it and blood was coming out of the tip. It bled so much that the walls were covered with blood. He had to hold pressure to stop the blood from coming out. He found humor in the situation telling us “My hand is starting to get tired, can you hold my it now?”
You break it. You buy it.”
10. If not you, who?
Got a call from a discharged patient.
“So I’m wearing these depends…”
“…okay.”
“Do I need to change them everyday?”
“Uhh yeah… or when they’re soiled.”
“Okay and should I clean myself up after that?”
“Yes. Yes, please.”
We thought we were being punked.
9. Thank heaven for bleach.
“X-ray tech here. Guy had something stuck under his lawn mower, so he reached under to remove it and… you can see where this is going. Had to get a standard 3 view hand X-ray with blood just POURING onto the image receptor.
Thank God for purple wipes and bleach.”
8. Lucky is one word for it.
“Airlifted pregnant female with a gsw to the head. Arrived intubated and non responsive with the bullet lodged in her right occipital lobe.
Self-extubated the next day and left the hospital against medical advice 2 days after that with only minor visual deficits. Unbelievable.”
7. How not to bulk up.
“We had a call for I&D of bilateral deltoid abscesses. He apparently had thoughts of being a body builder, but instead of lifting weights or knowing someone who could hook him up with some quality steroids, he decided to bulk up by using some protein powder at GNC…
…and mixing it with water, drawing it up into a syringe, and injecting 20-40cc daily directly into the muscle. If bulk was what he was going for, it definitely worked, temporarily. A rip-roaring localized infection makes you look plenty swole. They got almost a liter of puss mixed with liquified protein powder out of each deltoid.
This also wasn’t the first time we’d been called for this problem.”
6. Google it if you dare.
One good one: I once took care of a guy in the rural South who came to the hospital because people said he was growing salt.
And he was— totally covered in what looked like snow. Uremic frost! I said, since I was fresh out of residency.
Guy had been in renal (kidney) failure for 3 months and had been vomiting every day which kept his potassium low enough that he didn’t die! But it was still 9.7 and his ecg was a sine wave and he definitely should have been dead.
Google uremic frost. It’s a good one.”
5. I don’t even know what to say.
“Call came in as auto versus bike, GSW. That is a motor vehicle colliding with a bicycle and then the bicyclist was shot.
Apparently, the bicyclist was riding his bicycle and was struck by a car.
The driver of the car got out and examined the damage to his car, grabbed the weapon out of his trunk, and then blasted the bicyclist. Bicyclist survived.”
4. Falling like dominoes.
“I work in an ER in Lebanon where the construction safety regulations are a bit “lax”. A few years back I remember that construction workers were falling off buildings like dominos.
One guy came in having fallen from a few stories up and got impaled by an iron bar that went through the back of his neck and out of his left eye socket. Guy was alive and talkative when he got to our ER. Rushed down to surgery.
Apparently it had missed every vital structure somehow and the guy didn’t even lose vision in his eye.”
3. That sounds made up.
“I’m a Registered nurse, had a dude come in with a travel sized shampoo bottle stuck up his butt. Said he was trying to give himself a soap suds enema and it got lodged up too far and he couldn’t get it out.
He went for surgery within the hour. I don’t know if I can believe his story.”
2. The look on my face right now.
“My mother. We use to live in East Texas and my mom had this lady come in and had a huge infected wound in her leg, like massive to the point they might have to amputate and she had asked her why she waited so long before coming in when it was obviously festering.
Well turns out this woman was letting her dogs “lick it clean because their mouths are clean” and she was soaking it in doctor pepper because “Dr.” had her thinking it would help…
Needless to say my mother looked at her like a deer in the headlights when she said that.”
1. Not so casual.
“ER doc. Had a guy who just got out of the slammer a few days earlier came in with his GF who had signed in for an STD check.
Walk in to meet them and he says casually “Is it possible to get gonorrhea in your throat?”
At that moment I knew he had gonorrhea in his throat.”
If I ever though I could be a nurse, these stories have cured me.
Are you a nurse or healthcare worker? If so, we want your stories in the comments!
