2. Shut yer yap

Had a lady sitting behind and across the aisle from me and my girlfriend on a ten hour flight. We’d spent the whole weekend together already and were flying home. Both of us were enjoying our time being alone but together. I’m reading a book on my phone, she’s listening to music.

This lady leans forward and taps my shoulder. Asks me to open her soda for her. I oblige. A minute later. Tap tap. I politely turn around, she starts with, “Let me tell you something about you.”

Then she just goes into this long-winded spiel about how in her day she’d have been so excited to be with her boyfriend. Cuddling, kissing, talking. I point out that we’ve been together every second of the last 48 hours, we’re just fine. She disagrees wholeheartedly.

I disengage, turn back, get a page or two into my book. Tap tap.

I turn around again, she starts bending my ear again about “today’s youth” and how we’re just too busy to talk to each other. Segues into the life stories of her children. Every time I turn away, I get that tap tap again.

This goes on for almost an hour. I can’t get a word in. We move from the topic of her family to the problems with our country. Finally, it’s escalating. You know when someone starts trying to ease you into something, build you up with a few statements that everyone would agree with, then tie it into some crazy stuff to try and get you to agree?

Yeah, that’s where we were going. And it finally ended on, “it’s the fault of the Blacks and the Mexicans.”

I finally told her I’d had enough, I wasn’t going to support that kind of talk, and I’d appreciate if she kept that to herself. She shut her yap after that.