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Weddings are stressful, and part of the thing that makes them that way is the coming together of two different families. Every family does this differently, has their own unique way of interacting, and the new person coming in has to figure out how to roll with the punches.
That said, when those punches are mean and well-aimed, should we really have to put up with it?
This woman has a mom who is one of those “calls it like she sees it” people, and she sticks to that method no matter other people’s feelings – which doesn’t make you honest, it just makes you a jerk, if you ask me.
I f25 am getting married to my fiance “Kevin” next month. My family love Kevin and Kevin loves them. However, my mom is the “brutally honest” type who constantly dish out her opinions and thought on what people wear, how they look, how well off they are…
Mostly negative, tasteless, backhanded comments. She says she can’t help it and that no one should be offended when she’s just being honest.
OP’s husband-to-be is sensitive about his lack of facial hair, so of course, Mom has latched onto that and won’t let it go.
When she met Kevin, she kept making comments about him, his car, his degree etc. With time and strict conversations I was able to get her to show some respect.
But she kept annoying Kevin by constantly talking about his hairless face (his face is clean he doesn’t have a beard or mustache which he can be very insecure about, he comes from Irish origins so he’s white, he has no facial hair while I’m hispanic) mom made jokes with her husband about how “unmanly” it is to not be able to grow a beard or a mustache.
Those comments hurt Kevin so much.
OP has spoken with her about it more than once, and was hopeful that perhaps she had finally gotten through to her.
I had as very very stern conversation with her and she said “oh I didn’t realize those remarks were offending him I was just teasing him” or “you know me I’m just giving my humble, honest opinion so he shouldn’t take it personal and should learn that this is how I am”.
She ended up sincerely apologizing to Kevin and we left it at that.
Then, they gathered for a big family dinner at her place. OP’s mom handed the fiancee a wedding gift and insisted he open it in front of everyone.
It was shaving kit, which the future mother-in-law thought was hilarious.
As the wedding is approaching. Mom decided to give Kevin a wedding gift and also to let him know how sorry she was for her past behavior. She invited the whole family for dinner and decided it was the perfect time to hand Kevin his wedding gift.
He thanked her but she insisted that he open it right there and then and show everyone what she got him since she knew him that well already. He opened the box and found a set of shaving tools with a shaving cream. Kevin stopped for a sec and kept staring at the gift.
My stepdad took it and showed everyone then mom and others started laughing while stepdad kept saying ” you get the joke Kev? You get it?”.
Even after the fiancee stormed out and OP lost it on her family, all of them claimed they were just giving him a hard time and he needed to lighten up.
And my brother running around the table laughing with everyone. Kevin got up and walked out. I was so mad I lost it on mom asking why she did that and humiliated Kevin infront of everyone.
She told me to relax she was just messing with him but I said she knew how he felt about this topic and demanded she apologize but she said no since she wasn’t responsible for his reaction and thought he was going to laugh along.
OP told her mother that she wouldn’t be getting an invitation to the wedding until she apologized, and she’s inclined to stick to her guns even though her family is screaming that she’s being unreasonable.
I angrily said ” no apology, no wedding invitation, period” then walked out.
She freaked out calling try to say we overreacted to a joke and my brother said I was crazy to exclude mom from my wedding over something so stupid. he said Kevin should get over it since it was a joke but I refused to send an invitation and withheld until/unless she apologizes.
They think I’m unreasonable choosing this to be my hill to die on and called me disrespectful for how I treated my mom.
Is she overreacting? Should her fiancee just learn how to take a joke? Reddit is weighing in, so let’s hear what they have to say!
The top comment suggests that not only is OP not the jerk, here, but that some revenge might be in the cards.
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These people do not have forgiveness on their minds.
Image Credit: Reddit
Always ask these people to explain why their jokes are supposed to be funny.
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I feel like she is pretty much on his side, but forever is still a long time to have to deal with these people.
Image Credit: Reddit
Everyone but the fiancee really needs to grow up.
Image Credit: Reddit
I’m totally appalled that grown people think “teasing” someone like schoolyard bullies is an ok thing to do.
Do you think OP should do something more? Less? Give us your thoughts in the comments!
