It takes a certain kind of person to propose to their partner in front of a crowd of random people, like at a basketball game or a concert or something like that.
I personally think it’s very weird and it puts that individual on the spot…and you know you’ve seen videos of these kinds of proposals gone very wrong. The whole thing is just a bad idea, if you ask me.
What do you think?
AskReddit users weighed in on whether public marriage proposals are emotional blackmail.
1. Could be a problem.
“If you’re proposing to someone and neither of you have ever discussed getting married then that’s a problem.
Proposals aren’t supposed to be a 50/50 shot. It’s supposed to be a pretty much guaranteed thing if your really know the other person.”
2. Didn’t seem to mind.
“When my husband proposed I was genuinely surprised.
Firstly, we’d discussed it and as we were new parents it was something we said was for the future.
Secondly, it was in public (at a restaurant) and he is a very British, private, anti attention person.
He knew I would say yes, but I was genuinely surprised at the proposal.
He said he knows how much I love food and he wanted it to be special for me. Little did he realize I wouldn’t be able to eat a bite nor even remember what we ordered.”
3. You can do it the right way.
“My wife and I met while volunteering at a martial arts tournament, but we has already talked about getting married prior to me proposing at the exact same martial arts tournament a year later – also in front of hundreds of people.
If you do it right, it’s sweet and a good memory”
4. Here’s the deal.
“Surprise proposal is fine. Surprise engagement isn’t.
If you’ve had the conversation that 1. You are both on the same page to get engaged and 2. that your partner would enjoy that kind of proposal, it’s fine and no d*ck moves have been made.”
5. Depends on the person.
“This really is up to personal preference.
I have friends who love the idea of being proposed to in front of a crowd, and others who don’t. You’re SO should know which one you are and propose accordingly.
I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing to do.”
6. Doesn’t sound good.
“Strangers are one thing. It’s easy to not give a d*mn what the people in the restaurant you will never see again think.
Proposing to your 7-month-pregnant girlfriend in front of her family and family friends and extended family at her dad’s house in between her dad’s band’s sets…. now THAT is emotional blackmail.
Yes, I have regrets.”
7. Have to be on the same page.
“Yeah it’s more of a formality than anything else.
My girlfriend literally made ground rules for proposing. Has to be in NYC Central Park, at sunset, in the fall, with a professional photographer, and at least two witnesses that are her friends, one from high school, one from college. AND I have to keep it a secret because she wants to be surprised.
How the f*ck am I supposed to pull that off? No idea, but I’m still gonna try cus love is really weird. Honestly, she’d probably say yes if I proposed in an Applebees.
But I want that magic for her, so Central Park it is. Basically, if you’re not 100 percent on a yes, you have no business asking someone to marry you.”
8. Here’s what I’d do…
“Not sure if this is a d*ck move but if this happened to me, I think I would say yes, but then privately and immediately after change it to a no.
Better to just get his heartbroken than also publicly humiliated, too.”
“Surprise proposals in public are an excellent reason and occasion to end the relationship.”
10. Forced into it.
“I’ve always thought people only do that because they’re worried their partner will say no so they basically force them into saying yes.”
11. Too much pressure.
“Asking someone when you’ve not confirmed the answer is going to be yes is also emotional blackmail.
Increase the blackmail pressure x100 for each person watching.”
12. We’re done!
“I hope my future partner never proposes in public. I would have so much anxiety if that happened.
I would immediately break up with them as soon as we hit the house.”
13. Put on the spot.
“I know a girl whose boyfriend set up this whole event where he got her friend to take her to a coffee shop and sit outside at a table. Then he showed up with his guitar and started singing I Think I Want To Marry You.
Then slowly all of her friends and family all appeared and joined in until there was a big crowd and even local press. She said yes, obviously, at the time. Then when it had all blown over and settled down, ‘No.’ in a nice quiet private place. Pair of them were in their 40s.
We weren’t there because we live a long way away but watching the video footage, where the guy sang really well, all I could think about was how it was more about him getting lots of attention than about how much he loved her. She didn’t even really need to be there.
He got everyone looking at him and cheering for him and got lots of lovely attention for himself. She was the afterthought at the end. I wasn’t surprised when she broke that off.”
Okay, now it’s your turn…
Do you think public marriage proposals go way over the line? Or do you think they are perfectly acceptable?
Share your thoughts with us in the comments!