Listen, I realize that saying “I told you so” is almost never helpful, especially if you’re dealing with a person you care about (or someone you have to continue to deal with, like a coworker). That said, we’re all human, and sometimes it’s really hard to resist.
Like this poor man, who got stuck between his teenaged son and his wife after his kid moved into his own room and expressed that he really wanted some privacy.
AITA…For telling my wife “I warned you” when our son got a lock for his room?
So here’s the problem, My son Simon (16) moved out of the room he used to share with his little brother and got his own room a few months back. Eversince, he’s been complaining about his mom barging in without knocking and interrupting his sleep and studying. Sometimes when he’s changing…I know that she’s his mother but he says he’s got his own room and has a job and is learning to become an independent adult but doesn’t feel like his privacy is being respected even when that’s his mom. He says he’s not a kid anymore and is entitled to at least get a knock on the door before she comes in.
He was getting tired of her not listening to him So he came to me and said …dad, you need to help me set some clear boundaries with mom. So I spoke to her about her need to knock before entering Simon’s room. She was like what? And no, we’re family, not strangers…do you really expect me to foolishly knock on the door 5 times a day?…that’s ridiculous!!! Also the…”who knocks doors in their own home?”. I told her my family for instance. She made a face then went on a rant about how my family hate each others and the way they treat each others like they were strangers is shameful. I told her family or strangers it’s about respecting one’s privacy. We had an argument about it and I told her if she wasn’t going to stop with the barging and refuse to knock on the door before entering then our son will get a lock.
She did it again at 11pm, she barged in when our son was asleep he jumped up because he got scared. Once he told me this I told him to go ahead and get a lock and pay for it with his own money, there was literally no other way.
My wife saw it and got upset and my brother was visiting when she was raising her voice at me questioning if I really went ahead and got a lock for Simon despite her disapproval and said that I caught her off guard and it’s not okay because this teaches our children that they can ‘manipulate’ one parent into doing what they want. I told her that A. Simon got the lock not me and B. I already warned her about the possibility of him getting a lock because he was getting tired of her boundary crossing. So she should’ve expected this outcome.
She mentioned the same above points in her defense and said locks means secrets and that’s not good. My brother was sitting watching while she was complaining, She began chewing him out when he asked her to let simon keep the lock and said it wasn’t a big deal. She stopped talking to me and Simon til we remove the lock but I’ve no intentions on doing that.
Was I at fault for my stance?
Was he wrong for siding with his kid? Reddit’s giving their verdict below!
The top comment suggests that even though the wife WAS an a$$hole, he also didn’t handle things as well as he could have.
Privacy shouldn’t be a weird concept.
If the wife doesn’t know this, maybe she’s got something to hide.
It’s time to let go a little bit, mama.
It definitely seems a bit odd, don’t you think?
This mom definitely has some issues, I think, but the dad could have stood up to her with more gusto, for sure.
Have you had this discussion with your spouse? Tell us how it went in the comments!