You know when something happens and the whole room stops, looks at each other, and thinks, “Oh, shi*t”?
YEP. 15 times when you just can’t stop yourself.
#15. Your weekly routine.
When you have to wake up early to get back into your weekly routine for school/college/work after a holiday or break
#14. I have to deal.
“The government watchdog is coming in next week for an audit.”
It’s never that big a deal but it means I have to deal with stressed out colleagues who think it is.
#13. How unfair.
I lost my mom unexpectedly when I was 12. So when my dad literally dropped dead in our apartment when I was 18 that’s really all that went through my head, “not again.” Couldn’t wrap my head around how unfair that shit was.
#12. He was in the bushes again.
My neighbor thinks he’s Jon Voight from Anaconda when he gets drunk. I saw him slamming beers on his porch yesterday and a few hours later he was in the bushes looking for snakes and speaking with a shitty accent.
#11. The smallest hint of a sore throat.
When I start getting the smallest hint of a sore throat.
Im gonna hate life for the next week or so.
#10. One more time for good luck.
When my older brother’s new girlfriend announced she was pregnant. This will be my brother’s fifth child, having four with his ex-wife.
#9. On full alert.
Hearing my kid start coughing at about 4 am this morning. Whenever he gets a cough it gets so bad he starts puking. Had to move him to the couch with towels and a bucket. That retching noise puts me on full alert immediately. Ugh.
#8. A 4th cat.
When my wife came home with a 4th cat.
#7. Talking to strangers.
When my father starts talking to strangers. We will be waiting for the next hour at least, while he talks to his new friends.
#6. And I quote.
everytime we have a family dinner and my parents start talking about introducing me to, and I quote “a potential future husband”
#5. A bad replacement.
My super chill project manager who respected our knowledge and experience was replaced with a micromanager.
#4. An angry lady at Walmart.
When the angry lady at Walmart started raising her voice at the cashier because her coupon expired.
#3. A vague excuse.
When I still lived at home it was any time my dad made some vague excuse to leave the house on foot. He would disappear to the pub for at least 3 or 4 hours, sometimes longer, and we would never know what kind of mood he’d be in when he returned home.
So, yeah. Here we go again every time I heard ‘I’m just going for a haircut’ or to place a bet or pick up a prescription.
#2. Every month.
When I’m getting my period.
#1. Monday morning.
6am every Monday morning as I wake up for work.
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