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I used to work with a guy. Let’s call him Tony.
To put it bluntly, Tony was a real piece of shit AND he was a terrible worker.
But, for some reason, my boss wouldn’t fire him under any circumstances.
He showed up late every day, he was lazy, and he was just a total jerk to everyone. Tony must’ve had some dirt on my boss because it’s still a total mystery.
Some people just never get fired from jobs no matter what they do.
Let’s dive into these funny and ridiculous stories from AskReddit.
1. Still didn’t get fired!
“A guy at the plant I work at scrapped $360,000 in airplane parts because he didn’t even bother to look at the work instructions.
He just drives a forklift now…”
2. Shaking my head…
“Stole a bunch of marked tools (they were painted white).
Showed everyone in the shop pictures of his deer with said tools in the background.
Gets reported, boss calls him on it.
He said ” you got me, I stole a gallon of white paint”
Never heard the boss laughing so hard
Year later or so he gets promoted.”
3. Wow!
“He tried to run over a security officer with his car when the security officer told him he couldn’t park where he wanted to park.
Almost succeeded, too!”
4. Sounds dangerous…
“Worked with a guy who punctured the main gas line to our shop three separate times.
It was a construction company and he somehow was still my superintendent although he could have blown up the shop.”
5. That’s pretty bad.
“Accidentally send the last three years of account details/back statements from one company to their direct competitor.”
6. Ugh. The worst.
“Worst coworker ever was the credit mooch.
He would constantly horn in on other people’s projects, getting his name added to them to make it look like he was doing shit when he actually not.
If people tried to assign him any work on said project he would have “a personal emergency” or “a virus would make him lose all his work” or “his schedule is booked with other project” or the worst, he would pull some sucker in to “help” him with it, and said sucker would end up doing it all in utter frustration.
Because he was so good at stealing credit, he managed to get top marks on his reviews despite doing absolutely zero actual work for the company. I know at least four people quit due to this guy getting better raises than they did.”
7. Shady stuff.
“Had a co-worker as a standard business practice falsely condemn furnaces in winter to pressure homeowners into buying new systems and pad his commission check.
I couldn’t do anything as I had no direct proof, but he would joke about it all the time. It did finally catch up with him when one customer smelled BS and called other companies with advanced testing machines. Took those results and sued the poop out of him.
I ended up working for that second company and haven’t looked back.”
8. “Blew my mind.”
“Oh man.
It was winter time and she was helping a customer by carrying something they had purchased out for them. Once outside (but still on the store property) she slipped and sustained an injury.
Was threatening to sue the business and was also trying to claim workers compensation – came into work every day with a sling on her arm and constantly wincing and being in pain.
Anywayyyyyyyys. HR and the store manager call her into a meeting, sit her down and show her the video surveillance from OUTSIDE (which she obviously didnt know was there) showing her faking her fall. I dont know everything but she got called out hard and she broke down and admitted everything. For some reason they kept her on.
She then tried it AGAIN like six months later (this time claiming that a customer had something from their cart hit her or fall on her or something). Again, tried to claim workers comp and had this whole show of being injured. They pull up security footage AGAIN and disprove her injury/claims.
She still wasn’t fired. Blew my mind.”
9. Unbelievable.
“Guy at my wife’s old job was brought in because he was really good at selling the services they provided. Proceeded to send dick pics to the women at work and solicit nudes from them.
Women said to stop or they’d take it up with management and it subsided some. Solicited nudes from a new chick who asked my wife about it and my wife went to management with everything and said this guy’s out or I’m quitting. Well, she quit.
Guy’s still there but most the original female staff has quit.”
10. This is weird.
“As an assistant manager at a Valvoline Instant Oil Change. I was dealing with an unreasonable customer that had just spit at a female employee that he didn’t want working on his car. He didn’t know that the guy under his car was her boyfriend.
The guy comes up the steps, grabs an oil gun, and starts pumping 10W30 All Climate into the guy’s window as he’s frantically trying to start the car and roll up the window.
The employee was reprimanded pretty hard, but it was understood why he did it. No charges were filed, the franchise owner paid a lot of money to have the guy’s car cleaned. Obviously, I never saw him again.”
11. Sounded like a good idea…
“I know someone who managed to close an entire supermarket early for the first time in its history (costing the company several thousands of pounds) because they tried to set a clock on a computer back an hour to avoid missing some deadline for a daily routine.
He said it seemed like such a good idea at the time.”
12. Busy doing nothing.
“Nothing.
Documenting work as completed when no actual work had been done.
Management knew or was suspicious of it, but not so much as a write up our reprimand. Eventually, management changed, figured out no work was being done, called it fraud, and canned them.
The job was easy too, and good money. I don’t get why they didn’t just do the work.”
13. So gross.
“Full on sexual harassment. (Little back story: I work in a private country club style dining/banquet event space. )
A drunk-on-the job manager pinned an hourly server against the wall during a nighttime wedding reception. She punched him in the ribs and tried pushing him off of her. We all saw it.
We all reported to HR. Another manager physically removed him off of her. This was about 4 months ago and he’s still in his position. S
he quit due to him telling everyone she’d lied about the entire situation.”
Jeez…some people…
Have you ever had co-workers who were pretty terrible but for some reason they never got fired?
If so, please tell us all about it in the comments!
