If you were bullied in school, it’s not much comfort to know that you’re not alone. There are arguably more people who were the victims than the bullies (which I guess is good, in its way), and we’re all just out here now, trying to live our best lives as adults.
How much do those hard years as kids affect the people we’ve gone on to become, though? If you’re curious, these 15 people are willing to share.
15. We all get it.
Depressed, lol.
Trying to downplay personal sadness and hide behind humor, you’re the voice of a generation my friend.
14. You take over the mantle sometimes.
Bullied quite a bit in high school.
The bullying has stopped from others but what is left is me being highly critical of myself and never really being happy with anything I’ve done.
I recently sought out help which has been amazing.
13. I mean, that’s worked out fairly well, all things considered.
I decided to hate people and be alone.
12. Some people never grow up.
I’m 26 now. people who used to bully me 10+ YEARS AGO will still call me by certain nicknames if I cross paths with them 😂
My friend told me a great thing to say to them. “OOOH LOOK its my biggest fan!” Works every time.
11. We just don’t care.
I am somewhat of a misanthrope, but I am kind to people who want me around. Having been a loner for 12 years after hardcore murderous bullying and divorce, I have picked up some hobbies. Thing is, no one stops me from doing these hobbies so I go far into them.
Like this week I went bouldering in an indoor gym, then went free diving where I almost was Steve Irwined by a stingray that exploded out from the bottom underneath me, then almost head butted a shark. Later as I was trying to get these shy fish to accept me into their school an even more massive stingray 2-3 times my size snuck up behind me almost bumping into me.
Was hoping to go surfing today, but it looks like the predictions are going to be wrong. Whatever. I need to go backpacking sometime this weekend and fix the motorcycle.
Been bullied throughout life. Trying to become financially independent, so I don’t have to give a crap about anyone.
10. There is another side.
Got bullied till last year.
Due to the lockdown I’ve been finally able to grow a bit and to kinda find friends. Well.
Now one year without being bullied i have a girlfriend and few close friends.
And I am glad. Very glad.
And thankful.
9. A happy ending.
Bullied as a kid.
Started lifting.
Realised I was so much more than what I was made to believe.
Probably smarter and definitely better looking than bullies as of 2021.
Happy.
8. Anger is normal.
I’m not angry at the kids anymore, I’m angry at the education system that seems to enable the kids to keep doing these things.
I thought for years it was just me and my imagination.
I had no idea how bad bullying still is until my coworker had to take a few days off because his kid got suspended for defending himself from a couple bullies.
7. It’s hard to enjoy life.
I don’t really enjoy anything anymore, and my dreams have been forgotten about.
Knowing all the bullies are having more successful lives than me after having brought me down just makes me angry.
I’ve spent a number of evenings drinking by myself just to try and feel happy and not really caring if I die from alcohol poisoning.
Sure, I did graduate from uni, pass my driving test and get a full time job in the past year but despite achieving lots lately I still feel miserable.
6. Pay attention, parents.
With me, I got brutally bullied from early childhood to middle school because I had undiagnosed ADHD, and that means ya girl was very loud, very aggressive, and hard to contain. Easy target. After a while I’d started giving as good as I got for a few years because what the fuck was I supposed to do?
There were no adults ever interfering on my behalf, so if adults weren’t gonna defend me, I was. And when I could get away with it because adults didn’t fucking care, and fighting was all I knew, you can imagine how a small, bullied kid can finally not just feel like she’s in control, but that she’s powerful.
I know what my home like or lack thereof was. But I’ve also since learned what life was like for my bullies, and they all come from homes very similar or much worse than mine. It’s a child, it’s not an adult, and if it’s a more aggressive child with no one to course correct them, then they’re gonna do the best they can with the tools they’ve got to come out on top.
I blame the system, I blame every adult that failed to give a shit, but the kids that bullied me when we were children, them I just feel sorry for. Even the teen girls who were bullying me so bad that I was hiding under the roof hatch of my apartment building (I lived on the top floor) while they used my best friends to lure me out of my apartment to beat me up, I was watching them the whole time from under the hatch.
My parents weren’t home, and I didn’t have the key.
All I’m ever asking is ‘where the heck were the adults’? Kids are animals, teens are some of the worst. It’s the adults’ job to teach and contain their children and wards.
5. Karma, I suppose.
I’m alive, most of them are not.
I won.
4. It takes time.
I’m dealing with the fear of people and I’d like to think I’m slowly getting better.
I don’t like sharing my thoughts with therapists or anything, I’m just working it out myself.
It’s taken me 10 years but I’ve finally gotten comfortable enough to make eye contact with people for a very limited amount of time.
3. There are lots of feelings.
My (f) bully has a wonderful husband, fun social life, a thriving business, a nice house with a big pool. They’re going on a trip to Sweden soon.
Part of me is very happy for him because the reason he bullied me is because he was horribly bullied first: being gay in the 80s was a nightmare for him.
But part of me is angry because he’s my older brother and my life is crap (not his fault) and I had to cut off most contact with him because he continued to bully me into our early 40s.
We’re in our 50s now and just interact at Xmas. Again, my shit life isn’t 100% due to him but it didn’t help that someone I loved so much hated me so much and taught me to hate myself – for no other reason but he was weak.
2. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Sometimes I try and figure out what’s wrong. Surely if people didn’t like me for some reason I could change? But then I try to love myself more, be more assertive and confident.
Then that comes off as cocky and aggressive. Sometimes I think my friends secretly hate me, but I try to be chill in social situations and pretend like I’m not ridiculously conscious all the time.
Honestly I’m just getting by and fighting any of these shitty thoughts but at the same time I do miss feeling genuinely liked without worrying about someone talking shit about me or making fun of my personality and interests.
It sucks when it comes from your family too. Feeling like you never fit in anywhere, or people leaving you all the time really messes with my mental health and it hasn’t been very good recently.
1. Ok in the end.
I’ve been bullied until about I was 16 years old. After that I made friends I could connect with. When I was 26/27 I realized my low self image because of my youth. I got into therapy. Group therapy. Guess who also attended that same therapy? One of my bullies.
This helped. I had developed a social anxiety disorder and it will never really go away. But I can deal with it now and have become fairly self confident.
I always thought I wasn’t all that intelligent, came with the low self image. This has caused me to underachieve for most of my life.
Now I am 36 and have my bachelor of science for applied psychology. I think I turned out well.
I hate that there are just so many replies, and so many that resonate with so many.
If you have anything to add, please drop it in the comments.
