I like to think that majority of people who choose to live in close proximity with others like to be neighborly when we can. We feed their cats, we keep an eye on their houses, and sure, if someone is out of eggs or milk and in a desperate situation, we’re more than happy to lend it out.
This woman went into a neighbor situation with this attitude, but things have gotten out of hand and she’s starting to feel taken-advantage of.
Her neighbors make more than OP, who is a single mother, but still the wife constantly asks to “borrow” food that she never replaces.
I (30s) live in a rental that also has another rental house on the same property. I am a single mom who works a full time job. My new neighbor (40s)(who moved in at the beginning of November) has been constantly pestering me for different groceries.
Her husband makes $60,000 a year according to her whereas I make around $18000. She is home all day and gets the mail for both houses.
Before Thanksgiving, the neighbor didn’t get to her shopping in time and asked OP for 2o-30 items. OP lent her the few she had on hand but they were not replaced.
Right before Thanksgiving, I went to the grocery store and had to go to several because most of the stores were out of things. She waited until the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to do her shopping. They were out of a lot of things. She sent me a long text with about 20-30 things she “needed”.
I told her I didn’t have most of the items but had a few. She begged for the few that I had. Since I had extra I gave her what I had (3 jars of peanut butter, 4 cans of green beans, 6 cans of beans, and 2 cans of cranberry sauce).
She said Thank you but never offered to pay or replace them.
A few weeks later when she knew OP was going on her weekly grocery run, the neighbor sent her a text with about 80 items she needed and asked OP to pick them up.
OP told her she didn’t have the money nor the time, and held firm when OP pitched a fit.
The 1st week of December, she asked me for more items but I didn’t have any of the items. She repeated this the 2nd week. I ran errands on Sunday and she sent me a text with about 80 items she wanted me to shop for.
I told her I didn’t have the extra money for one and second I didn’t have the time to shop for two households. She got really upset and told me it wouldnt take that much longer to pick up her 80 items.
I told her I wasn’t able to.
The next time the neighbor asked for groceries OP told her she couldn’t afford to keep giving them things and needed to think about feeding her child.
The neighbor got upset and said since OP qualified for SNAP and they don’t, she should help out when she could.
Tonight, my cell phone chirped for a text message while I was giving my son a bath. Within 2 minutes, she is bamming on my door because she needed peanut butter, milk, evaporated milk, condensed milk and butter.
I told her that I have to stretch my food dollars and cannot afford to keep giving them groceries. She replied that I was getting SNAP (she knows this because she “accidentally” opens my mail constantly). I told her I don’t get very much and I just qualified on Friday and I had to buy baby food for my son.
She told me I was being an a$$hole because they don’t qualify for any help and the least that I can do is help them when they need help.
The neighbor is trying to convince her she’s the jerk, here, but is she?
I may be the asshole because I refuse to shop for her.
We have 7 grocery stores with 7 miles and all of them have delivery available.
Reddit has some thoughts, and I for one can’t wait to hear them!
The top comment calls the behavior “outrageous” and suggests OP bring it up to the husband to see whether or not the behavior stops.
More than a few people pointed out that opening someone else’s mail is illegal, so OP could always bring that up next.
Seriously, that part is really not cool.
I am now sure this is exactly what is going on here.
There are rules about food stamps, too, that she could use as another excuse.
This…I have honestly never heard of anything like this before and I am stunned that someone would send another person an 80-item grocery list. Just what?
How would you have told this woman to shove it? Would you have been as patient as OP? Let’s compare reactions in the comments!