There are certain things that people say or do that just make it obvious…
I’m referring to childhood trauma and the scars that are left long after people get older.
AskReddit users talked about signs that definitely point to this.
Check out what they had to say.
Avoid at all costs.
“Scared of conflict to the point you avoid it at all costs, certain that if it happens the other person will hate you/ it will end awfully.
You’ve never seen people calmly sit down and discuss their emotions in a loving way, so that world doesn’t exist.”
Sabotage.
“Finding someone perfect for you and then systematically sabotaging it.
Me currently.. found the perfect person for me. 100% think we were made for each other but now that things are looking like they are going to get serious, everything in my body is screaming to run away & trying to find faults in them.”
The extremes.
“Oversharing when you haven’t known the person long OR the opposite where you don’t open up to anybody.
Two extremes.”
No emotion.
“Having a hard time showing emotion.
It makes me sad to find out so many things I’ve struggled with all my life stem from how I was raised and a lot of people don’t deal with them.”
Sorry…
“Always saying sorry.
Feeling guilty for speaking up.
My last boss told me I dont need to apologize so much I apologized for it, its instinctive to me.”
The wrong choices.
“Choosing partners who don’t support, cherish or value you.
Choosing jobs and relationships that reflect the lack of empathy and neglect that you grew up with.”
Be vigilant.
“Super vigilance.
Survival technique.
The kind where you know a parent is going to fly off the handle by the sound the floor makes when they walk.”
Sad.
“Over explaining everything.
Justifying your thoughts and actions in your head as if preparing for someone to pop in and demand an explanation.”
Nobody’s perfect.
“Perfectionism.
This has been a hard lesson for me to learn.
I just always thought I was bad at everything or “lazy” when, in fact, I deal with a crippling level of perfectionism.”
Wow.
“Childish activities become almost like treats.
People can just enjoy watching things from their childhood or playing games or whatever independently from trauma, but it is incredibly common for the people with trauma to basically want to relive their childhood that they lost when they are in a safer environment.”
The mediator.
“Peacekeeping.
A kid doesn’t realize their parent (mom in my case) is an emotionally ab**ive a**hole. All I knew is I didn’t want people to be so mad at each other.
I think my life would have been better if I hadn’t talked them out of divorce.”
All of this stuff.
“Hyperactivity- you can never do enough. Cynicism. No self esteem.
Horrible self talk. No trust in others or yourself.
Living in a fog.
No memory of childhood.
Anger issues.
No tolerance for anything less than perfect, especially from self. Feels like a failure. Can’t feel happy. Ruminating and obsessing over the smallest mistake. Always apologizing.
Emotional dysregulation. Lack of executive functioning skills. Break down is someone corrects or criticizes. Can’t express emotions.”
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