The more you know…
Society is changing pretty rapidly, but I believe there is still a bit of a stigma surrounding men and how their emotions, thoughts, and feelings are explored or even acknowledged.
So, in short, we still have a long way to go in that department.
AskReddit users opened up about the men’s issues that they believe often get overlooked.
Let’s see what they had to say.
1. Lonely.
“Crushing, black, empty, cold, never-ending, screaming-into-the-void loneliness and everyone’s casual shrug when I even hint about it.
Just work, pay taxes, walk the dog, keep your mouth shut, don’t have feelings, don’t be short, try to keep up appearances of virility, and never, ever, whatever you do, don’t let anyone know how lonely you are because they’ll just sort of awkwardly giggle and change the subject.”
2. Mental illness.
“I work at a psychiatric hospital and out of the thirteen wards, only three are for women.
The huge problem to face men is mental illness and most, if not all the patients are there because they kept taking drugs as well.”
3. Maybe you should watch your kids…
“Was camping with friends a few years back. They have kids, I don’t.
We saw a toddler wandering around with no adults in sight, my friends, dealing with their own kids asked me to go see if I can help the lost kid out. The parents saw me bringing their kid back and instead of thanking me, freaked out and called the police.
Had my friends not showed up, I probably would have been arrested, all because some shi**y parents couldn’t watch their own kid and freaked when a man brought their kid back to them.”
4. Is this fair?
“I saw a woman attempting to hit her boyfriend outside a local supermarket.
He walked away from her. She followed him and kept hitting him. After this went on for about 90 seconds he shoved her away roughly once.
Two cars immediately stopped and men jumped out of them shouting at and threatening this guy for shoving her.
Nobody did anything when she was attacking him.”
5. Awful.
“Men as victims of r**e and s**ual a**ault. It’s a joke. Flat out a joke.
No one believes you. People mock you. “How? Why did you let him/her?” “Why didnt you just… stop them?” “A guy like you? Why didn’t you stop them?”
You’re looked down on as a failure. People don’t care as much because you’re not a female or your “flower” wasn’t taken.
It’s just a massive s**t show.”
6. Feeling isolated.
“Isolation.
I’ve felt this myself, and I’ve done some reading about it. Men tend to become more isolated and lonely as they get older. After a certain point they don’t make an effort to gain friendships and tend to shy away from any type of social engagement. I feel this way, because as of right now, I don’t have a close male friend. At least not someone I can talk to about things going on with me personally.
I know a lot of people, but I’m less and less engaged with them as each year passes. It concerns me as of late, because I don’t want to end up a hermit, but without a solid relationship, I could see myself headed this direction in my older years.”
7. Shamed.
“Pe**s shaming. Along with fat shaming and height shaming, it’s some of the most casual cruelty I hear frequently.
Even if it’s joking about “little d**k energy”, even if it’s not meant to be malicious, as someone with not-quite-a-microp**is-but-might-as-well-be, it’s devastating every time.
Just one more way I feel inadequate, one more way I’m “not a real man”. It hurts even more when other men do it.”
8. Sick of it.
“Height is a common thing to joke about.
Nobody sees a problem with it but it can really whittle away at your self worth when people always make fun of you for it.
Yes, I’m shorter than normal.
It hurts.”
9. Only human.
“Man… my entire past built up to a head and I ugly cried on my wife. Completely collapsed and hyperventilated I cried so hard.
Then it took me 2 weeks to feel normal again because of the inadvertent shame I felt for showing those emotions. My wife is super supportive and encouraged me through the WHOLE ordeal and never made me feel shame.
It was me. Brothers, we are too hard on ourselves. We are humans, just like everyone else.”
10. Watch your back.
“Inter male v**lence .
I’m 5’9″ and guys that are bigger have no problem being a d**che or even v**lent with me . I have to watch myself more than others as a result, I have been punched out for bumping into the wrong person.
The cops didn’t help either again cause I’m a guy, they basically thought I started it and should’ve defended myself. When in reality I bumped into someone drunk and he decided to punch me in the back of the head repeatedly .
I got zero help from the cops..
If that happened to a girl they would’ve been all over it .”
11. Careers.
“Society doesn’t seem to support a man who is without a job. There is pressure and programming for a male to be a breadwinner and no sympathy for when they want to be a house-dad.
Reason for my rant: My brother left a job due to a health issue. He has a 4yr old boy. His wife makes better money than him and they are financially secure. He worked too much which probably led to the health issue. I told him to take his time and heal.
If he felt that urge to ‘provide’ that he could take over the house duties and give the nanny the summer off to connect with his son. I shared with him that I had been laid off a few times and each time I rushed back to getting a job even though we were secure enough because of the guilt I felt everyday of not ‘providing’. He took the advice, I could see him smiling more, he started a garden with his boy, he cooked every meal and realized he loved to cook.
I was happy to see him being happy again. Enter my brother’s wife who says to us, “I’m the only bread winner now. I am so stressed out having to provide for this family by myself.” I saw the happiness drain from him and anxiety filled that place. He is now set to start the same job he had prior just appease the guilt he has from not ‘earning’.
The guilt was confirmed by his wife’s statement on top of the male programming of not contributing unless he is making money.”
12. A tough one.
“Mental health.
And this is coming from someone who has lived on the ideas of “you’re a guy, get over yourself”. It was taught to me, I didn’t think much of it, and now that I’m about to hit 20, I can feel the effects like a ripple.
It’s actually hard for me to open up to people and when I do I feel like I’m wasting everyone’s time.”
13. Insecure.
“It’s the worst to feel insecure about feeling insecure.
My ex girlfriend had depression and was always super insecure and needy at the beginning of our relationship. I supported her through it. But when I talked about my own self-esteem issues,I could instantly feel that she lost respect for me. Now I was “too sensitive and emotional”, and I was “the girl in the relationship”.
It’s been over for two months and I am still really insecure about my issues. I am afraid that if I will show my insecurities to a girl again, I will lose her again. But I also don’t want to wear this mask of the secure, stoic man all the time.
I just hope there are woman out there who really allow their partner to feel insecure from time to time and don’t lose respect for them when they do so.”
Okay, now it’s your turn to sound off.
In the comments, tell us what men’s issues you think get overlooked.
We’d love to hear from you!
