Most of us receive advice on an almost daily basis about our jobs, our love lives, and various other topics, but sometimes we need to hear the nitty-gritty, you know what I’m saying?
I’m talking about vulgar life advice. We need it! So let’s hear all about it!
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
1. Ladies, this is important.
“If you are a woman and you have stopped menstruating, i.e. gone through menopause completely, and then at some later date begin to bleed from your vagina, see your doctor immediately.
This can be a sign of cancer but many women miss it because bleeding from their vagina is something so common it isn’t worth looking into.”
2. A good tip.
“Water is the opposite of l*be.
S*x in a lake seems like it will be hot…it is not.”
3. They’re watching you.
“If you think anyone your sharing a room with won’t notice you getting with your partner. YOU ARE WRONG.
They are always awake.
ALWAYS.”
4. Ouch!
“You can break your d*ck.
Be careful when your gal is on top.
Back and forth, not up and down. If she’s litterally bouncing on your cock, stop her. Ever heard a d*ck break. It sounds like a loud pop. Then lots of screaming.”
5. Kink tests.
“If you have difficulty discussing what kinks you’re into or are going to be embarrassed if you suspect your partner won’t be into the same things you are, there are several ‘kink tests’ you and your partner can take.
You both take the test separately and only see what you match on. Find one that is as detailed as you need and that has safeguards against spamming everything to see what the other person is into.”
6. Last longer!
“If you want to last longer in bed (men), relax your glutes and quads when you feel like you’re going to c*m and you’ll have a much better chance of not doing that and lasting longer.
You can notice the next time you’re about to c*m how tense your legs and glutes are, this has helped me immensely in bed!”
7. Hit the showers.
“Shower before you have s*x. Tiny particles ( like glitter, machine ouls, and metal slivers) picked up from work can travel to your genitals through your cloths.
My partner works in a factory working with metals, and I found the metal bit the hard way. Bleeding off-cycle is quite the mood dampener. Least I didn’t get a toxic shock reaction.”
8. Be like Batman.
“For my straight dudes out there, using toys with and on your partners doesn’t make you less of a man, you are not in competition with her vibrators. They are tools to bring her to orgasm efficiently and without giving you or her RSI.
Batman has a tool for all occassions. Be like Batman.”
9. Get ‘er done.
“Wash your belly button you dirty animal.
People straight up neglect the belly button. My mom worked in an OR and she was obsessed with making sure we kept our belly buttons clean growing up.
She would always tell us about surgeries where they go to make an abdominal incision and were met with an absolutely filthy belly button.”
10. Listen up, men!
“Men, fondle your eggs now and again!
Make sure there’s no unusual lumps or pain! If there is, DO NOT PUT IT OFF. Get it checked out!
I am a testicular cancer survivor.”
11. Read the room…and the bed.
“Read the bed (Not the room in this case.) If she’s digging it, don’t change that. Don’t try to do whatever you’re doing better, don’t try other things. If it works for her, just go with it. If you’re not sure, don’t be afraid to ask.
That being said. Ladies, if a guy asks if he’s doing good. Don’t save his feelings. Let him know it’s not enjoyable and to try something else/tell him what he should do.
The moment Y’all figure out a happy medium, you’ll be in the bedroom more than any other room.”
12. Avoid at all costs.
“Don’t have s*x on a beach, sand gets in places where you would never want sand.”
13. You need clarity.
“Always and I mean always m*sturbate before making a big decision…
Post nut clarity can go a long way in keeping you from doing something stupid.”
14. Take note.
“Soap makes it sting when you pee.
I learned this the hard way. When I first hit puberty, I was worried that if I used lotion my parents would discover what I was doing because of how quickly it disappears, so I decided to use foam and hand soap.
I learned the hard way that trying to piss while you got soap in your urethra burns like hell, I also got a small scab on the head of my d*ck that I foolishly tried to disinfect with peroxide so I don’t have to see my doctor and explain why I have a penis related injury.
To this day, I still have a discolored gray spot on the head of my penis, forever marking my idiocy as a pubescent child.”
Do you have any good vulgar life advice to share with people?
If so, please do it in the comments!
Thanks in advance!
