People Open up About Examples of Toxic Femininity

©Unsplash,Brooke Cagle

What do you think about toxic femininity? Is it overblown? All hyped up?

Or is it a real thing that people have to deal with all the time?

By the answers that real people gave to this question online, I have a feeling toxic femininity is alive and well.

Let’s check out some responses from folks on AskReddit.

1. Not attractive.

“Women who make fun of other women in hopes it will make her attractive to men.

I see it all the time on Twitter. “

2. Uncomfortable.

“Women objectifying young men as s*xual play things, like “Hey pool boy! Wanna come rub some lotion on my back?”

If a cougar does it, is supposed to be “empowering”?

But if a man said that about a girl waitress by the pool he’d be a s*xist, misogynist pig.”

3. Playing dumb.

“The idea that we need to play dumb/act weak or helpless to attract a man.

It drives me crazy being told not to do things because “you’ll scare the boys off”.

It’s not a universal thing, but it’s so annoying when other women say sh*t like that.”

4. Equality?

“”We should be equal. Do your own damn dishes and laundry!”

“Put out the garbage and mow the lawn? Hell no, that’s men’s work!”

I’ve literally met women who refused to learn to cook because they didn’t want to be shoved into “female roles”.

Like, geez, that’s not a female role that’s basic survival and independence.”

5. All of these.

“Threatening self harm to manipulate their partner into staying with them.

Lying about birth control/condoms or faking a pregnancy just to get a reaction from their partner.

False abuse allegations in cases of child custody and parental alienation.

Body shaming and/ sl*t shaming others. Catty and jealous behavior towards other women.”

6. That whole culture.

“The whole makeup culture tbh… Telling their friends “you look like an entirely different person with makeup!!!” like it’s a compliment, always peeved me…

Pressuring each other to look and act more feminine in general tbh, i remember girls in high school being baffled that i dont wear a push up bra (uncomfortable as hell and i had nothing to fill up a bra with anyway, i was okay with it but somehow everyone was telling me i shouldn’t be…)

And telling me I should “dress up” (aka wear more feminine clothes) more often, when I was actually quite proud of my style generally…”

7. Nope!

““If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

Fellas, if you encounter a women that has said or posted that, run like your mental health depends on it cause it sure as sh*t does.”

8. Gender roles.

“Women who think other women that enjoy cooking, child rearing, and homemaking are perpetuating stereotyped gender roles enforced by the patriarchy.

Tearing other women down because what they enjoy doesn’t fit into the tiny box of what YOUR version of feminism should be is toxic femininity to the max.”

9. You hear this a lot.

“”When are you having kids?” or “I just don’t see how you can be happy without kids.”

Basically anything that equates “Femininity” or “Being a woman” to “Pop things out of your uterus”. The same way lots of toxic masculinity boils down to “Men use their muscles”.”

10. Not what it means.

“Thinking females are better than males.

That’s not what feminism is. Feminism by definition is believing that females and males are equal.

If that is not what someone believes, then they are not a feminist.”

11. Hmmm…

“When Ellen Degeneres joked about International Men’s Day, basically dismissing it sarcastically all like “you mean like EVERY OTHER DAY?”

Jeez I’d hope not. International Men’s Day is about promoting and supporting cancer screening and early detection for a demographic otherwise squeamish and uncomfortable with the procedure.

If it was every other day, my prostate would have callouses.”

12. You can’t win.

“Women who make fun of you for having a flat chest, but call you a hoe when you have a larger chest.

I’ve been on the receiving end of both types of comments.”

13. So much of this out there.

“The glorification of casual alcoholism (“binge drinking”) primarily amongst white middle-aged women.”

14. The way I see it…

“Well, from what I understand, toxic masculinity is when men practice objectively self-destructive behaviors (like alcoholism, avoiding medical treatment, violent criminal behavior, etc.) all for the sake of proving how “manly” they are.

The equivalent for women would be self-destructive behavior that’s connected to being seen as feminine. I guess some examples would be eating disorders (which are more common for women), excessive plastic surgery, large breast implants, or other body modification surgeries.

Women face more social pressure than men to have an attractive appearance, while men face more pressure to be “tough”. The self-destructive behaviors of both genders tend to reflect these pressures.”

Okay, now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us about examples of toxic femininity that you’ve personally witnessed.

Please and thank you!