Yesterday a girl walked into class with an iced coffee and my prof told her she couldn’t have it so she just walked out and never came back and I can’t stop thinking about it

— Rachel Walters (@rachelhelenw) January 31, 2019

In high school we judged everyone but in college you see someone riding past you on a razor scooter wearing a snuggie and it’s like “that is a smart man”

— Brittany:)) (@Brittany_1283) April 3, 2019

to whoever needed to see this:
throw away your empty liquor bottles, they’re not decor

— COMIC DOCTOR 🇿🇼👩‍⚕️ (@tavonga_chinez) June 15, 2021

going to school inbetween thanksgiving and christmas break feels like the last lap in mario kart where the music is all fast and gets really stressful

— hannah (@supersendsauce) November 26, 2018

some kid in the library is bragging loudly about how he got a 35 on the ACT well sir I signed up for the ACT but forgot I did and missed the test and we still ended up at the same school how does that make you feel

— s*d (@06fordexplorer) March 3, 2019

The girl next to me is talking on the phone and says “my first day of classes as a freshman is over, isn’t it crazy that in just 4 years I’ll be working at my dream job” ….should I tell her?

— Lexi (@alexuslemasters) August 14, 2018

half of college professors are like “you can know nothing about me except my name” and the other half are like “and that’s why my wife left me! anyway what’s up with y’all”

— lesbian mothman 🇵🇸 (@verysmallriver) November 1, 2018

Me in HS: yeah I’m involved in 16 clubs, have a 4.0 and I’m on 4 sports teams

Me now: so good news, I’m passing

— JackJerry (@jack_jerry07) April 3, 2019

a tip for everyone starting their freshman year of college soon: nobody cares about you. did u just trip in front of a few people? no one gives a shit. are u lost? don’t be afraid to ask a random person. no one cares. about anything. we’re all dead here.

— Akshay Singh Thakur (@st_akshay) February 23, 2018