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In a perfect world, everyone would be born into a great and loving family that made them want to be around for holidays and to visit home whenever possible.
The truth is that a lot of families give people reasons to stay away instead, which is the case with OP here.
She’s a flight attendant and has used her job as an excuse to never return home after her ex cheated on her with her sister.
They married and had children whom OP has never met.
I’m a flight attendant for a major airline, so working on holidays is a given. I’ve been working long enough I could get holidays and time off if I want, but I don’t take them up on it.
For the past decade, I’ve skipped major family holidays and events like weddings and christenings. Part of it has to do with something that happened a long time ago.
Long story short, my ex knocked up my sister and they got married. I have no interest in them and haven’t met their children. I haven’t even gone back to my hometown since their engagement announcement.
Her parents are aging, though, and want OP to come home for a holiday visit. The last time she told her mother she wasn’t coming her mom broke down in tears.
My mother has been asking me when I’m going to come back. And the answer is never. I tell her I don’t know. Well she and my dad are getting up there in years and they want a family celebration with everyone. Including my cheat of an ex and his family.
She just asked when I’m going to be here for thanksgiving and I told her that work got in the way. She broke down crying over the phone and pleaded with me to put in a time off request so I can see her. My other FA family thinks I should do this one thing because it’s not healthy to put work over family.
OP doesn’t want to play nice with her ex, and it’s clear she’s still hurting.
Honestly, I can’t stand to see my ex happy with his affair partner and what could have been us.
Also I am spending part of the holidays in Bali and have better things to do than be miserable in f**king Cleveland. AITA?
Should she suck it up for her parents’ sake? Reddit is going to let her know!
The top comment says OP has every right to go low or no contact with her family, and she shouldn’t feel badly about having boundaries.
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Several comments, though, said OP should be more up front instead of giving her mother false hope.
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A few people think she might regret avoiding her parents (not her sister).
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Others aren’t so ready to give her parents the benefit of the doubt.
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Either way, a little communication might be in order.
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This is a tough one, but I think I agree that OP should offer to come and just see her parents – their reaction will tell her what she needs to know.
What would your advice be? Would you go home if you were here? Sound off in the comments!
