The world is becoming a better and more welcoming place for LGBTQ kids and adults, but a lot of people are still navigating the right and wrong ways to be as supportive as possible.
When you’re a parent, you like to believe that your children know that you love them no matter what, but when they confront you with a revelation, many still struggle with the correct way to respond.
That’s what’s bothering this mother of three, whose son came out to her right in the middle of a busy afternoon of cooking for the entire family.
She responded that it’s “no big deal” and she “doesn’t care.”
I (F32) have 3 kids, who for the sake of this, I’ll call Jack (M15) Paige (F14) and Chloe (2), I have them with my ex husband and we remained on good terms.
A few weeks ago, I was hosting a family dinner my little sister and old brother and their kids, and I spent all day cooking a magnificent meal, asking my kids to entertain themselves so I could have full attention to making sure nothing went wrong.
As I’m cooking, Jack comes in and tells me he has something to say, which I ask very kindly if he could wait until a bit later as I don’t need the food burning, but he was adamant to talk to me now so I allowed him to while I made the food.
He tells me he’s gay, and me being stressed, I told him it’s not a big deal and that I don’t really care.
In her mind, this isn’t wrong – it’s no big deal to her, she loves him anyway, and it doesn’t matter to her one way or the other.
Growing up in a very backhanded racist and anti-LGBTQ family and not following those beliefs, I raised kids to know that everyone is an equal no matter what and so if needed, I didn’t want them to come out to me unless they were trans so that I could support them in transitioning.
To her son, though, her comments were dismissive and basically brushed off this big moment that he had talked up in his head.
He looks at me, completely shocked, and then starts going off at me that I should be making a big deal out of this because it took him a lot of courage for him to come out to which I remind that he doesn’t need to come out and that I love him no matter what.
He goes batshit and storms upstairs to pack a bag and head to his dads in which, he tells him what happened and I get a call from my ex snd he says he agrees with me and that he’ll talk to Jack.
After her son stormed off she confided in her family what had happened, some of them thought she should have made a bigger deal out of him embracing his identity.
The family come over and I confide in them about what happened as my sister also agrees with me however my brother does not, he says that coming out is a big deal and I should have told him that I’m proud that he did come out.
But I honestly believe that being apart of the LGBTQ community isn’t a big deal it’s just your preference in who you date?
So, she’s asking Reddit – who of course, has many thoughts.
The top comment gives the mom the benefit of the doubt, saying that her heart was in the right place, but even if it’s not a big deal to her it’s a big deal to him.
Image Credit: Reddit
This person thinks it was all just a miscommunication…until she outed him to her family, too.
Image Credit: Reddit
This guy who has been there sides with the son.
Image Credit: Reddit
It’s a big moment, so “i don’t care” really isn’t the proper response.
Image Credit: Reddit
Basically, don’t be so flippant when your kids are trusting you with a big moment.
Image Credit: Reddit
I have to agree that she should have given him her undivided attention and tried harder to understand why it was so important to him.
What do you think? How would you have replied? Let’s chat about it in the comments!
