A Person Wanted to Know if They're a Jerk for Making Fun of a Woman in Their 40s for Being Single

The 40-year-old virgin: that term became part of our vocabulary when the hit movie came out all those years ago, but the fact is that a lot of folks do wait to have s*x until they’re much older…or maybe they just don’t do it at all.

And a lot of people enjoy being single or are just by themselves for one reason or another in their fourth decade of life.

And this person asked folks on Reddit’s “Am I the *sshole?” forum if they were wrong for making fun of a woman for being single in her 40s.

Let’s see what happened.

AITA for “making fun” of a woman for being in her 40s and single?

“This whole saga started because my husband took my last name.

A couple weeks ago he got his workplace to change it, and his coworkers found out. About half of them think this is the funniest thing ever and about half are deeply offended. Brenda is in the offended half, and has made that clear.

He and I are in a group chat with his coworkers where we organize carpooling during the pandemic. It is very helpful to us, so we can’t leave the chat. Since he changed his name, my husband and I have been dealing with a lot of dumb jokes in the chat, which we have been mostly ignoring.

Yesterday Brenda, his coworker and I got into a bit of a spat. I messaged the group asking if someone could take my husband home since I wouldn’t be back from work until late and needed the car. One of his other coworkers agreed, and I thought that was that.

Brenda messages the group saying “maybe if you spent less time at work and more time being a wife, your husband wouldn’t come into work with dirty shirts” I took this as a bad joke initially. My husband is a rural mail carrier, so his shirts look like shirts worn by someone in 90 degree heat on dusty roads. I do wash them, but there’s only so much to be done.

Me: I could make cleaning those shirts my full-time job and it wouldn’t do much lol

Brenda: you won’t be married very long if you keep trying to be the man in the relationship. I’d be embarrassed as a wife if I did so little for my husband

Me: well I work more hours and pay the bills, so I think he can oxyclean his own shirts if it’s so important

Brenda: maybe you should learn to take proper care of your husband or you’ll find yourself divorced.

Me: I’ll let you know when I need relationship advice from someone who is 42 and single

Now apparently Brenda is going around and saying that I “mocked her for being single in her 40s”. I don’t care if someone is single in their 40s, but I think it’s absolute bullsh*t that she can call me a bad wife but I can’t point out she has no frame of reference.

AITA reddit?

Edit: people keep asking why I need to help arrange rides in the first place. When my husband is out on deliveries he rarely has cell service, so if I find out late that I’m going to be home late I need to be able to reach his coworkers directly. Multiple spouses are in the chat for the same reasons.

Edit 2: people are saying that I’ve hurt my husband’s feelings by saying I pay the bills. After reading the exchange he sent me a text saying “sometimes I forget you’re a hard little bitch who takes no prisoners. I’m so proud lol.”

He’s fine, I asked him just now if my comment about the bills hurt him and he said “oh yeah, it’s so hard having a hot wife who makes good money. Really tough, pray for me.””