Ex-Inmates Talk About the Stupidest Things They’ve Seen Prisoners Do on Their First Day Behind Bars

©Unsplash,Damir Spanic

I have to say that one of my biggest fears in life is going to prison.

I know it’s irrational because I’m not a criminal, but I think it would truly be one of the most terrifying experiences a person could go through…and you really never know because life has a tendency to change in an instant.

There is definitely a code of conduct behind bars and there are certain things you definitely don’t do.

AskReddit users shared their thoughts.

1. Don’t do that!

“My first time in I went to take a shower for the first time. I got undressed and was about to step in when like 6 people all started yelling at me “put some fucking shoes on dumbass white boy”.

After that I bought some shower shoes.”

2. From a veteran…

“I did 14 years in federal prison for wire fraud. I got out last February. I’m 36. Some things I can say are these:

-While your sexuality may not be an issue outside of prison, inside prison, male inmates who are openly gay are generally disrespected.

-Gambling and drugs create debts that are at some point unable to be paid and can result in serious issues for yourself.

-Most prisons operate a social hierarchy based on gang affiliations or hometowns, although there can be large separations based on race. However, rapists and child molesters will basically be free game for anyone who wants to take their shit or torment them.

-You might have been a badass outside of prison, but generally you can’t fight several people at once, which is what would happen if you talk about how much of a badass you are. Keep your shit to yourself and don’t talk crazy to people, which is seen as disrespect. Respect/disrespect has a different meaning in prison, and you’ll figure it out.

-Best to just keep to yourself unless as much as possible unless you want to embrace prison life and become institutionalized. PRISON IS NOT A PLACE TO MAKE FRIENDS.”

3. A terrible mistake.

“Goofy looking kid, curly hair, thick glasses. He comes in and for some reason he befriends me. He starts telling me what he did (sexual assault if a minor). I told him not to be telling nobody that shit because it’ll get you in trouble.

The rest of that day and the next (I bailed out by then) I could hear him from across the hall telling other people. Not surprised if he’s been kicked around a few times.”

4. Don’t get in debt.

“Kid gets booked in, hits the unit and starts borrowing food and other commissary items. Before he knew it he was $200 in the hole. Problem is, in jail and prison, most people who are willing to loan items out expect 2 or 3 of the same item back.. ya know, interest.

Very easy way to get yourself indebted is by borrowing any food or other items.

Never get in debt while incarcerated.”

5. Just keep quiet.

“Not prison, but jail. I was geting put in irons with a tiny little shit next to me going to a court date. He looks at me and says loud as fuck “what did you do?”

I looked at him and said “Were going to our arraignments are you fucking stupid?” It’s sad when the COs, and Deps laugh out loud.”

6. Not very bright.

“Tell literally everyone how he was going to escape, and showed off all the tools he was using.”

7. Avoid at all costs.

“There was an old myth that if you challenged the meanest guy in your block to a fight everyone else would leave you alone. It’s true, no one will torment you…if you are dead. Kid tried it and got dropped off the fifth tier.

First day in Gen pop, last day in gen pop. Most guys just want to do their time alone. Most rape and violence in prison is about debt or tax. If you play it straight 98% of guys will just leave you alone. Fucking someone up on the yard makes your time worse, not better. Loss of privilege, of time in solitary, most people don’t want that. Most of the straight up psychopaths are in 23/1 lock down anyway.

You get in debt or shoot your mouth off and you will get settled or taxed, both are to be avoided.”

8. Don’t mess with the TV.

“A new guy was in his 50s and had developed addiction problems later in life. He somehow thought that his age afforded him control of the remote for the only tv on the range.

The 10 inmates that rushed his cell, kicked the living shit out of him and threw him down the stairs felt otherwise.”

9. Right in the face.

“Where I was in prison they utilized 40mm Soft Round launchers to respond to group disturbances. Let me tell you, they weren’t soft. Kid comes in thinking he’s still hardcore from juvenile hall because guards there didn’t do anything when people fought.

Decided to up and join a gang that he knew nothing about on his first day, thought he was tough and started to diss the gang they had high tensions with at the time, and started a group disturbance.

COs respond, tell him to get down, he refuses and curses at them, BOOM 40mm to his face. (Was an accidental shot to the face according to the CO) face was distorted as hell after. Fractured skull. On his first day…”

10. Just some of the rules.

“Meh it really depends on the block you’re in by how much you can get away with. But one time we had someone who got kicked out of another dorm for snitching on someone get placed in our dorm and immediately got his ass beat.

And also fake claiming you’re in a gang is a very quick way to get jumped. And also don’t owe people money.”

11. Get in the shower.

“Not shower. for weeks.

He got his clothes ripped up and he was thrown half naked into the showers.

They also tuned him up pretty good.”

12. Smart move.

“Got busted for smoking weed with two buddies.

When put in the holding cell one of them wanted mark the event by carving his name in the paint on the cell door.

When we got put in a cell later they came back and took him to solitary for a week.”

13. Creeper.

“Admit that he was in for sexual assault and being a pedo.

And then it was about 8pm and we found out he was a chronic masturbater and he would not stop jacking off in his bunk.

He was 22. And it was jail, not prison, so at that moment, we had mayyyybe 12-15 people in our cell.

Some guy woke up from a nap and thought he was having a seizure, so he went to go check on him.

What a god damn shock they both had…”

14. What an idiot.

“When the skinny little “street thug” white kid walked across the yard and threw a “my n***a” at a bench full of full blown Crips.

Didn’t see him much after that shit storm.”

Let’s all just learn about prison from afar, okay?

How about you? Have you ever done any time or know people who have?

Tell us about those experiences in the comments.

We’d love to learn more about it!