This is one of those posts where just reading the headline seems like it’s enough information to make the call. Anyone who isn’t responsible for a beloved pet – or careful with the life of any animal, to be honest – isn’t the kind of person I’d want to spend my life with.
Sometimes the devil is in the details, though, so let’s hear these before we make a final call.
It began when OP (original poster) left his dog home with his fiancee during her bachelorette party.
He says he specifically told her to put the dog away in the bedroom once the party got going.
Me (28M) and fiancee (27F) have been together for 4 years, engaged for 6 months. I also have a 7 year-old lab mix who is the greatest dog in existence.
On Saturday, fiancee had a bachelorette party at home. I stayed with my parents but I left the dog with her because she likes having him there. However, I made sure to tell her to put the dog in our bedroom once the party gets going.
The next morning, OP got a frantic call that something was wrong with the dog. They both raced to the emergency vet, where she was clearly upset and her friends told him the dog was alive but sick.
5am on Sunday I get a frantic call that something’s wrong with the dog. She was drunk, so I told her to get a taxi and go to the emergency vet clinic. When I got there, she looked like she hadn’t stopped crying for hours and she couldn’t even speak.
Two of her friends were there so they told me my dog is alive but not well. I felt sorry for her for an entire 10 minutes while waiting for the doctor.
Then the doctor informed them the dog was sick because it had gotten into substantial amounts of both edibles and alcohol – they had failed to lock him up or watch him after they’d started drinking.
But then, the doctor told me my dog ingested large amounts of alcohol and chocolate edibles. The girls apparently thought it would be cool to leave everything out on short coffee tables, leave the dog to wander around instead of putting him in our bedroom, and then get wasted and not notice he was going to town with the booze and edibles.
At home, he told her to get out and that it was over, which she did.
Her friends and family think he’s nuts to end a 4-year relationship over a mistake, but also, they weren’t very nice about it.
When we got home, I told my fiancee to pack and get out of my house and my life. I told her to tell her guests the wedding is off, and I’ll tell mine. She was shocked, but she took her things and left.
2 hours later, I get bombarded by messages on Messenger, Whatsapp, by her sisters, brother, brother’s wife, her mom, her friends, telling me that I am insane to do this to her after 4 years. They started off defending her, but it quickly turned into insulting me.
And get this – his family agrees.
The dog is fine, so everyone thinks he should just forgive and forget, and his best man admitted that OP might have overreacted.
The logical thing for me to do was look for comfort in my friends and family. Nope. They all fucking agree. My mom said: “Well, it was a mistake, she didn’t do it on purpose, besides – the dog didn’t die!” Lucky me, eh? My dog didn’t fucking die!
My sister was appalled that I cancelled the wedding “over that?!” and even my best man said I might have overreacted. Yes, our relationship has had ups and downs, but it’s mostly worked fine. But I am so disgusted at my fiancee that I can’t even imagine looking her in the eye, let alone spending my whole life with her. She isn’t fucking 17, she is 27!
The thing is, this isn’t the first time he’s thought her actions were immature, and he worries that someone will eventually get hurt for real.
By the way, this is not the first dumb thing she has done. She likes to text while driving, she always leaves stuff on the electric stove (like kitchen towels, the cutting board etc.) even though she has turned on the wrong burner and burnt whatever was on it several times in the past, and similar DANGEROUS things. It’s not something I hold against her in the sense that I would ever mention in a fight, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that she might end up killing herself or someone else. For example, my dog.
I’m 99% sure I will stand by my decision. But am I really an asshole? Literally nobody is on my side and I have no idea what to think.
He edited the post to add that he’s realized maybe it’s not about the dog at all, or at least, not just about the dog.
Posting here kind of triggered me to conclude this isn’t about the dog at all. She is negligent and irresponsible and I don’t want to stick around and possibly see our child die in a car accident some day because she was texting or she forgot to put his seat belt on. I’d rather be an asshole now than spend years of my life worrying every time our child is left alone with her.
If she’d accidentally killed a person while texting and driving, I would also leave her. I guess I realized I don’t want to spend my life with someone who has such blatant disregard for human (or animal) life.
But what did the general public have to say about his hardline approach?
Here we go!
This person pointed out that if you’re in a relationship with someone who means less to you than your pet, it’s probably not the right person for you.
Plenty of people think Everyone Sucks Here because OP isn’t taking responsibility for his own poor decision to leave the dog there in the first place.
They really don’t seem well-suited.
They also suggested that if OP wants to avoid judgement, perhaps he shouldn’t divulge the details of their breakup.
And yeah, a few people thought OP was way harsh, Tai.
I’m still on the side of OP, because he has very good reasons for ending it, but I do think he probably could have been more considerate about it.
What do you think? Let’s hash it out in the comments!