Most people in the world are at least aware of the social contract we sign in order to operate as part of a society. Which means, when they’re being a**holes or acting like they’re the only human being alive in a space, they’re probably doing it on purpose.
If you’re one of the people out there ignoring these 14 common rules of etiquette, well…get yourself together.
14. Learn to embrace the silence.
A huge pet peeve of mine is people who can’t keep their mouth shut- that just have to constantly hear the sound of their voice.
The other day in the sauna at my gym, there was this guy doing that- he randomly asks another guy what he thought of Bernie Sanders running for president. They went back and forth for like 30 seconds but the other guy clearly wasn’t interested and it tapered off. Not even a minute later. “Bro”. “Bro”, he nudges me. “You ever watch Shameless?”
“No.” Doing the least possible to engage him here.
Asks another guy the same question 2 minutes later.
Shut the fuck up, people. Small talk is fine, I’m not some anti social asshole but you can learn to enjoy silence and not needing to have a conversation with every stranger you see. Especially in a situation like this- you’re essentially holding people captive and forcing them to listen to your bullshit.
13. Or just brush your teeth every day.
Brush your teeth before a date.
12. And not just if you work there.
Wash your damn hands after using the bathroom.
11. It’s so awkward if you don’t.
Stand up to shake someone’s hand if you’re sitting down.
10. Please please please don’t text while driving.
Washing your hands after using the bathroom or cooking, especially if you’re cooking raw meat (edit: a term I’ve heard people use for anti-vaxxers is “pro-diseasers” and I think that applies to people who don’t wash their hands too)
Don’t change the conversation just to suit yourself.
Don’t text while driving, even if you are waiting at a junction and the light is red. Just put your phone away, you should be alert on the road at all times.
9. This goes double for women who think hovering over the seat is going to save them from…whatever.
Don’t piss all over the toilet seats of public bathrooms.
8. So simple, but it applies way too often.
Use the turn signal when appropriate.
7. You can take a hint.
Introverts neither need nor want your “help”. Also, introversion is not synonymous with “social anxiety” or any other kind of social deficiency or disorder. It’s just a personality characteristic. It’s rude as hell to try to “fix” an introvert. We’re not “broken” we’re just not the same as you.
Furthermore, the person sitting by themselves with a book is not sad or lonely, he’s enjoying his book and his solitude. Don’t interrupt. It’s rude, not friendly.
6. Nobody loves the pop in.
Call before you come. Don’t just pop over, out the blue.
5. Plus, everyone knows it’s bad luck.
Grave Etiquette. When walking among graves in a cemetery it is impolite to walk or to stand directly upon a grave. The proper etiquette is to walk alongside headstones and to stand off to the side of a buried person.
4. Please be aware of your surroundings at all times.
You walk in the halls the same way you drive in your car.
Stay on your side of the hallway, dipping only to go around people.
If someone is stopped in the way (and you can’t go around), speak (like honking) don’t push (bumping their vehicle).
Wave in passing, don’t stop in the middle of the route to have extended discussions.
3. Your mother taught you better.
Cover. Your. Fucking. Mouth. When. You. SNEEZE.
2. I can’t even believe this has to be said.
It’s rude to fuck around on your smartphone when someone is trying to have a conversation with you.
1. Full. Freaking. Stop.
Do not send unsolicited nude photos.
Seriously, how hard is it to at least act like you recognize that others are sharing your space when you’re in public? Sheesh!
Have you got any to add to the list? Drop them in the comments!
