People are mighty sensitive about their fandoms, and that seems to go double (or triple) for Star Wars. It could be because the franchise has been around since the 70s, because it’s tied to so many of our childhoods, or because more than one generation has now claimed it as their own, but folks have been downright salty about the handling of this final chapter.
That said, there is at least one person who isn’t here for your complaints, and he’s clapped back in an epic twitter thread.
It begins with him informing young ‘uns about the horrors that were watching Episodes 1-3 for the first time, in a theater.
Yes, a space diner.
No, this isn’t a screenshot from a 1998 PC game that came in a cereal box. This shit was what I had to sit through. You get beautiful, imaginative fight sequences on salt sprinkled red planets. I got space diner. Go fuck yourself. pic.twitter.com/8XVKLsvKnI
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
And goes on to address issues with how Luke Skywalker and Palpatine were treated soooo unfairly boohoo.
Aww, you didn’t get enough Luke Skywalker as you wanted??? So sad! You bastards, I sat through 9 hours spread out over the better part of a decade to see Darth Vader and when he finally showed up he basically only said one word. pic.twitter.com/7phFJzxSO5
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
You thought the bad guy was too two dimensional and **SPOILER** got disappointingly sabered in half before we could learn more about him? OH GEE. I CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT THAT’S LIKE. pic.twitter.com/3xLzQWquJP
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
We aren’t here for your bs expectations of logic, newbies.
What’s that? Carrie Fisher shouldn’t have been able to survive in space? Yeah I guess that is unrealistic. Especially when you consider HER MOTHER DIED WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND HEALTHY BECAUSE SHE WAS IN A SHITTY MOOD ONCE. pic.twitter.com/exQQi07bvC
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
Then we get reminders of how terrible these two moments were…
You all sicken me. pic.twitter.com/9YCpCON3gD
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
YOU ALL THINK IM JOKING. A DUDE WITH ANTENNA TRIED TO SELL OBI-WAN KENOBI SOME COKE. THAT HAPPENED AND I PAID MONEY TO WATCH. REAL MONEY. pic.twitter.com/xlfRz1iWCp
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
Before he hightails it because the Prequel Fans (all 5 of them) have come out in force.
Oh god, I’ve upset the corner of the internet that loves the prequels, may the force be with me. pic.twitter.com/cueqzWyUsT
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) December 20, 2017
The moral of the story? Sit down and enjoy your Rian Johnson and JJ Abrams Star Wars because nothing is more disappointing than 1-3.
Nothing.
Don’t @ me.
