I think that a vast majority of doctors out there have pretty much heard and seen it all not long into their careers. It probably takes a lot to shock them, and even more to give them a memory that will last more than a couple of hours.
Those facts didn’t stop these 16 people from totally cringing over these hilariously embarrassing trips to the doctor, though – so please enjoy!
16. You need to moisturize.
skin on my balls had the texture of dried cooked chicken skin and was flaky, was informed I didn’t have ball cancer but I was masturbating too much
edit: TIL this isn’t a well known thing, take care and moisturise your balls brothers o7
15. At least he was honest.
I had blood in my urine once. Went to the doctor and we figured out that I had popped a small blood vessel in my genital area from jerking off too hard/too often.
Doctor: “Are you sexually active?”
Me: “Not currently.”
Doctor: “Masturbation?”
Me: “A lot.”
Too make things worse, there was some college dude shadowing the doctor that day..
14. I need the rest of this story.
Went and got diagnosed with an STD and was getting lectured about safe sex and cheating and then felt too embarrassed to tell the doctor my wife had actually given it to me.
13. Several days???
RN checking in. I once cared for a patient who attempted prostate massage with a butternut squash — big end first.
Some sphincter slippage ensued and this individual spent several days at home with a 6” winter squash stuck inside before he walked into the ER.
12. Don’t take any chances.
I have a couple but…you can get a pimple on your dick. On the head. Especially if you wrestle. And it’s summer. And the gym doesn’t have a shower. And you have to walk half an hour home.
I had it examined by the head pimple dick urologist and it was without a doubt 100% a pimple. Scariest few days of my life.
11. An awkward consultation.
Had a boil appear on the left side of my left nut. Gradually got bigger and more painful over a few days as I attempted to ‘tough’ it out however it quickly became one of the most painful experiences of my life since every step I took it would rub with my thigh.
Was an awkward consultation to say the least, went around with a third nut for about a week.
10. At least she figured it out.
I was getting ready to go to a BBQ/pool party. Changed in to to my swimsuit, put clothes over it and I was doing chores before I left home. My face started feeling numb and I was getting a headache. Called the advice nurse, she told me to call for an ambulance. Paramedics come, transport me to hospital, check in to the ER. They do an exam, CT scan, and labs. They find nothing and decide to discharge me to follow up with my regular doctor.
While waiting for discharge paperwork, I’m sitting on a hospital bed in the hall. My neck is really aching from my halter-top swimsuit holding my boobs up so I pull the strap over my head to relieve the pressure…. And then it hits me; I’m fairly large chested and my halter-top swimsuit was pinching a nerve in my neck and causing all the symptoms. I was too embarrassed to tell the doctor or nurses.
9. This sounds terrible.
When I was eighteen I got a tick on the end of my penis. After I pulled it out, the right side of my penis swelled up double in size.
I didn’t have a grownup doctor yet so I had to go to my pediatrician to show him my penis.
8. Very strange.
I was doing crunches at a gym one time and somehow ended up pinching my balls the wrong way which resulted in me having excruciating pain. I was sweating bullets and my vision went blurry so my ex girlfriend insisted that I’d go to the ER. There I was still in pain and still sweating bullets when I had to put on a hospital gown and be butt naked underneath.
All the while now my mother is there and so is my ex and her mother and all are there wondering what’s wrong with my balls. Eventually I’m taken into a back room for an ultrasound on my balls which was the most awkward experience ever. The nurse absolutely smothered my balls in lube for the ultrasound and in this particular moment my dick happened to be the smallest it had ever looked.
Eventually the ball torturing ultrasound ends and we get the results….. Nothing. Nothing was wrong with them and after all the pain just went away. I embarrassed myself for no reason.
7. Bless her heart.
I showed him my bruised dick because my gf didn’t know how to give a handy.
6. They all had a look.
A couple of days after my vasectomy, my balls swelled up like tangerines. The whole area, scrotum to butthole, turned purple-black.
I had to go to the emergency room and show it to the triage nurse. Then every nurse that came to check on me while I waited. Then two doctors, then what seemed like every nurse that happened to walk by my bed for the next couple of hours.
5. That landlord is the real hero.
I got a parasite after the water pipes in my city broke due to a hurricane and ended up in the ER for almost 2 weeks. Doctors said it was a third world parasite they’d never seen before, so I had hordes of medical students coming in and out every day asking me really invasive questions.
Then some nurse read that hedgehogs can carry this parasite and, well, I have a hedgehog. So I had to call up my landlord and have her scrape poop off my hedgehog’s wheel at 3am, put it in a bag, and bring it to the hospital for testing. I had random hospital employees coming into my room every few hours after that, asking me if I was the girl with the hedgehog poop.
Found out my hedgehog’s poop was perfectly clean. And the kicker was that this supposed “third world parasite” was just giardia. This was a hospital in New Jersey.
4. Flat-out disgusting.
Not my story, but my mothers. When she was pregnant with me, she had some pain and itching in her genital area. She went to her gynecologist, whom, she says, was a man with a rather odd sense of humor.
She gets into the stirrups and doc gets in between her legs and says “oh! Cottage cheese! Yum!”
Mom had a yeast infection. She found a different doctor, too.
3. You don’t want to skip those.
Telling the ER doctor that no, I don’t think I need an x-ray on my index finger because my finger was bruised and swollen from a cat bite.
He laughed and asked how it happened, and after I told him we both quit laughing real fast when he said “You’re gonna need rabies shots.”
2. Ain’t that always the way.
Anal abscess. Went in to have it lanced, and the nurse was super hot.
She was the one who ended up holding my butt cheeks open so the doctor could drain this massive disgusting cyst.
1. No thank you.
I broke my tailbone pretty bad. Apparently the only way to fix it is by the doctor putting a finger in your butthole and bending it back.
Fixing it hurt more then breaking it.
There’s no way we wouldn’t all feel a bit ashamed about these appointments, right?
What’s the most embarrassing reason you found yourself at the doctor? Our comments are open and we’re dying to hear!
