This Lady Is Trying to Get Rid of Her 'A**hole Rooster'

Michigan resident Denell McCaul has a little problem on her hands. It’s not a child, or her job, or a crazy neighbor. It’s her rooster.

McCaul let the entire world know that she’s trying to get rid of her rooster because, well, he’s a total asshole. This is McCaul’s description of her feathered friend and why she’s trying to rid herself of him forever:

FREE to good home. Well, any home really. At this point I don’t give a shit what kind of home this inconsiderate jerk goes to: ASSHOLE ROOSTER. He’s the perfect rooster if your alarm is broken and you need to be awake at 5:30 a.m. That is his only setting, 5:30. He has no snooze button but will be quiet just long enough for you to fall back to sleep and then he’ll start back up with his obnoxious cock-a-doodle-doing right outside of your windows. It’s like he knows where you sleep and can zone in on that particular window so maybe he has some sort of special x-ray vision where he can see sleeping people behind walls.

He is also a perfect rooster if you want to start running… around your yard… while you’re trying to get away from him. He no longer goes after me as he is also an instructor of interpretive dance. Or at least that’s what I imagine it looked like as I went after him flapping my arms, jumping up and down, kicking at him, yelling and screaming, and swinging a mop in his direction. So, if you’re looking for an alarm clock with the only setting being 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that is able to fill all 3 of those positions FOR FREE! But you’re coming out to catch this asshole, I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.

Can he really be that bad? Apparently so. As of this writing, McCaul’s Facebook post has been shared over 100,000 times and has over 130,000 likes. People obviously loved the humor in the post even though McCaul seems deadly serious.