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You Can Buy A Stat-Tracking Smart Condom – For Your Pleasure

Image Credit: Instagram

I don’t know about you, but in my mind, being intimate with a partner is something that should maintain some level of mystery.

Or at the very least, you should just be able to cuddle afterward instead of comparing stats like you’re trying to make the playoffs.

So, this might fall under the category of Nobody Asked For This, but British Condoms is giving it to you anyway: a penis ring that measures all of your stats during sex.

Meet the i.Con (seriously?), a penis ring that holds condoms in place, gathers information during the act, and then texts you or updates your app with all of the deets so you can (not) enjoy the afterglow.

It’s sort of like a Fitbit for your penis, and, honestly, it seems like a terrible idea. Frankly, one of the worst ideas I’ve heard in the last year, which is incredible because 2019 has been filled with disasters.

The i.Con’s nano-chips and sensors track your girth, velocity, calories burned, and so much more – it can even detect proteins or antigens associated with STIs (seems dubious to me…).

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https://goo.gl/NW9dnM #BritishCondoms: i.Con smart condom ring. Utilizing Nano-chip/sensors will measure/remember variables during your sessions. Once your session is completed, you will then be able to use the i.Con app to download your recent data which is paired to the device using Bluetooth technology. Once you have downloaded your data, the i.Con will automatically clear its memory making way for your next session. Read more at #MedGizmo http://goo.gl/rdPmCk about #HealthTech #WearableTech #wearables #sexlife #smartcondom

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Everyone wants that text right after they finish enjoying themselves. Not.

If you’re some kind of masochist and dying to purchase this thing, you can preorder it for $73.58 (if you live outside the U.K. you’re going to need to ask someone to order it for you, though).

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Ojo que hoy te contamos cómo funciona el dispositivo que mide el rendimiento sexual. Como lo lees. Se llama i.Con, es británico y lo mejor es que se supone que es capaz de detectar enfermedades como la gonorrea. ¿Te animas a probarlo? (link en bio) #iCon #britishcondoms #sexo #safesex

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So. There you go.

Another technology win?

I guess you decide!