You know, if he were a real person and not a character.

I’m not sure anyone is surprised by these findings – though the fact that the Medical Journal of Australia did a study on James Bond’s drinking habits probably raised a few eyebrows. The research does cast Bond’s sexy, devil-may-care, playboy image into somewhat of a sadder light.

Image Credit: Eon Productions

The authors say Bond displayed “severe alcohol use disorder” over the course of his 6 decades and 24 movies, drinking 109 times on screen. In his most excessive outing (Quantum of Solace), he drank 6 Vespers, which would have put his blood alcohol level at about .36 grams per deciliter.

“Enough to kill some people,” the authors noted.

Image Credit: Eon Productions

His drinking habits – binge drinking, drinking and driving, drinking and fighting, drinking and getting into bed with ladies – qualify for more than half of the American Psychiatric Association’s DSM-5 criteria for alcohol use disorder.

“There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the ‘severe’ end of the spectrum. He should seek professional help and try to find other strategies for managing occupational stress.”

Image Credit: Eon Productions

Of course, since he’s been young and handsome and killing the spy game since 1962, he probably doesn’t have a whole lot of health concerns. Also, again, he’s a fictional character.

The study was meant to be a fun exercise but ended up winning a competition held by the Journal around Christmas.

I guess this proves even scientists have senses of humor (and good taste in movies). Who knew?