Is This Daughter Wrong to Call Out Her Father's Fragile Masculinity?

The world was a certain way for a long time, at least when it comes to the idea of “respecting our elders” and keeping our mouths shut in order to keep the peace, even if we really, really don’t agree with the rude and harmful things they say.

This woman grew up with a homophobic father, one who would make snide comments that everyone just ignored because they were “respecting their father.”

So my whole life I’ve known that my dad was a homophobe. No one else in my immediate family is, and no one really talks about any kind of lbgtq+ topic around him so it doesn’t really come up a lot with him. But whenever anything “gay” happens around him he starts on a small rant.

Now that she’s older and has a daughter of her own, she can see how harmful that can be, and is less willing to let things slide for a second generation.

When her father made a comment about The Wiggles.

So anyway. After living with this my whole life, I am now 24(F) and I have a one year old little girl who LOVES the Wiggles (a kids show). Sometimes when I’m visiting my parents we’ll (me and my mom) turn on Wiggles for her on Netflix and it keeps her entertained while we visit.

Her father made a few snide comments about how they were “gay” and it wasn’t “normal” and those were the “kind of people” who should be influencing kids, etc.

She’d had enough, and snapped that maybe their “masculinity isn’t as fragile as yours.”

My dad is always commenting on how he doesnt like the wiggles and its creepy. I usually ignore him but yesterday I decided to ask why. And he said “Because, to sing and dance and smile like that as a full grown man, you have to be gay.

That’s not the kind of people you want around kids.” I was kind of in shock at what he said and I was like “its just something funny and colorful for the kids.” I dont even remember what he said afterwards but it was another gay comment and I said “well maybe their masculinity isn’t as fragile as yours.”

Dad was upset, and though her mother laughed initially, she later said her daughter shouldn’t have said it. Her sister agrees she should have stayed quiet, too, because of “respect.”

My mom laughed at my comment but my dad was less than amused and was in a really bad mood and snapping at everyone so I decided to leave early. My mom told me he’s still mad this morning and that I really shouldn’t have said anything because “I know how he is.”

She also told my sister about it who texted me to tell me I should be more respectful to our dad (she’s always been a daddy’s girl) and basically that I was being an AH.

So AITA?

Now OP is wondering if she should have continued to just let her dad be a jerk unchecked, and Reddit has some really great thoughts on the matter (as usual!).

It’s been coming for awhile, honestly. Maybe he should get used to it.