That’s right, in case you haven’t heard, some people in Boston are planning a “straight pride” parade this summer in response to all the gay pride events taking place in June. It may be pride month, but you know how oppressed straight white men are in this country.
“Straight Pride” parade planned in Boston. With floats. pic.twitter.com/JcTsGRjNPn
— carolynryan (@carolynryan) June 4, 2019
Here are some of the funniest reactions to the planned event.
1. Nailed it
The Straight Pride Parade is just five guys wearing this pic.twitter.com/rBMUzdqjk7
— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) June 4, 2019
The Straight Pride Parade should end at a giant clitoris so they just end up walking in circles until they die because they can’t find it.
— Meg Bee (@onedankmom) June 4, 2019
3. Pretty much
isn’t a straight pride parade just traffic
— lil arab (@sweatyhairy) June 4, 2019
4. Nobody wants it
Honeydew is the straight pride parade of melons.
Boring, flavorless, and nobody ever really asks for it.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) June 5, 2019
5. Looks like a blast
Straights are really doing a straight pride parade… pic.twitter.com/Z6NXFydgUo
— Euphoria (@cheescakepan) June 4, 2019
6. A humiliating defeat
you know the straight pride parade is just everyone who got rejected from a conga line at a party
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 5, 2019
if the straight pride parade happens, I might actually stand a chance on Xbox Live for a couple of hours
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 5, 2019
8. Can you spare some?
Straight pride parade lmao people really be out here like this pic.twitter.com/Xix8xkPGIL
— big mess (@blubberypancake) June 4, 2019
I’m confused I thought they already had straight pride isn’t that what coachella is?
— Elise Bauman (@baumanelise) June 5, 2019
10. Sounds awesome
A straight pride parade is just 5 guys bullying someone wearing their school football team jersey in the middle of the street.
— ImAllexx (@ImAllexx) June 5, 2019
11. This is taking forever…
Straight Pride is going to be the longest parade ever because they are going to walk so freaking slow.
— Brian (@PhillyGinger) June 4, 2019
every time you catch yourself thinking there should be a “straight pride” parade put a dollar in a jar and then at the end of the month use that money to go see a therapist
— discount pete davidson (@im_your_density) June 5, 2019
13. July is the best
straight pride is basically year round:
february: super bowl
march: st. patricks day
july: old navy 4th of july sale
october: columbus day
november: black friday
give us one f*cking month, damn.
— stephen ossola (@stephenossola) June 4, 2019
14. Beige all day
To those of you celebrating straight pride, remember your flag colors and what they mean! pic.twitter.com/QJ99xTTZDB
— Big Queer Cat (@CrownlessCat) June 4, 2019
Isn’t a straight pride parade just the drive thru line at Chick-Fil-A?
— Christine Thompson (@Druncan_Hines) June 4, 2019
Sounds like it’s gonna be a real hoot!