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Fact: there are a lot of people out there who’ve been arrested for really dumb reasons.
Hell, even some of my own friends have gone to jail for doing stupid things when they were drunk or just weren’t using their heads.
Hey, it happens…
Here are some very funny and pretty ridiculous true stories from AskReddit users about the dumbest reasons they’ve seen people get arrested.
1. Looking for a quick escape.
“I’m from a small town and once this stupid guy decides to rob one of the small grocery stores in town.
This idiot apparently didn’t have a car as he decides his getaway transport would be a train as the train station is close. Keep in mind this is a small town where a train comes by every 30 minutes, so not the best idea for a quick escape
Well the grocery store calls the police who have no problem finding this guy, why?
The train station is literally on the other side of the road from the grocery store.”
2. Oh, boy…
“My sister was a legal assistant for a while when she was in school.
She went to a hearing with her lawyer and the judge asked the defendant “And how much marijuana did you have on you?”, to which the defendant responded “Oh no your honor, it was cocaine!”
Not entirely sure how that got messed up, but the judge apparently gave the look of “how fucking stupid are you”.”
3. Called the cops on yourself?
“Back in my first year of uni a guy in halls who was the biggest druggie ever got super high and called the police because “someone in his flat has lots of drugs and was selling them”.”
4. At the bus depot…
“I’m not a lawyer or a police officer, but I do know the dumbest crime I’ve ever heard of. My dad’s hallmate from university.
A young man, walking home from a night out, passed a bus depot and decided to take a bus for a spin, help people get home etc. Upon return to the bus depot, he was arrested on a few charges including drink driving, endangering the public, and a weird form of theft as he returned it without prompting.
Following the charges, he was released awaiting trial, likely going to receive a nasty slap on the wrist, some fines, maybe a short prison stay, and a suspension of his driving licence.
Not long before the trial, he needed a good night out with friends, and he walked home past that same bus depot, it was just too tempting.
He served 2 years.”
5. What a moron.
“Had one of our state Troopers bring a guy into the county jail for “Failure to yield at Green light.” It was a $20 ticket but the guy kept telling the trooper to arrest him, so he did.
Dude cried like a baby when he got booked in. Trooper called his bluff. (He got out in about 6 hours.)”
6. A drunken mistake.
“Lawyer. Client was arrested because he got drunk one night, headed home (forgetting he had just moved OUT of this particular house). Confused when his key didn’t work, but too drunk to realise his mistake.
Smashed a window to get in, ate some chips, then realised his mistake when he noticed all the furniture that wasn’t his. He was charged with break & enter, and larceny for eating the chips.”
7. That’s pretty dumb…but not his fault.
“A former coworker got a speeding ticket, called to pay the ticket, person on the other end there was no record of any citation for him, after a few minutes of back and forth, the person insists he does not have a ticket.
A few months later gets pulled over again, after an investigation it turns out the person on the phone had misheard the information my coworker had given them. He paid the ticket and they let him leave.”
8. Pulling a fast one.
“I was on a ride-along.
Guy gets pulled over, hands his brother’s ID to the officer. It is not a good match. Officer asks him when he was born. He gets that one right.
Asks him how old he is. He’s off by two years. He’s being put in the car and the officer says “You’re the first guy I’ve arrested for bad math.”
9. Burning down the house.
“I’m a firefighter and I was at a fire/arson/domestic violence kind of scene.
Dude had piled all his old lady’s stuff in and around the fireplace and set it all on fire. He was with the cops after we had put out the fire and was explaining the situation. He told the cop he was intending to burn up her stuff, AND burn down the house.
The cop patiently explained to him that setting her stuff on fire in a fireplace was one thing, but trying to burn down an (occupied) house was something completely different and would the gentleman like to clarify and possibly revise his statement. The guy repeated that he was trying to both burn up the stuff confined to the fireplace, and also to burn the house down with them in it.
The cop explained again the difference between the two offenses and again requested clarification, but our hapless offender stood by his story. At this point the officer read a short statement from a card he caried in his pocket and then requested a much more official and legally binding version from the resident.
Said resident patiently and obstinately explained that he was trying to Burn. Down. The. House. And. All. The. Stuff. and couldn’t be more clear in his explanation if the officer wouldn’t listen to him.
I got called on the case a couple times and the guy ended up with 12 years in the Florida prison system. Maybe possibly PMITA prison, but probably just regular old “play cards and wonder why cops are stupid” prison.”
10. You have warrants.
“Man steals car, man runs out of gas, man calls us for help because other states have spoiled their people by bringing them gas for free, man also happens to have fully extraditable warrants…so he goes to jail and car is recovered.”
11. From the 1970s.
“Not my story but my grandfathers (faintly remember so some details will be left out)
In was around the 1970s in NH my grandpa responded to robbery and when they got there no one was there so they started to investigate the scene when they went around back and saw a guy in all black just chillin digging through the trash and asked what he was doing, he said “I’m looking for my friends” and my grandpa asks him he if he needed help finding his friends and the guy said yes so not more than 5 minutes later the guy called out into the woods and had 2 other men in all black come out and you’ll never guess it but they’re the ones that robbed the place and all went to jail because of their dumbass friend.”
12. Don’t mess with Texas.
“Not a cop or a lawyer but I just saw on the news that these kids that are pretty young decided to go on a chase with state troopers thinking they would stop chasing them after they crossed a county line. Nope, still in Texas means they will hunt you down.
Anyway, so the cops continue to chase them down the expressway and the kids are live streaming this on Facebook. Talking mad smack about how the cops have nothing on them and they need to leave them alone.
It ends with the kids getting their car tires popped and them going off into the side and the cops telling them to get on the ground while they cry and apologize to their moms.
Turns out one of their friends in the car was a fugitive, he was really young. I think I read somewhere that two of the 3 kids are fugitives but I don’t have confirmation. Pretty wild stuff.”
13. That is ridiculous.
“I am not a police officer but i have a friend living in my basement who was arrested and charged for Assault With A Weapon. The weapon in question was a Tomato!!
He threw it at his girlfriend and she called the cops and pressed charges!! He plead guilty and is now on probation for 12 months!!”
14. That seems like a HUGE waste of time.
“I used to work at a juvenile detention center.
We had a local police department bring in a ten year old boy for hitting his house with a broomstick.”
Wow…some people really need to get their act together…
Do you know anyone who’s been arrested for a particularly dumb crime?
Maybe that person is YOU?
If so, please tell us a story in the comments!
