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Parenting is fraught with invisible land mines that most of us barely avoid touching some days – and there are plenty of days when we blow everything up, too.
Lately, most of us have been keen to help especially our daughters avoid being shamed for their weight, body type, or any other appearance-related pitfall – but that doesn’t mean we can stop parenting them on their choices altogether.
This parent has two children, one boy and one girl. When they went out for dinner one night, each child was allowed to choose their own meal – he chose chicken nuggets and fries (as one does) and she chose a chicken caesar salad.
I have two kids : a 7 year old son and a 9 year old daughter. Every other week I take them to activities in a certain mall and in between we go to a local fast food chain in between.
Now I do usually have my kids have a healthy diet but for those rather rare occasions I let them choose whatever they want. I don’t believe going to a fast food place but then restricting their order so they wont enjoy rather unhealthy food makes sense.
So the kids menu comes with many different options and the menu even has pictures of all the food. They go every week so they know.
My son chose chicken nuggets and fries as the main, a drink and a cookie for dessert. Just what I would have expected My daughter picked the chicken Ceasar salad.
The adult was surprised by the choice and even made sure that’s really what she wanted, likely because they know their daughter very well at this point.
I did not expect that, asked her if she was sure, explained it did not come with fries (she loves fries). She insisted. Last time I had the salad and she tried one of the croutons and a piece of chicken and loved them.
I did not care too much, and a Ceasar salad is great, it’s not like just snacking a few salad leaves like a rabbit. There is sauce, cheese, chicken, fried chicken and croutons as extras. Plus she had the ice cream for dessert.
Everything was fine until the food arrived, and after a few bites of salad, the daughter realized she had made a grave error.
Small offerings from her brother were met with hostility.
Well the food came, we sat down and after taking a few bites she started complaining about the food. She saw my son eat his chicken nuggets and dip the fries in sauce.
She asked him for one, he let her try the fries and gave her a nugget as he usually can’t finish all anyways.
OP told her that she wasn’t going to get a second meal, since she knowingly chose the salad when she had her pick of anything on the menu.
The girl threw a fit, refusing to share her parent’s food when offered as well.
Then she decided that instead of the salad she wanted fries now. I said no, she has to eat the salad. Or well, i would not make her eat it but I won’t buy her fries instead.
My argument is that she choose it, she is old enough to make that choice and there is nothing wrong with the salad , it looks delicious.
I even offered to give her some of my meal (a Baguette sandwich ) but she wants nuggets and fries now.
She started throwing a fit. I ignored it, told her to sit and eat or at least stop screaming now or there would be consequences.
That’s when a well-meaning (we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt) stranger popped up, demanding that OP stop “body shaming” the girl by forcing her to eat a salad while her brother got fried deliciousness.
OP told her to mind her business.
Some old Lady heard her and I guess she picked up the “it’s not fair that he gets nuggies and fries and she has to eat “that stupid salad”. Well the lady went off on me. How i am treating my kids unfairly and how I should not body shame my daughter.
I told her to get out of my business and shut up, she does not know what she is talking about.
For reference, both children are within a healthy body weight, though the son is on the low end and the daughter on the high. This could be why the nosy neighbor thought to intervene.
Now OP wants to know if they should have allowed the daughter a mulligan on her meal choice.
Note: my son is extremely slim for his age. He is a very active child and quite tall. He is underweight but his doctor said it’s nothing to worry about as long as he is eating normally, it can be that way for kids his age.
My daughter is on the heavier side of average. The doctor is also not much concerned here, her weight is within what is okay, just on the higher end of that. So it might have seemed like it was because my daughter is not as extremely skinny that she did not get the fried food which is not what happened
AITA for making my daughter the Salad she chose instead of buying her nuggets and fries like her brother!
I have a feeling I know where Reddit is going to come down on this parenting decision, but let’s see!
The top comment points out that there are no do-overs in life, and they were only trying to teach their daughter a good lesson.
Image Credit: Reddit
Strangers do not have all of the necessary information when they butt in, so just ignore him.
Image Credit: Reddit
Since the salad was ordered because she wanted it and for no other reason, the parent definitely has no guilt here.
Image Credit: Reddit
We all know restaurant salads aren’t exactly health food anyway, right?
Image Credit: Reddit
Only intervene when you’ve been specifically invited, like on Reddit!
Image Credit: Reddit
Y’all, mind your business unless you’re sure someone is being actively harmed, mmmkay?
And parents, keep doing the good work. You’ve got this.
