8. Duel?!
My prof from a religious studies course was a priest and officiated weddings from time to time. During one wedding that he was officiating their was a objection.
The objectee stood up announced his name and title. I turns out he was some sort of European royalty. The crowd gasped and the minister swore he could hear the brides father swear under his breath. Baron said that he objected to the marriage because he had “grave moral concern” for the couples future well being. He claimed the groom was a “self abuser” and the bride was “far too fair for one such as he [the groom]”. Baron then challenged the soon to be groom to a duel and charged the altar. They both produced swords and the groom to be defended his honor by slaying Baron insert_name in front of the gathered crowd. The somewhat befuddled priest walked over and blessed the corpse to ensure safe passage to the here-after then continued the wedding without missing a beat.
The kicker is that the priest did know that the wedding was for a group of people heavily involved in The Society for Creative Anachronism but didn’t know about the “surprise” objection. Thankfully, he has a great sense of humor and loved the unique flavor of the wedding.
9. Trying to steal the show, or at least the people.
My father comes from a deeply Irish-Catholic family, literally in the history of my family no one has every married someone who was not Irish and Catholic until my mother. My mother is a Polish-German Protestant. This did not sit well with my granny (my father’s mother). My father’s father, loved my mother, and never had a problem with them getting married.
Day of the weeding: My granny says that she is allergic to dogs (she is not, but hates them so she says that she is allergic). While inside of the church, she says that because everyone has dog hair on them, she is having an allergic reaction (btw she wasn’t puffy, swelling, having a hard time breathing). She insists that she must go to the hospital right now. She take my father (the groom) and my MOTHER’S father with her to the hospital. She left her own husband behind. She took the two people necessary to have the wedding. Oh and this happened 30 minutes before it was supposed to start. My granny goes to the hospital, the doctors tell her she isn’t having a reaction, and they come back.
They did get married, and I am here. She is still pissed that I exist since I was raised Protestant and technically my parents, in her eyes were never married because it was in a Protestant church.
10. Didn’t skip a beat.
My mother in law objected our wedding. She never approved of our relationship as I am white and she’s Black. Through out our relationship she tried hooking her up with Black men. She claimed she finally “came around” and helped us plan the wedding. Then proceeded to not pay for anything leaving the bill on us and my parents which was well over our budget. In retrospective we should have seen this coming with her history. She scheduled surgery for the day of our wedding, then canceled without saying anything and showed up during the ceremony. She stood up during the objection part and was told very loudly to sit down by my father in law. Our paster didn’t even skip a beat he just kept going.
11. Dog’s know.
At my uncle’s wedding a dog started going [wild] and barked right after the “forever hold your peace” line.
The marriage ended up being a huge mess, only lasted a year or so. Darby knew what was up.
12. Fortunately they’re still together.
Apparently both me and my sister protested my uncle getting remarried. We were both very young. Think toddlers teetering down the isle as flower girls that look like they are gonna biff it at any moment. We both got the same message while the priest was talking about them “giving”. We both thought uncle was being given away like a present and that we would never see him again, so we both started bawling. Words were still not a thing for me, but my sister managed to articulate something along the lines of “No, I don’t want to give away Uncle Bill. He didn’t do anything bad.”
Thankfully my uncle and new auntie were very understanding and found the whole thing adorable. They are still married, 25 years later.
13. Dramatic much?
I was at a friend’s sister’s wedding; it was a really traditional Christian ceremony in a big church. When the minister asked if anyone objected, some guy stood up and screamed something along the lines of “You’ve ruined my life Amy. My heart will never mend, and on your honeymoon I hope you think about the sentence of solitude your actions have put on my life.” Then the guy stormed out, but here’s the thing: no one knew who he was. My friend’s sister is called Harriet.
14. Badger Howl
I was probably 13 or 14 at the time so forgive me if the details aren’t all that sharp. My sister was getting married up on a mountain near Telluride at the end of the summer. It was a beautiful evening, a beautiful ceremony in general. My sister and her (then) fiance had a dog, we’ll call him Badger, and they took him everywhere–if they didn’t he destroyed everything. Badger wasn’t just any dog, he was huge–part rottweiler, part boxer, part some other big dog–he must have weighed 150-200 lbs. When it got to the “Speak now…” part, or some variation thereof, Badger let out the most perfectly-timed, earth-shaking, thunderclap of a bark you can imagine. Following a brief moment of shocked silence everyone in attendance burst into a gale of laughter that went on for a good couple of minutes–a number of people, my sister included, were in tears by the end of it.
My brother-in-law has always insisted that the best man must have grabbed Badger’s balls or something right then, trickster that he is.
