Most parents, I think, try to put on a brave face for their kids across the board. We want them to be able to be kids, without the worries of adulthood. We manage or financial trouble, medical woes, and even relationship issues behind closed doors as much as possible.
That said, sometimes problems get so big they can’t really be hidden – and sometimes, parents decide it would benefit their kids to peek behind the adulthood curtain.
This mother and her daughter have always had a great relationship and, even through the pandemic, were comfortable as far as money.
AITA for telling my daughter we’re having financial problems?
I (36f) adopted my niece Hailey (8f) when she was 14 months old. Hailey is beautiful, kind, and smart and is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I own my own restaurant and the shutdowns affected us but I rent out a few houses and apartments so I still had an income and my best friend Amy (36f) and her daughter Grace (7f) moved in with us in January because she wanted to go back to school and wanted to save money. This arrangement was perfect because with her school schedule and my work schedule, one of us was always home with the girls and we rarely had to pay for childcare.
Now, between my restaurant, the rent from the houses and apartments, and some investments, Hailey and I were pretty comfortable.
There was recently a fire at my restaurant and we’re going to be out of business for a while. On top of that, one of my apartments flooded and the repairs aren’t cheap.
Hailey walked in on me and Amy talking about our financial situation and budgeting. She asked what we were doing and I said that Amy and I were trying to find ways that we could save money. She asked why we were doing that and I told her that with the fire and flood, money’s tight right now and told her that we’ll be okay in a few months. She asked a few questions and offered to sell some of her toys and set up a lemonade stand to help out. I explained that this is between the grown ups and that we just won’t be able to go toy shopping or go out to eat too often and we may have to postpone our trip to Disneyland. She said okay and went back to her room.
The second Hailey left, Amy laid into me for telling Hailey about my financial situation and said that she’s too young to know these things. In my opinion, telling an 8 year old “mommy’s not making that much money right now so we can’t go out to eat or get new toys that much. Everything’s gonna go back to normal in a few months” isn’t going to scar them for life.
AITA for telling my daughter that we’re having financial problems?
What does Reddit think? Let’s find out!
First, there’s never a great reason not to directly answer children’s questions when you can.
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Going one step further, it’s never really too early to start teaching the difference between needs and wants.
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Many times, it makes kids more anxious to sense things and not be in the know, to be honest.
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Age-appropriate honesty is probably something to strive for in the future.
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See, it all works out in the end!
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I personally think OP handled this beautifully; she sounds like a thoughtful and responsible parent.
Do you agree? Disagree? Tell us why or why not in the comments!
